|
I Graduated Today. What's Next? |
|
|
|
|
|
|
As most of you already know, I should have finished high school on Feburary 21st. It didn't happen that way though. I couldn't make it to school last Thursday (Feburary 21st). So I had to finish up my finals today, and then I would be finished. Well, I'm back from that. I had Discrete Math, Government, and French 3 finals left today. I finished all 3 tests in less than 2 hours and 40 minuets. I believe I aced my math and government test, but even though I know my French, the test is always in a confusing format making it a hard final. I'm sure I passed. I just don't know by how much. Either way the good news is, even if I only got a 50% on my final I still should pass with a C. The slightly less good news is that I have to have a C+ to get my Academic Honors credit.
Anyways, so I'm apparently supposed to be scared, excited, nervous, and/or unprepared after college. Sorry people that's just not me. I guess I am a little excited about the future, but the seriousness of the moment and the future take over that emotion, although fear does not replace it. Leaving high school to never come back as a student is a somewhat strange feeling to be sure. That's to be expected. I've been in the school system for 13 years, which is most of my life. Graduating is like taking a deep breath after finishing a stressful project with an early deadline. It was stressful, hard at times, but its finally over and nothing can undue that. I've finally succeeded. I'm happy with myself for that, and not so much because I worked hard and came to school everyday. Let's face it, I was never very studious. I occasionally worked hard. However, I tended to just do whatever. I half-assed quite a bit-okay probably most-of my school work. Just about nothing took away from me making sure I had time for living life up and having fun. Also as far as coming to school on a daily basis goes, let's face it I hardly ever went. One of my guitar teachers once told me I was just one of those people who just knew how to beat the system. Well, I'm sure that can explain quite a bit about my grades, but I'd like to think my occasional hard work accounted for a small portion of my grades being good. Well just like I said before, it doesn't matter I'm done with high school it's over. I may not have graduated high school because of being studious or coming to school everyday, but either way I'm proud of myself for actually sticking through it all these years even though I've always wanted to just quit.
Now for the question everyone (especially teachers and middle-aged people) seems to love asking, "What's next?" People don't seem to realize that my plans have been set for awhile now. (I'll grant them that planning is very unlike me.) Even my counsler came up to me on the last week of school wanting me to make plans with her; because my school didn't even know that I've been accepted to International Buisness Collge for veterinary technician since the begining of the year. Well people, as shocking as it might be. I've become better at planning and organizing these days. It's something that has become essential. So I actually have had plans perpared for sometime now. Well first off my graduation party, I'm probably just going to have the one for family members. I doubt most of my friends could make it to Crawfordsville anyway. There might at some point be a party for my friends, but that one will just be played by ear. I plan to move in with Ashley Callahan sometime this month. When my college starts up, I will move into the dorms, so I don't have to worry about wrecks on the highway making me late or absent for school. My college will be every day from 8AM-12PM unlike most colleges, where you don't have to attend everyday. I also will have a shortened one month summer vactaion. I will only have 3 general ed. classes that seem to be randomly placed in the vet tech schedule they are: pyschology, sociology, and public speaking. The good thing though, is that my training will be done in about a year and a half. After that, my college will help place me in a veterinary technician job. I would love to get a job either in Anderson or Indianapolis. However what I really want with all my heart, is a job at a zoo. However, zoo jobs are very competitive and thus hard to get. Either way, I really don't want move out of central Indiana. Sorry Sand Diego Zoo.
maybebaby888888888 · Mon Feb 25, 2008 @ 07:46pm · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
Lots of grammar errors.Guess what I'm too mad to give a ******** |
|
|
|
|
|
|
For those of you who don't already know. My brake line rusted through at Indy. Ronnie's next door neighbor patched the brake line, but the brake line was leaking in two places. I went to Etter-Ford in Crawfordsville to finish the job. After all, my car is a Ford. Well, they said they fixed it. They then tried to tell me that there were things wrong with my car that well weren't. The mechanic working on my car was complaining about how my car's brakes still can't be slammed on in an emergency. He said they locked up. (No dip sherlock my car doesn't have anti-lock brakes, and guess what it never has!) However, mechanics pull bullshit to get your money all the time. I can't blame them. I don't know any rich mechanics. So at the time I figured ******** it, as long as they fixed my brake line, but guess what?? They didn't attatch the new brake line properly. They car is leaking break fluid more than it had before. I nearly ran out of break fluid in 10 minute drive to CVS to get something for my mom's fractured foot. I had just filled the car up with brake fluid too. If I hadn't been paying attention, I could've been in yet another near death experience.
Oh and did I mention my dad wrecked my mom's car when he was driving fatigued to work in Elkhart? I had to skip school and drive my dad to work then back home where my mom had apparently fractured her foot. She wanted subway for dinner. I asked if I could just go to a drive thru. I was very tired from driving 8 hours ,and the several near death experiences I had gone through getting my car home just two days a go, but she had been craving subway apparently all day. Look, I love my mom, but I'm getting very tired of the un-empathetic and disrespectful way I've been being treated lately. I'm not being emo, but even the day I came home after almost dieing several times all they cared about was that I run a million errands and go get Chiniese food. No one was concerned. I was just being verbally attacked over the usual make-believe s**t my dad makes up, and of course how dare I ask politely to just pick up fast food. I'm not going to get into detail; because, frankly my parents' particularliy my dad's verbal assualts well let's face it I don't want to explain and you probably wouldn't care. Bottom line people. Your children are more important than you food preferences!!! (Also, it would be nice if you didn't make up lies about how much of a stupid, lieing, selfish, b***h they are and then yelling at them until you're red in the face for no other reason then to be a d**k.)
maybebaby888888888 · Thu Jan 10, 2008 @ 02:07am · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
you shout in your sleep perhaps the price is just too steep is your conscience at rest if once put to the test you awake with a start to just the beating of your heart just one man beneath the sky just two ears just two eyes
you set sail across the sea of long past thoughts and memories childhood's end your fantasies merge with harsh realities and then as the sail is hoist you find your eyes are growing moist and all the fears never voiced say you have to make the final choice
who are you and who am I to say we know the reason why some are born some men die beneath one infinite sky there'll be war there'll be peace but everything one day will cease all the iron turned to rust all the proud men turned to dust and so all things time will mend so this song will end
maybebaby888888888 · Fri Jul 13, 2007 @ 03:25am · 1 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Recently in my Life My last boyfriend was amazing! He was my perfect match. He was in a rock band. He was a drummer, a singer, a scream, and he was picking up the guitar. His favorite band is Pink Floyd. He loved both classic and modern rock. He loved fun. He's probably one of the funniest person I've ever met. He was loyal especially when it came to family and friends He is one of the hottest guys I have had the pleasure to be with. He was a good guy, a nice guy. He put me first. He was a Muslim, but he was accepting of other religions, in my case the absence there of. He had his life all together. He had a car. He had a job at K-mart. He is a high paid weapons specialist for the army. He had a very interesting history, but I loved him anyway. I didn't have to say I love you first. We had the same bedroom styles. It is nearly impossible to make him angry. He honored me. He respected me. When I didn't want to do anything, whatever the reason was, he didn't just say okay and be angry. He was really okay with it. I remember the first time he asked me to do things, and I said I didn't want to go farther than we had been going that night. He didn't just say that's okay. He said he respected me for it. Oh but when did go father, I never had better. Oh and to top it all off, despite his heavy cocaine, heroin, and every drug besides methamphetamine use, his IQ is nearly 200. So why did we have to break up? The army is deploying him early for Iraq. (He volunteered to go, but they lied about how early he had to leave. They told him a different date.) We can't spend time together right now. He can't even see his friends. He's in school. The army always wants him to spend his free time with unexpected paper work. They don't even tell him about the paper work until the last minute! His great-grandfather, whom he was very close to, is probably dieing in Indy. My last boyfriend is afraid that his great-grandfather will die while, he's off fighting somewhere. His family is also wanting to spend all the time they can with him. My last boyfriend, let's face it, may not come back. He isn't the guy in the tank. He is the guy on top of the tank shooting. He is in the infantry. His life expectancy is short.
He says he wants to look me up when he comes back, but what are the chances of that? He doesn't want me to wait for him. He says he feels guilty; because, I was going to wait for him. He says he doesn't want me to put my life on hold.
I miss him so much. It's worse than a break-up. It's worse being the woman waiting for him to come back. I may never get to see him again, and if he does die, I probably won't know. No one would call me. I'm just a girl that meant him one night at an apartment full of guys and my best friend Ashley. It wouldn't be so bad if this was just a break up, but we both care about each other. And I won't even find out if he dies. I may never see him again. I just want to be able to say I've loved you and goodbye. There's always a part of my heat that belongs to you. That I loved more than he probably knows. That I still do love him, and that he was the only man I ever knew that made me happy I was sober, as long as I was around him. But I'm to afraid to tell him these. I don't want him to think I'm clingy or a stalker. Plus speaking about my emotions really aren't my thing. I don't want to scare him, and even though he's very understanding. I just don't know how to say these things to him.
maybebaby888888888 · Fri Apr 27, 2007 @ 10:14pm · 3 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Moving Take 13
So I'm packing up the last of my stuff to move tomorrow for the 13th time. I've certainly have gone through worse, but that doesn't make this time all that much easier. All of my stuff is in boxes, and all of the friendships I've had here might as well be dead. Sure, people may remember a few of the good times we've shared, but it won't be noticiable. People move on with or without each other no matter what happened previously. That's life. It sucks. Get over it. I don't know what's more irritating the idea that I'm going to have the first week all summer that I haven't been with one of my friends or my parents trying to make me find friends/boyfriends from a relgion I don't belong to.
maybebaby888888888 · Fri Jul 28, 2006 @ 10:45pm · 1 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|