|
|
|
|
"Almost not quite."
I almost forgot the months I slit my wrist,
and let myself believe you really cared,
I was ready to give you everything,
and so much more,
I convinced you,
You had reason,
Even though your mistakes were great,
I almost forgot you hurt me,
I almost believed you loved me too,
Almost,
Not quite.
I guess we both make mistakes,
Now don't we?
The difference between you and I,
Is I learn from mistakes I made,
So I go on,
Away from you,
I can almost gain my life back,
Like it was once before,
Almost,
Not quite.
Lies"
Cut them off,
Completely,
Isn't it better then feeling the pain daily,
Can't you end it already...
They lie,
And steal from you,
Your freedom,
Your life,
Evertyhings in their hands,
Hands that once,
Held you tight,
Loved you with a feeling so right,
Shouldn't you have known,
It was always wrong,
They never knew,
They never loved you too.
This pain,
Over a lie,
For what gain?
A piece of Perfection?
Perfections a common deception,
Another lie to be told,
So someone can gain hold,
Of your life,
Your lie,
Your heart,
No longer one part,
They crushed everything,
With just one something,
The words simple,
To cause pain,
Planned for a gain,
So you cut yourself off,
From lies,
From life,
Your crying agony,
A plead for love,
All you ever wanted,
Was love; A simple white done.
"Down, Down, Down"
Everyone tells me,
'Don't let the sad times get you down,'
What they don't understand,
Is I let nothing 'get' down,
For my frown,
Is a printed mask,
To hide the grimace of pain,
Of fear,
Of Agony,
Of nothing,
I'm blank beneath these fake smiles,
The frowns only makingmy act come to life,
So leave me be,
Let me live a life of nothing,
In my own solitude,
Trapping emotions,
Deep and away,
Emotions mean pain,
The one thing that breaks through my mask,
So when you see my smile next time,
Don't ask why,
Just know beneath I try,
To feel something other then the pain,
Of which I cry.
"Bliss"
Not once,
Before This,
Have I ever felt bliss,
In such a passionate kiss,
So when I say I love you,
And you remark that you do too,
Remember out bliss,
In our first passionate kiss,
SImply compassion,
Not fame or fashion,
Please remember,
In mid November,
The bliss,
The kiss,
Our first I love you,
And you do too.
"Bleeding"
The start out,
As harmless Scratches,
Slowly progressing,
To deep slashes,
Pained cries,
Lashing out at those you love,
Thoughts of Constant death,
The urge to make yourself bleed,
Are all things that make me,
Me,
The pained and broken little devil you've made me,
So I say this to you,
Goodbye,
I need you not.
"Black Dove"
Love:
A Simple Word,
That Makes Someone,
Your Whole World.
Pain:
It pulls us apart,
And Bands Us together,
Its How Friends Start,
It Ends Always And Forever.
Next Time You See,
Someone Experiencing,
They're First True Love,
Don't Bother mentioning,
Love Isn't Pure And White,
Its True Form Is A Rare Black Dove,
You Don't Love Someone's Perfection,
What A Common Deception!
You Love The Little knots,
Because Pain Mixes Well With Love,
Its When You See A Black Dove,
Hovering All Alone Somewhere,
That You'll Know Love Is In The Air.
"Diluted"
You ask and then plead,
Say I'm The one you Need,
But whenever I bother to Try,
We always end with pain I cry,
Never again will I listen to you,
You made me see,
That we Can't be,
So the next time I find myself,
Urging to fall of life's little shelf,
I'll blame you for every Tear I cry,
Because, when it was only You and I,
You never once bothered to Try,
We weren't meant to shed tears,
We didn't make it through the years,
Your kiss,
My bliss,
Both thrown away,
When You dare say,
'I only give my love away,
Because I wish not to Stray,'
You promised me,
That we would be,
Together this way,
For forever and a day,
What horrible lies,
Even in golden eyes,
You shine through,
Diluted and blue.
"._D0||_."
Arms Pulled Into Shape,
Legs Completely Out Of Place.
Sewn On Clothes,
Mouth Always Closed,
Eyes Opened Wide,
Being Tossed Aside,
Torn;
Tattered,
Broken;
Battered,
Your A Doll,
A Toy,
Exploited,
Dull And Lifeless,
Perfect; Scarless,
Your Perfection,
Is A Mask,
So Do Ask,
The Next Time,
You Find,
Your Lifeless,
Emotions Astray,
Are You A Person,
Or Someone's Doll?
"Senses"
See these,
They're from you,
From the pain you caused,
I'm sorry,
I hurt myself to escape this,
B-burning sleepless agony,
These are the things,
We learn to march through,
Up and down,
Over and over again,
Trust your instincts to pull you through,
Through it all...
Can you feel this?
My hearts beat beat beating its way out of my chest,
Can you hear it?
Thud thud thudding your name away,
Can you see this?
Drip drip dripping down your chest,
Can you taste this?
My lips push push pushing up against yours,
Can you smell it?
The ecstacy sway sway swaying around you,
Can you sense this?
All around you blow blow blowing you away....
Don't you understand?
Can't you tell...
By the way I'm tug tug tugging on your clothes.
Misery pull pull pulling me away,
Don't you know?
Can't you watch...
Me crawl crawl crawling to you,
Faith drag drag dragging me on,
I keep go go going,
On and on for you...
Can you feel this?
My hearts beat beat beating its way out of my chest,
Can you hear it?
Thud thud thudding your name away,
Can you see this?
Drip drip dripping down your chest,
Can you taste this?
My lips push push pushing up against yours,
Can you smell it?
The ecstacy sway sway swaying around you,
Can you sense this?
All around you blow blow blowing you away....
Can you sense this?
Smiles pull pull pulling at your mouth,
Your burn burn burning away,
Can't you hear it all?
Thud thud thudding my name,
Can't you feel them?
Slip slip slipping down your legs,
Can you smell this?
Blow blow blowing this ecstacy around me...
Don't you know?
I love love love you,
Do you love love love me too?
Smiles are all gone gone gone away now,
You don't need my beat beat beating heart,
Like I need your sigh sigh sighing love,
*whisper* Goodbye.
"Romeo and Juliet"
I'm an addict,
I'm addicted to your love,
Your hands caress me,
In ways I've never known,
It's so unfair,
Your not mine,
'I love you' is just a line
This simple play,
Causes pain.
And then the words flash in my head,
As the curtains pulled back,
And the crowd goes wild,
To you it's a play,
To me it was as real as pain,
The words flash again,
I whisper to you,
Our heads bowed,
"I love you too."
"Rats"
They scuttle and crawl,
Their red eyes glow,
Sending fear down your spine,
Their claws scratch,
Their jaws snap,
At innocent people,
Walking by,
Ill-informed of what lurks,
In the dark,
Around the corner,
Under the trash,
Of streets gone bad.
"The World Is Not A Pleasant Place To Be"
The world is not a place to be,
With wars and crime,
On love and peace,
Thunder rolls,
As guns sound off,
We head to war,
One amongst a thousand,
We live,
We love,
We cry,
And die,
Amongst our brothers in arms,
As blood tints our vision,
Crimsoning the ground,
With the lives,
Of our loved ones,
Past and present.
"Beware"
I whimper,
As he hits me hard,
With hands,
That I owe my life to,
I will not state what I am,
For I am what he commands,
I walk by him,
With collars too tight,
As he takes the life,
Of which he gave,
With my last cry,
I warn those,
Who I was caged with,
"Beware."
"Take It All Away"
Pics skins,
And short skirts,
Red and black,
Blue and yellow,
All together,
Calm and mellow,
Tell the day,
She took it all away,
Ending the crying,
The screaming,
Cold and lonely nights,
She took it all away,
The pain,
The blood,
She took it all away,
Ending what was never meant to stay.
"Tears On Roses"
Thirteen lives,
Taken away,
Before their time,
Crimson lies,
Caused by things,
Not meant to be,
Thirteen shots,
Not a miss,
Not a hit and run,
Stay to play,
Amongst leaving souls,
Simply asked,
"Do you believe in God,"
Answer "yes,"
And lose it all,
Answer "no,"
And live to tell,
Roses come,
And roses gone,
Tear drops fall,
As bodies hit the floor,
In rememberence of the Colimbine shooting,
For those braves souls,
that answered,
Simply "yes."
"Peer Pressure"
Popping pills,
Taking drugs,
Drinking beer,
"Sipping" whine,
All a huge waste of time,
Intoxication,
Ecstacy,
Happiness,
From depression,
You say you won't,
But then you do,
You blame "Peer pressure,"
When you never cared,
"It doesn't matter,
One 'hit' won't hurt,"
Is what you swear,
Then your there,
Alone in Jail,
One amongst a thousand,
You're hit once,
by someone who swears,
"It doesn't matter,
One hit won't hurt,"
When the truth is,
They never cared.
"Forever and always"
six years,
of intolerable childish crushes,
on someone completly oblivious,
turns to love a month before she leaves,
gone away to another world it seems,
without ever telling him,
of her intolerable crushes,
and secret love,
she begins to unpack,
in her last box she finds a bag,
containing a note,
that read, "I love you, remember me,"
and a bracelet of his,
she broke down and cried,
with broken whispers,
of "I love you too, I will,"
tell this very day,
their love lasts,
unknown to parents,
yet as strong as the bracelet she wears,
proud and in love,
"Forever and always,"
she says to the picture on her wall,
every night,
the note held close,
as she drifts to sleep,
dreaming of him,
finally,
they're together,
in their dreams,
forever and always.
"Hatred"
I'll love him tell the day I die,
what if that's sooner then he thinks?
I'll love him with a heart so true,
unbroken, unshattered,
I hold in my hands, something,
not seen directly,
but on the faces,
of sad, lonesome men and women alike,
my love impure,
tainted by that of which I hold,
Hatred,
the word tasted metalic.
He kissed my lips,
the metalic taste replced,
by a taste too sweet to be named,
what I once had been holding,
now long gone,
I couldn't resist,
the undying urge,
to hold him close,
protect him from the world,
I'll love him,
hold him,
make him my world,
he is mine,
and no one elses.
"Undefined Love"
A love so true,
undefined by that of physical love,
imagining his arms around me,
his voice ringing in my ears,
so deep,
so sweet,
his name echoing in my head,
so simple,
yet, holding meaning so deep,
my eyelids fluttered,
fighting my sleep,
we sat in silence,
in love,
and forever in awe,
our lips cannot touch,
our hands cannot hold,
the last three words that came,
"I love you,"
is all he said,
before the phone went dead,
the first and last time,
I heard those words,
eight little letters,
that had the power,
to make me or break me.
The love I had once held,
so near and dear,
is now gone,
along with him.
"Healing Hands"
So many break his heart,
leaving me to piece it together,
with hands slow but sure,
taking care,
to fix something,
that I cannot be part of,
I try and try,
with all my might,
to fix him,
to make him smile,
even if it hurts,
have I become what i tried so hard to stop,
Am I hurting others,
by hurting myself,
to fix his heart?
"Marriage"
We walk down the street,
hand in hand,
barely enough room for our hands to fit,
invisible string,
tied around our fingers,
holding our hands close,
tangled so tightly,
yet tied so loosely,
marrige was not yet an option,
but was already decided.
"Crimson Crimes"
Days go by,
one by one,
as I walk down the streets,
alone with my head hung,
in a concrete world,
so rough and untamed,
holding memories,
that cut down deep,
with blades unseen,
yet causing crimes,
vile and evil.
"Falling"
I want to see him smile one more time,
and feel his lips pressed to mine,
I want all the impossibilities,
because of that one moment in time,
I want his kiss,
a kiss as simple as a peck,
yet as complex as the very kiss,
that breathed life into my very soul,
his voice cold,
putting meaning into the words he spoke,
harsh and unkind,
pushing me past the line,
alone falling,
falling father from him,
farther from the arms that held me tight,
for what seemed an impossible moment in time.
Falling into the darkness,
my tears chasing me,
holding every memory,
making them all a lie.
The darkness taking me in,
holding me together,
as I fall,
farther from him,
farther into the one thing I feared
"Could It Be?"
When we kiss,
I do not die inside,
His kiss heals the hurt,
When we hug,
I do not squirm,
No matter how long it lasts,
His hug heats me from the outside in,
Could It Be?
What I've searched for,
Hurt for,
Could It be?
The love I thought I had,
That I have fought for,
Clung too,
He looks at me,
He sees a Goddess,
An Angel,
And the very symbol of perfection,
But, when I look in the mirror,
I do not see the goddess,
Nor Angel,
Nor Anything close to perfection,
That he sees,
I see,
Red eyes staring back at me,
Hatred,
Pain,
And Depression,
Everything I keep in my heart,
Everything I hide,
No matter what I do,
Everytime I look in the mirror,
I see the red eyed,
Red haired,
Demon,
Stairing back at me,
With eyes so cold,
And a heart to match,
With nothing but a sigh,
As I try to hide,
My inner evil,
That shines through,
With a light so tainted,
Everyday,
I hide,
My inner evil,
And outter Demon,
But all he sees,
Is a golden eyed goddess,
Staring peacefully right back at him,
I wonder,
Is this what everyone sees?
Does anyone ever really see,
What I really am?
A demonic,
Evil soul,
Tainted by Hatred,
And ruined loves,
From paast lives,
Unable to be cleansed.
"Immortality"
I stand by him,
My hand in his,
He said something,
I did not hear,
His voice muffled,
Yet heard so clear,
So close we were,
A distance that seemed so far,
I felt alone,
In a crowd,
So full of people,
I've held so near,
I heard the word,
I dreaded so,
My knees nearly giving in,
I felt his lips,
pressed firmly to mine,
Snapping me back to the current time,
He had what he wanted,
For me to be,
His bride,
His wife,
Forever his,
Now I'll get,
What I've fought for,
What I was giving this crowd up for,
A chance to be,
Living at his side,
In Immortality.
"I Wonder."
He is my friend,
And that's all I act like he is,
But deep down,
I still love him,
At night when I'm alone in my bed,
I wonder if he feels the same,
If his feelings really changed,
Can It be?
I swore I'd never care for another like this,
Yet, my heart now races at the thought of his name,
Will he be the one to stop this pain?
I try not to cry,
Out of anger and fear,
How could I be so foolish,
It cannot be,
But, Still, I find myself sighing inwardly,
At the thought that maybe he really does,
As We walk down the street,
I wonder, Could he really love a monster like me?
My heart so cold,
His touch so warm,
I thought love touched a heart once,
But, It seems as if mine has been touched twice,
Am I lucky?
Or am I cheating someone out of love?
If this is true,
Then why can't I end it?
Just the thought of him crying,
Alone in a world so cold,
It breaks the heart he pieced together,
With hands bolth gentle and warm,
I'll love him with all thats left,
If he can heal my pain,
Then I'll live with thinking,
My thoughts toying with my emotions,
With the regret of my first love,
I'll learn to love again,
With a heart so new,
Only scars holding memories,
But, Scars heal,
and Memories fade,
I'll never lay alone in my bed at night,
Wondering if he feels the same,
If his feelings really changed.
"Together Forever"
I love him,
With all my heart,
His hand in mine,
Together, Forever,
We love,
We live,
We're happy,
For once,
Together, Forever,
We will be
"My soulmate"
He stands still,
Tall,
Handsome,
Strong,
Those loving eyes,
And brilliant smile,
With peace,
And love,
Together in one,
I have met my soul,
His heart beating in time with mine.
"Together In Love"
His deep voice,
His sweet embrace,
His accent,
Sweet and Kind,
His being mine,
His love,
His kind and gentle mind,
His long hair,
His loving eyes,
Perfect,
Living,
Mine,
Forever and always,
Till we die,
Through sun sets, and sun rise,
We stand strong,
Together,
In love,
And happy
"Forgetting Myself"
Forgetting myself,
The pain,
The scars,
All gone along with me,
The longing,
The torture,
Running beside me as I make my great escape,
The lonesome,
The dark,
The sin,
All drift away on the wind,
Next to the bruised and broken black winged angel,
That you have forced me to become
"My soul"
The wind goes by,
A cool refreshing breeze,
Carrying Lost souls like mine,
By and by,
Farther away from those like you,
That have tried so hard,
To keep our lost souls found,
But in the end,
We all become,
A lost soul,
Flying away on the wind
"I'm sick of you."
I'm sick of the lies you tell,
The loves you faked,
You blow me away with the pain you cause,
Theres too much confusion,
Too much stress,
The pain you cause,
Makes me want to put a bullet in my head,
Turn my thoughts away,
Make them go from you,
From the pain,
To a greater place,
Where you'd never lied,
I'd never blown myself away,
Where you never faked love,
Where I'd never fallen in love with wrong one.
I lost a great friend,
An even better love,
Over something that never was,
You'll never have me again,
Drop to your knees and ball,
i wont care,
Or head your call,
I am my own person,
I need you no more..
 SeibetsuKoneko · Sun Dec 20, 2009 @ 04:05pm · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
