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ruby-sama's poetry Journal
random poems that i make up as i write them
who am i

Who am I?

Does anyone see me?
Do they really
Or do they just see
What they want to see
But is the me they see
Really me at all

Do I live?
Or just exist
Because to live you need a purpose
And I have none
If I once had a purpose
It's long gone

So why am I still here
If I have nowhere that I belong
I told you
I just exist
I'm not living anymore

I'm just a ghost
Even though I'm still breathing
With no meaning in life
No one would miss me if I go away
But why if I have no purpose
Do I continue to stay?

I'm no optimist
But there is always a chance
That I may gain a purpose in life
And for that
I stay

But sometimes it's hard
And I feel my self, giving into the nothingness
Of my mind
Telling me no one would miss me
But some how I snap myself out of it
By reminding my self that
Even though I bleed black
Someone could turn my blood red
And I should stay if there's even the smallest chance
That I could stop bleeding black


oxymorons
Oxymorons

There are a lot of oxymoron's out there
Like Jumbo shrimp
And real live ghost
But do you know what oxymoron that I like the most
Its,
Murder by suicide


why
why do i live
what is my purpose in life
why doesnt anyone acknowledge me
for who i am
and not for the mask i wear
why cant anybody realize
that my happiness is fake
and on the inside im cold and sad
while my mask only shows happiness and anger
dont they find it odd that i never cry
my mask wont let me
but thats all i feel like doing sometimes
why cant anyone love me for who i am
not who i pretend to be
why wont anybody tell me to be myself
instead of what they think i should be
why wont the listen
why dont they care
why do they say they love me
buy they are never there when i need them
they lie and try to mold me
to fit their design
so to make them happy
i made a mask
one that no one takes the time to look past
one that makes me feel alone and afraid
but wont let me show it
why cant i find someone to love me
the real me
and wont change me
to fit them
that would let me be free and happy
what am i saying
that will never happen
because no one cares
and the world wont allow it
so i will continue to fall
into the darkness
because no one is willing to save me
i will be alone
forever

ruby
05/july/05
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good and bad often colide
pain is constant
pain never changes
pain is good
darkness is good
darkness never leaves
darkness is constant
change is bad
light is bad
light changes
light doesnt stay
being alone is good
people are bad
people change
people leave
people betray
im always alone
i dont like it
but its constant
so its good
i love the darkness
its always there
it will never leave me
pain is my only friend
it never goes away
it never gets worse
it never gets better
its constant
people hate me
people betray me
i hate people
they change
change is the enemy
change is time
time is the enemy
light brings darkness
light is bad
darkness is bliss
bliss is pain
pain is love
love is bad
love leaves you
love betrays you
loves brings pain
pain is good
good and bad often colide
life is proof

ruby
17/june/05
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water
ice is cold
steam is hot
hail is hard
snow is soft
no matter what
in the end its water
and water is wet

ruby
12/june/05
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wanted
im not wanted
never was
and never will be
who would want me
what do i have to offer
nothing
im not pretty
im not smart
im not useful
im a burdun
no one likes me
im not wanted
never was
and never will be
im not wanted

ruby
12/june/05
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wings

every body has a pair of wings
what are yours
are you an angel with wings of white
and a heart thats pure
are you a fallen angel with wings of grey
and a pure heart now tainted
or are you a demon with wings of black
and a tainted heart from the begining
look inside your heart and see your wings
inside your mortal body your one of three things
now that you know what will you do
will you accept it
regect it
but one things for sure you can not change it

Ruby(fallen angel)
11/june/05
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Kijana-Genet
Community Member
Kijana-Genet
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