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ah yes, valentines day. As a holiday I think it's as nice as any other... well halloween still rocks more, and christmas has a better pay off, and better songs, and I do love shopping for others so I guess valentines day is under those.... and I'm off topic. My big rant this year is couples. My room mate has a boyfriend and they're gross right now. So sweet I want to hurl. I only say that because I haven't seen my boyfrend in six weeks and will get to seem him maybe three days and then he'll be gone for florida. forever. He says he'll visit me once a year but.... I don't know. We'll get busy and it won't happen. I don't want this to be the end but we're moving apart. Everyone says I should break up with him but I love him. He's a good guy and I want to be with him forever but it dosen't look like that's going to happen. After college I want to stay here and he may stay there and then... we're apart forever. And I don't like Florida. Pretty but far too hot for my liking. This valentines day I get to spend it in math class and sex-iled from my room for two days, because my room mate wants to spend time with her boy. Well I want to spend time locked in my room, wearing my boyfriends t-shirt, curled in the darkness, feeling bad for myself. I admit it. I had looked forward to spending the day feeling bad for myself. Maybe some cookie dough ice cream, some godiva, some truffles, violent video games and maybe some sappy movies... a day of self indulgence and solitary misery. Not happening. Can't go to my room. Have to stay with friends. Can't be miserable. I believe I've claimed saturday as my misery day then. And I'm not getting out of my night gown. I'm only leaving my room for more ice cream and more movies. Take that. You want to kick my out of my room? Fine. It'll be twice as bad saturday *blows raspberries* I don't really mean that, Friday I'm going ice skating and sunday I'm going to a museum and I'm sure I have some work I could do... The closer we get to valentines day the more vicious and depressed I get. He's sending me a gift... which is very sweet but at the same time... not what I want. He can't give me what I want. I want him to be here, and that will never happen, will it? *sighs* I should just accept it. Oh crap it's late, I didn't even realize. Time for bed so I can wake up and do my silly project and go to my silly class and pretend to be happy.
[img:5c5c63a218]http://www.cutandpastescripts.com/cgi-bin/randomimages/randomimages.pl?username=DragonSong[/img:5c5c63a218]
 DragonSong · Wed Feb 13, 2008 @ 06:25am · 0 Comments |
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boyfriend update and random me update |
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well my boyfriend wasn't ignoring me for WOW, he was having issues with his family. They want to move. Like they can't possibly wait until he's done with college to do! Oh noooooo! *Sighs and glares at computer* Anything more I say will be very mean, I should curb this agression.... In other news my beta died for no apparant reason so tomorrow I'm going to get a new one. College is going well. I'm seriously loving college life. I like living on my own. I went to the art museum today and got a book on fashion and a book on Ralph Rucci *squeel* and a renoir poster and an oriental umbrella mobile... it's cute. Not much else to say really. Guess this journal is done.
[img:5c5c63a218]http://www.cutandpastescripts.com/cgi-bin/randomimages/randomimages.pl?username=DragonSong[/img:5c5c63a218]
DragonSong · Mon Jan 21, 2008 @ 01:50am · 0 Comments |
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Soooo I haven't written since nearly last year.... I'm in college now, having a good time, getting great grades. I've had to change rooms once due to horrid room mates but now everything seems to be working out again.
So you know what's coming, right? Boy friend issues. *sighs* It's inevitable I suppose. It's my second semester and the first semester went fine, we talked probably about once every other day on the phone. Many weeks it was every day we talked. I liked that, alot. I liked to know I was still thought of but now.... I've been here since last saturday and he hasn't called me once. I called him saturday night and he was busy so we only talked for a few minutes, he was on WOW then I called monday night, I was having a rough time because I was very lonely and some girl wanted me to switch rooms after I had finally settled down and was happy in this room and I was just upset. He was really distracted, playing WOW again and then he cut me off and was like "I'm tired, I think I'm going to bed" And that was the last I heard of him. I called last night but no one picked up and he hasn't called back. It hurts... really hurts... I've been trying to pretend like it dosen't matter but that's a lie. It matters alot to me. I feel like.... like I'm the video game, something amusing to have around, and that WOW is his girlfriend, the one he really wants to spend time with. I haven't cried this much in a long time... I'm hurting so much, and I miss him and I'm afraid I'm going to lose him because of my college. I don't want to lose him but I can't, I won't, give up my college either. All I know is that it hurts so much. I'm worried he dosen't love me anymore, because I still love him... I don't know what to do anymore.
DragonSong · Wed Jan 16, 2008 @ 05:10am · 0 Comments |
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A rawr for Valentines day |
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*Sigh* Here we go again. Ever notice that I only write when my bf angers me? Well that's really the only thing that sets me off like this.
Oh where to start? My friend told me something I didn't expect and didn't want to hear so I freaked on her... and I really shouldn't have. Wasn't my place. I'd appologize if I could get hold of her... guess it has to wait until we're in school again(We have a snow day.)
Now to the actual rant. I was really excited because I thought my bf was going to come over... and he isn't. He's still sick. I can't go because mom won't let me and I know I shouldn't have expected him to walk, he never does when I think he's going to during the winter... I thought maybe today would be different. Nope. I did all this work to get ready and... It dosen't matter. I'm PMSing so depressing event+pmsing= crying ya... gotta go clean
DragonSong · Wed Feb 14, 2007 @ 08:43pm · 0 Comments |
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OMG STOP SENDING ME CHAIN LETTERS!
DragonSong · Fri Dec 08, 2006 @ 01:23pm · 0 Comments |
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ok i'd like to make an appology about my last entry. i had no right to be mad but at the moment i was depressed and i had to blow off steam before i exploded... i do love my boyfriend and i shouldnt have been upset because he wanted alone time. i cant say i understand because i've never had that feeling with him, i've always wanted to be with him, no matter how i feel. the only time i dont see him when i can is if i dont want to upset him... but i respect that he wants alone time. leelan i'm sorry. i'm also sorry i expected you to say i love you to me, it's a relationship, i should have said it if you didnt. it's my job, i shouldnt expect it of you.
i'm sorry i called my friend a moron for sleeping with her bf, a true moron wouldnt use protection. i dont think it's the smartest thing but she isnt a moron. i dont take back what i said about her boyfriend though.
i dont take back what i said about the horse back riding clique either. not even part of it... so they can bite me.
i did stay up all night and i wasnt fun to work with today but instead of being pissed i was just weepy and i stayed up all night last night because i couldnt sleep because i felt really bad about being so mean to my bf so... i appologized and it's in writing for the world to see. i'm sorry again leelan.
DragonSong · Fri Dec 08, 2006 @ 02:17am · 0 Comments |
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ok this rant has a few things, first off my friends are pissing me off. ones sleeping with her boyfriend then acting all high and mighty and 'grown up' about it, and i could deal with that but then he has a fight with her about a paper that she accidentaly emailed to a teacher. i'm sorry but it was a ******** accident! grow up and deal, she didnt plagerize your paper she's much too smart for that! i mean she's very smart so she would know better but she's also smarter than he is so hers would inevitably be better! so ******** off moron! believe her and let it go, if you love her then thats what you do, but somehow i think he just wants someone to slip into when he's bored
second that little clique in horse back riding is pissing me off. they're friends with me in front of the instructor but when hes not there they sidle up together and tell me to go away because they dont want to hear it. go. to. hell. i dont need a bunch of middle school, private school, laptop and ipod getting brats telling me to shut up. i may not have the newest clothes but at least i dont look like everyone else, and my hair may get sweaty but at least there are ideas under it, unlike you those little freaks who'll find some 'nice boy' to take care of them. oh i'll tell you what he'll do with you.... but thats not appropriate for gaia
third my bf told me i was smothering him and smiled and walked away and guess what? that stung! terribly! i asked him about it today and he said he needed space... that makes sense but he's never needed space! he's always wanted to be with me and i dont know why it hurts that he dosent want to talk to me about everything... i guess i have issues because i dont need space, or want space, it's stupid but i want to be with him, not have 'space'...
fourth ******** sociology project is due and i forgot and now instead of sleeping i'm going to do it... which'll make me so fun to work with tomorrow... good. night.
one last little thing, why wont he say i love you!? (because i'm a demanding b***h, what do you want) i've said goodnight like 4 times and he's still silent and.... rawr... i just want to hear it... i could completely understand him not loving me, i dont deserve it but i've come to enjoy him saying it every night and i want him to tell me tonight, not respond to me telling him *sigh* in a perfect world the phone thats sitting right on my computer screen would ring in 3...2...1... ... .... nope... worlds still not perfect... night yall.
DragonSong · Thu Dec 07, 2006 @ 02:28am · 0 Comments |
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i know what you're all thinking, oh dear god here goes this whinny little brat again. well yes her i go again so suck up and deal. i was ignored for three ******** hours today with no explination and when he got back he was like "sorry i was talking to my brother" ok fine... whatever... could you have managed a 'brb' or something!? *sighs* it's pissing me off, i guess i have to pick things apart because... you know... thats me... and i'm not happy with a great relationship... strike that. i am happy with him but i HATE being ignored!! i'm an attention whore so at least let me know when you're leaving so i'm not sitting here and waiting and waiting and waiting by myself. if i had known you were going to be gone for three hours i would have gone into the other room instead of sitting her like a love sick puppy! i hate sitting around! i sat here and cried at my poor friend for probably like 45 minutes because i was being ignored and i suddenly started throwing up and you werent here for me to talk to and make it better! i know you cant be here all the time but i wanted you here while i was sick! i was sitting on all day talking to you because you were sick.... *sighs* grrrrrr i'm pmsing, can you tell? btw i'll include this for any guy reading so you know
*TEN RULES FOR DATING A PMS-ING WOMAN*
1.) shower her with compliments
2.) be affectionate
3.) say 'I love you' often
4.) agree with her when she's mad
5.) if she snaps don't hold a grudge
6.) chocolate, flowers, and anything that shines helps
7.) dont ignore her
8.) dont argue with her
9.) flatter her with actions, not just words
10.) appologize when she's crying
ta ta
DragonSong · Thu Sep 28, 2006 @ 12:59am · 1 Comments |
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<-- It's gwee tea! 
