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So I was doing my business, you know, deck to deck, number two, deuces, when I noticed that Charmin' Ultra Soft was SUPER soft. So I was like, "I wonder if it is as strong as it is soft."

This, made me think of a test. I would find other brands of toilet paper and test them. It actually didn't work out quite as planned, because my parents are Charmin' fans.

So, this lead me to the makeshit ones. I would test it's absorbency against itself, a paper towel, and a piece of bread (I had to have a third competitor, and I didn't have anything).

White bread, by the way. That whole wheat sht is nasstttyyy.

Anyway, I poured a small amount of Listerine mouthwash on the floor and let the testing begin.

First off was the Charmin' of course. Needless to say, it withered into a tiny ball and laid on the floor.

Second off was the paper towel. It sucked, really. It leaked through and was nasty to touch afterward.

Third off, finally, was the piece of bread. The other two sucked. When I tested it, I was rather surprised. Everyone, buy a loaf of bread for your bathroom! It was the most absorbent and did not let any liquid pass through. It was easy to pick up afterwards, too. I might just contemplate getting a loaf for my bathroom.

But that was basically it. My mother just walked in and asked me why there was a piece of mouthwash stained bread. Pssh. I shook my head and didn't know anything.

You saw nothing.