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i don't know what to do anymore. im so sick of guys fighting and im even sicker of people yelling and bitching at me. i don't trust myself anymore and i know they know it. i mean im a huge flipping screw up and i can't get anything right anymore. i know i should do better but im already doing my best. im sick of little whores giving me dirty looks and im sick of feeling tied down and caged. wolves and lions don't do well on a leash and i've been on one for to long. i know it. i've been on it for 3 years true a new guy holds it now but its still a leash. its still restricting. i can't stand that i know i can't do anything and i miss being free. where if i flirted it didn't matter. if i break things off then ill lose something i still want and if i stay then im losing what i used to be. i just got back to myself. i don't want to go again. i don't want to be empty again. i mean what ill lose i can't even touch right now. do you know how hard that is wanting something you can't have and have to wait for and knowing danm well your most likely going to screw something up. its a b***h ill tell you that much. not knowing what might come along. so ya im clueless.