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All right. This is basically a vent for me.
All right, so Morgan and I are not together. Which bothered me at first. Not so much anymore. I'm pretty happy right now, actually. I don't know how long my happiness will last, but there's no real way to tell the future of course.
I don't know if she and I can be friends. If we can, awesome. I'd like that. She's a great person. If we can't, oh well. Too bad for both of us. I lost her, she lost me, we’re both the losers in this.
I loved her for a reason though. She's still as beautiful, as smart, and as good a musician as when we were together. I'm not going to suddenly call her a "lying, cheating ho" because that's not true. If she didn't love me... well, I'd like to think she did. I honestly do think that she did.
Now. On to what the future may hold. I can be friends with her, easy. I'd really like for that to happen, of course, but if she's with Zach, that just makes me mad. Zach is the reason for the last three weeks being hell for me. Sure, it's all water under the bridge, I don't love Morgan anymore. But still, Zach basically caused my pain. Unless Morgan and Zach break up, I don't know how Morgan and I could get along well. Then, there's the problem arisen by Ben. If Morgan breaks up with Zach, she might try to get back with me. I honestly don't know how that would work. If it happens, we'll see.
Now. I’ve come up with something. To clear both of our heads.
And I will be telling Morgan this.
Basically, it won’t happen this year. If at all. If she breaks up with Zach, that’s fine. But, I just won’t do it freshman year. I think I’m done with love freshman year. If Morgan does fall in love with me again, fine. It can’t happen this year. If it happens the first music day of sophomore year, (which is like, May 20-something, 2010.) fine. That’s acceptable. Because that’s not freshman year anymore. I would have liked very much if we hadn’t stopped, but… once again, water under the bridge.
Remember, I loved her. I loved her a lot. That roughly 2 months that we were in love, I really enjoyed it. I’d love to have that feeling again, maybe with Morgan, maybe not. I just don’t know if Morgan and I are meant for each other. If we are, we’ll find out soon enough. I really dislike Zach and Morgan being together though. I want Morgan to be happy of course, but I honestly don’t understand why she picked Zach over me. Oh well.
We’ll just have to wait and see how these events unfold.
 Marching Band no Jutsu · Sun Nov 29, 2009 @ 06:29am · 0 Comments |
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