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You and Your Dragon
Volume 1
Presented by Spirits Inc.
We really care.
We are not responsible for any effects of dragons
This segment does not include Water, Chinese, or mature dragons
Hope you’re safer because of this than the people portrayed here.
Everything here is fictional and should be taken as such
We’re glad you decided to buy our issue on taking care of young dragons. Please note, dragons stay young for a VERY long time, at least 200 years so be prepared for a long haul, however keeping to this guide will keep you feeling young and ready to tackle anything your dragon throws at you.
Section 1: Keeping your home safe.
One thing to always think about before you go and get a dragon is that they breath fire, so if you own a wooden house we suggest you move. To keep your home safe from daily fires and ultimately burning to a crisp we suggest you get rid of anything flammable. Clothing and such is safe,though they may get scorched, however those brand new wood floors, curtains, carpets, and any other flammable materials below the window sill has to go. Dragons, especially young ones, love to shoot flames around for fun, so if you feel safer getting fireproof clothing do so. Many of the neighborhood fires are a cause of bad housekeeping on part of the dragon’s owner. If this seems to be a problem to you then I suggest you either live in a cave or don’t get a dragon.
Another thing to think of before getting a dragon is the cost of fixing things. Dragons, like most other creatures, love to run and fly around. Discouraging your maturing dragon to not fly in the house is one way of saving some of your higher up items. To keep dragons from flying in your house give them ample time outside so they can fly around your yard. Don’t let your neighbors frightened animals disturb your dragon, it won’t bite, it just wants to play. However this solves only part of the problem. We here at Spirits Inc. suggest you get tons of fireproof pillows for your dragon to ram its head against. We also suggest you get a contractor every year to fix any damage that could have still happened.
The last thing to do to keep your home safe is to make sure you don’t have any mice living around there. Young dragons love to eat these creatures and will do anything to get to them. This will only demolish your house faster than anything else you may have around. Any mice you may have as pets we suggest you give away to a close friend, or hide it where your dragon won’t get to it. For unexpected mice we suggest you call pest control and have it search for these elusive creatures and get rid of every last one of them before you get your dragon, we also advise you get every kind of house insurance available to you.
Section 2: Other Pets
Dragons love company, whether they are as big as other dragons or as small as a rabbit. There are a few things you may want to think about before getting a dragon if you have any other pets, or plan on getting other pets.
1)Young dragons can be intimidating. Make sure your pet is tough enough to stand up to a dragon.
2) Small pets are in danger of never being seen again. If you have a small pet keep it out of the dragons sight and mind.
3) Make sure your pet isn’t breeding. While your pet may be protective of its young, your dragon won’t understand and will want to play with it. Keep breeding pets and their young away from dragon, for your pets safety.
Remember these things in pets and you’ll be fine. The best pet to have around a dragon in its household is a medium dog that loves to run. It will often tire your dragon out better than you can. Cats are good too, however make sure it doesn’t scratch that much, your dragon could get angry and fry it for dinner.
Section 3: Basic Care/ Playtime
Dragons are relatively easy to take care of after the first two sections. They eat just about anything you eat, but can also fend for themselves, making vacations a breeze. Though they love to be around people they can also live alone for extended periods of time without trashing your house trying to find out where you went or breaking windows trying to get to you. All you really need to do is give it an occasional bath, make sure it gets plenty of exercise and feed it once in a while. Don’t worry about waste products because dragons incinerate whatever they let out as a force of habit.
For all the men who consider a dragon as a pet, don’t wear boxers. There have been numerous incidents involving dragons and boxers. No, they don’t burn them to a crisp in contempt. They chew on them until they are torn to pieces. You think dogs are bad, wait till a dragon gets hold of your favorite pair of boxers and then talk. One of our own members here at Spirits Inc. has a story to tell of a dragon and boxers.
“It’s horrible. I do the laundry in my house and my adoptive father wears boxers,” Blade began his hands trembling. “Astros, my adoptive father, was doing some things in his lab across town and I went out to find my dragon Anari so I could put her away before doing the laundry. When I couldn’t find her I expected the worst and went to the living room, but she wasn’t there. I found Astros’s door opened and looked inside to see whether everything was all right. There she was chewing on a pair of his boxers. I didn’t even know he had boxers covered in hearts till then! I ran to grab it and she moved away making me trip over her tail. After I finally grabbed hold of said boxers we broke into a game of tug-of-war which lasted for twenty minutes! Twenty minutes of trying to get those blasted things away from her and they ripped making them completely useless. She didn’t stop there though, she went into his closet to fetch more boxers. I tried to stop her but it lasted longer than you would think. I got her out of there about an hour later with three other pairs of boxers wrecked and a whole bunch needing patches where her claws dug in, but now she tries anything to get in there, even ramming the door with her head. In summary, don’t get boxers. It’s really not worth it.”
Playtime is pretty easy for dragons. Get a bunch of tennis balls and throw them out in the yard for your dragon to catch. For inside play we suggest giving it an extra encyclopedia to play with. It may sound weird but dragons love to throw them around and knaw on its corners. It will also last longer than a regular chew toy, and there won’t be disputes among it and any other pets you have.
We hope our guide was helpful to you. Following these steps will ensure that your dragon grows up healthy and your house and pets stay safe. Because of the dragon’s extended life span we suggest a copy of this be placed in your safety deposit box until your kids are old enough to take care of it.
 ragond · Thu Aug 17, 2006 @ 12:45pm · 1 Comments |
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