bean tells me a lot can change by march
we are discussing oprah winfrey as our new president come 2020
in case you are wondering, much has changed for one
the ex that did the rippy thing to my insides and made me all emo and return to this emo site that is gaiaonline, i can't even be bothered about. sic transit gloria is an emo song, right?
i think he was a narcissist the way he kept disappearing and crawling back. it's boring after a while. he can surround himself with narcissists, it'll be funny.
a lot has changed in the past three months in fact. i went on a date that went horrendously, that also somehow filled me with...determination.
have you ever encountered someone so stupid to the nuances that you needed to work out your hammer arm? i'm working on building a bigass hammer. i'm going to conquer the world; what else is there to do?
i'm doing my best; it is slow process and involves a lot of spreadsheets? sorry genghis khan, it is more nerdy these days.
i have some hopes and things, i'll check back from time to time to see how these hopes play out:
1. i want a better paying job. it is a fact that i am paid far below my skills and abilities. i'm going to claim what i deserve.
2. i want a life of adventure. i'm going to gun for the jobs i want, the places i want, the people i want. i've lived a long time in a kind of wistful apathy, unwilling to show any desire, which is ok i guess, but sometimes you have to be willing to show you care and care and go for it.
3. i want to learn all the goddamn things. there is so much s**t you can do in the world. it's amazing.
4. i want to make some beautiful things that make the world a better place. actually doesn't have to be big. help some nonprofits set up website and streamline their fundraising, things like that.
i think to get to this point you have to have a lot of sex. this way sex and people aren't the most interesting thing in the world anymore. i recommend great deals of promiscuous sex. but like maybe not so much that you get an addiction maybe.
also promiscuous tinder dating apparently can change your entire worldview into one of world-conquering rage. hurray.
this might be the best way to raise a child. i will do more research on how people's brains develop.