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Instructions: Follow the steps.

Step 1.

Pick the month you were born in.
1 - I ate
2 - I beat
3 - I ran naked with
4 - I shot
5 - I tickled
6 - I smoked with
7 - I banged
8 - I ran topless with
9 - I stabbed
10 - I cuddled with
11 - I slept with
12-I killed

Step 2

Pick the day (number) you were born on
01 - the kool-aid man
02 - a Dog
03 - a Llama
04 - a Toothbrush
05 - Paris Hilton
06 - a Hobo
07 - Barney the dinosaur
08 - a Prostitute
09 - a Porn star
10 - a Bag of weed
11 - the trojan man
12 - Santa Claus
13 - my teacher
14 - a penguin
15 - an elephant
16 - a stripper
17 - a bisexual
18 - a horse
19 - an orange
20 - a crackhead
21 - a car
22 - a condom
23 - my crush
24 - an easter egg
25 - a jar of honey
26 - a hot bikini model
27 - a bowl of cereal
28 - a french fry
29 - your dealer
30 - a glass of milk
31 - Your mom

Step 3.

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing

Shirtless - because I've got nice abs
Polka Dots/Camo - because I hate my life
Stripes - because I spend way too much time snorting hand sanitizer
White - Because thats how i roll
Black - because im sexy as hell
Gray - because I love marijuana
Brown - because i was paid twenty bucks to do it
Green - because I'm good in bed
Pink - Because the little people in my head told me to
Red - because I have AMAZING boobs
Blue - because I'm a pimp and you're jealous
Purple - because I'm gay
Orange - because I smoke crack
Turqoise - because I have a noodle in my nose
Other - because I have double D's

Now put it all together and post it in a comment
By the way:I cuddled with a bowl of cereal because I hate my life.