Then, because our district hates its students, administration decides that it's okay to leave ******** boards hovering over the urinals which reach out so far, you have to crouch just to piss. I was once in the stall and I overheard someone saying "******** BOARD, I JUST PISSED MY PANTS". Yes, I'm serious. They put a board just to take a s**t on your PISSING experience even more.
That's not the end of it. They get so much graffiti on the stall walls, that they have to paint it with TEXTURED PAINT. It leaves these tiny, REALLY sharp a** bumps, and as if the stalls aren't already hard enough to turn around in, BAM, you got a cut, and now you have to check to see if you got some kind of disease from the hundreds of other people slashing their arms on it. I even saw some red over the steel gray, and I figured it was the original color, but it wasn't, it was blood. Yeah, I think I'd rather not get infected with Hepatitis B or whatever the ******** is in that wall.
And let's not forget the writing on the stall walls. What is it with people, writing phone numbers, and "John was here"? Nobody gives a s**t that you were there, and if you're really going to write your phone number on the wall, then you are risking prank calls. To be fair, even though I've never called a bathroom stall phone number in my life, since I grew up learning that prostitution was illegal in the state of Washington, it's most likely, usually not a legitimate phone number. Contradictory to what I said before, I don't think even prank callers would call a bathroom phone number. "But, what if they're... It's a little... I don't want to...", and yet they have no problem with opening a phone book and calling random numbers. It's not like you're just going to randomly call the police or some serial killer (though the serial killer is more likely if you're using a phone book).
The police know every one of them. Even on the very off-chance that you manage to call the police, would you seriously continue with the prank after hearing the first line, dipshit?
There's also the other kind of graffiti on walls, where people say s**t like "I HATE JEWS" or "WHITE PEOPLE SUCK", etc. For one, nobody cares, and two, if you really want people to know that you hate jews or whites, why don't you just leave your name? Nobody will be convinced just by saying that you hate something. I hate a lot of stuff, and I write s**t about it even, but I don't expect people to be convinced. Though, I suppose if you leave you're name, somebody will write next to it "IS A f**" or something. Happens whenever somebody says "Was here", even though nobody gives a s**t, so they just compensate by writing insults there. Well, if you don't have a newspaper or magazine to read when you're taking a s**t, I suppose you could always read the stall. Man, who takes a s**t in my school's bathrooms, anyways? I've heard at least ten people say that they don't (not that I asked them, shitdick). But then again, it's not like you'll get "cooties" or HIV from a toilet seat. People are so dense, I swear. Out of fairness, I wouldn't take a s**t at my school's bathrooms, but that's because I never have to (literally).
Then finally, to piss on integrity even more, the bathroom, like every other ******** bathroom in the Battle Ground School District (minus teacher lounge bathrooms, those asshats), it has a timed sink which is on for about two seconds, then you have to press it again. I have to wait two seconds, and press it again. Now I understand that they don't want people leaving on the faucets, as it would cost MONEY. CHA-CHING. But two seconds? Man, even my middle school was better than that, and it was the shittiest school in history. Actually, I take that back. My high school is, but my middle school was second place. Based on my crystal clear memory of shitty schools, the sinks at my middle school were on for about five seconds, and then you had to press them again. The rule which my school district likes to follow, ironically, is that you should scrub your hands for thirty seconds, but that's negligible when compared to all the gallons of water you could be wasting, and all the money that the school is wasting! This roughly means that every two seconds, you have to get more bacteria from other peoples' hands onto your hands over and over, so your hands never really get clean. I have only been to one school that did not have a shitty timed system, and actually had the ordinary faucet, the one that, you know, STAYS ON.
I can't end this rant without mentioning the fact that the urinals have no partitions between them. I mean, seriously, how much can a ******** thin piece of wood cost a school? It doesn't even have to be aluminum, it can be wood. But no, they're willing to risk the sexually confused students stare at other peoples' packages while they're taking a piss, and save money. There's a little rule everybody does called the "every-other urinal". It means exactly what it says: you have to stand away from a person using a urinal, with one urinal in between. If there aren't any available ones to do this rule, you're like "s**t s**t" and you probably rush to the stalls, and if they're taken, you are either desperate enough to break the rule, or you just hold it in. Everybody follows it, even if you want to deny it, you know you do. If you don't, you're most likely a bi/homosexual.
You think that with all the money the administration has to put investment into their thousand dollar suits, they could afford half-way decent bathrooms, but alas, they choose the former. I hate public restrooms, and my school isn't just the only one that follows this rule, and you must have seen something similar to this. If not, then you're fat and you don't get out.
