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I don't understand this. I'm told I'm lucky. But over 95% of the time, I'm unlucky. Not just unlucky but I just can't seem to do the right thing lately. I've been screwing up at everything lately. God it sucks.
I'm head over heels for these two chicks and I can't seem to know what to do about them. Both are taken and all I can really do is sit idly by and wish I had a girl like either one of them. And it makes me feel terrible.
I can't seem to be able to do any of my friends right anymore. I screwed up a simple manipulation all because of an unforeseen circumstance. WHAT THE HELL!? I don't mess that up. I've always taken everything into account. But as it would happen, I didn't. I mess that up. Then I keep getting a friend pissed at me. I can't help that but seriously.
I've been dealing with all the ******** up stuff and everyone wants me to bend over backwards to keep them happy. I'm called narcissistic, egotistical, and cocky. Narcissistic? No. I can admit I act full of myself but I don't get compliments on myself so I do that. All I ever hear is how brilliant I am and how intelligent I am. If I'm so intelligent why the hell can't I do anything right?
Egotistical? No. As I said I compliment myself only because no one else will. Not because I am as amazing as I say.
Cocky? No. I'm just confident in my choices when I make them. And as it turns out, I've been messing those up alot lately.

I just feel as though I'm falling more and more. I'm losing sight of why I'm the protector. I don't know how much more I can take before I snap. I'm gunna end up choking someone if this keeps up. Or worse.
I feel like I'm going insane. The thoughts and images that come to mind. I like them far more than I really should.

I don't know. It's scaring me is all. I'm losing my anchors and I feel as my anchors don't want to hear about my problems. I feel as though no one does. I complain. Hell I don't want to hear myself talk about them. And yet I listen to other's. I guess I do that because it makes me feel better about myself. So I can know that I can still have that little bit of a human side left. And it helps me forget my own problems when I focus on someone else's.

*sigh*

I'm just becoming useless is all. And seeing it happen while being told doesn't help me much.