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Well lets see, Gaia was being very stupid to me last night, but well ok, I had this journal entry all typed up. And well it just didn't post, so yeah got royally screwed. Well alright.

Yesterday pretty much was the best day of my life, why you ask?, I'll tell you. But I have to start from the beginning. So well it starts with me meeting this girl Kat in a pool game on one of my old game websites. And well oddly enough she actually lives in Florida, and lives about less than an hour away from me. So yeah I had made a new friend over the past week. So well she mentioned to me, how she usually comes down to Gardens Mall every once in a while with her boyfriend, though she'd like for it to be the two of us, right now she doesn't have her license. So yeah. She told me how in 2 weeks from yesterday, she would go to the mall, and I should come to hang out with them. Now I know how you all feel, me meeting someone I met on the internet, I am 17 years old, for most of you, you've known me for a long time. You've seen just how much I've changed, especially phsyically, so yeah anything bad happening to me was the last thing on my mind.

Well on thursday of the past week, she had told me the great news that her boyfriend was going to drive her and him to the Gardens Mall, of course she played it off like it was his great idea, but she later informed me that she seriously has been nagging her boyfriend to go sooner than the two weeks. And well he agreed. So well yeah I went to school yesterday, not that great of a day, got home, ate a quick dinner, and went out the door, to catch the bus to the Mall. I eventually got there. had to go into Gamestop, to get my brother his Xbox Live thing, since before Kat told me about coming on Friday, I had already planned to go to the mall anyways. So yeah it wasn't that much of a big change. I already knew what they both looked like, though her Myspace picture was alittle outdated. But still she looked great. And well I got to see how her boyfriend Blake is. I mean he's a really cool guy, into computers and tech stuff, which lead me to compare him to my cousin Greg.

Well we walked around for awhile, me and Kat, tried to talk as much as we could, while she had her hands locked with his. I eventually got to see where all her "relationship" problems with him spawn from. I mean it seriously pissed me off, what he was doing. I mean everywhere we went, he would break loose of her hand, and just take out his stupid cell phone, and check his ebay account and play around with his phone or be on the phone with somebody.

I recalled all the times Kat called me up, and me always having to hear how Blake is on the phone doing stuff. So well yeah I was going to make my point as clear as I could, that he needed to cut it out, and spend time with his girlfriend. I mean I felt really bad for her, she deserved to have attention and love shown to her. So I did my best as a friend, to give her just that. She really apperciated me being around.

Well we ended up in starbucks, and well the thought of going somewhere popped up, but well Blake has a two seater porche. And well yeah that wasn't going to fit all three of us, so that meant Kat would have to sit on my lap. Now Blake to my very surprise was the one that suggested she sit on my lap, and kept arguing with Kat, that we just need to try it out. So yeah Kat had told me he gets jealous easily, and yet he was handing his girlfriend off to me so easily. But hey I didn't mind, I seriously enjoyed my time with her, she was extremely fun to talk to and be around. We had become very good friends over this past week, so it wasn't like we were strangers at all.

Well we decided to go to the bowling alley in Jupiter. The lady on the phone gave Blake directions of the long way to get there. And this is basically where everything in my life pretty much changed in that one car ride, and the highlight of just why my day had been so great. So well we got into the car, and Kat was very hesitant with sitting on me, I mean I don't have to beat around the bush, she knows as well as I do, that sitting on my lap, it could arouse me, but she just tried to fight off the idea, and any ideas of her boyfriend, by claiming she doesn't want to hurt me with all the weight that will be put on me. Which was still very true of a statement to make, but well as the car ride went on, she seemed to relax more and more, and allow herself to not suffer in an uncomfortable position. Well at some point I guess because of Blake's reckless driving, I put my right hand on her waist, and sort of held onto her, she didn't really seem to mind at first. She did move though, and I took it as a sign to cut out me holding onto her, Blake was too busy with the road and my head was on the opposite side of where I sat, so it's not like he could have seen anything, but well I backed off and then a little later, I put my hand back on her waist, and well after doing that, she gave me the sign that it was ok, with just really relaxing. Her hair had been messed up with her boyfriend having the window open, and I touched her hair, and helped put it back to being neat again. I covered myself just in case her boyfriend saw, by just playing off that a beautiful girl like her, shouldn't have to deal with sloopy hair, she just laughed at me, smiled and said thanks, which I returned with the only smile I could show as a "friend".

Her hand was close to mine, and well I started to flirt with her, with playing with her finger, and she played back, so well I was smirking a lot at this point, I couldn't help but keep looking at her, looking at how beautiful she is, how nice it was to have her this close to me, start to wonder what it would be like if Blake wasn't her boyfriend, but rather a good friend, and it was her and I that were together. She kept looking at me in her rear view mirror, but she kept her face plain, to not give away what was going on, and well I wasn't really sure if she liked what I was doing, but her playing back gave me the sign that she is enjoying it.

Well we eventually got to the bowling alley, and she got out of the car, as did I, and we just played off like nothing ever happened, not looking any different at each other, and just acting normal, lol so either we were both good at acting, or nothing actually happened. But I lost the thought in my mind, tried to play it off as her and I just having a little fun. Well we ended up playing pool, and it was nice, I sucked in the beginning, since I didn't know how to play, and then I got a little better by the end of our thrid game. Before we left the bowling alley, we had played a little arcade basketball, where you shoot the balls in the hoops. Blake once again completely handed over his girlfriend to me, without a care in the world, I didn't mind, I loved playing with her at the game. We won a free game, and we played again. It was a lot of fun, I tried to avoid our hands touching, because I knew that if I touched her hand, all my control over acting normal, would completely be torn apart. So yeah I was able to avoid it.

Well we got back in the car, and this time around, she was more comfortable with slowly easing her way up the chair, and completely on my lap, and well this time around, we went back to playing with each other's fingers, and well somehow we both just hand our hands together. It was such an amazing feeling. I mean I've never had a girl this close to me before, and especially never had a girl that would flirt with me at all.

At this point I kept saying in my head "turn your face, look at me, look at my hidden smile, look how much bigger my smirk is with it all" It eventually lead to me thinking "I wish you would kiss me". Well to my surprise she actually did turn her head toward me, and for a moment I saw exactly what was to become of everything, I looked at her, the look in her eyes, the expression of her smile, the look on her face, she wasn't just playing around with me, she actually liked me a lot. She was just about to lay her head on my shoulder and somehow the magic of the moment would make it already for me to go down and kiss her. It was just that sort of moment, I knew it so well, because I pictured my first kiss, to be in a special moment, where it is the right time. But well we both got smacked in the face with reality.

She turned her face and I returned to smirking again, this time I was losing my control of not being able to hide my huge smile. She saw it through her rear view mirror, and helped me out, by getting up and pretending to need to get her hair band thing, to put up her hair, so I got a hold of myself. But when she sat back down, and her hand was close to mine, I went and grabbed her hand on my own will, showing her that I want to hold her hand, and it wasn't just a moment thing. It made me feel special, I've never held a girls hand in the way I was holding hers, out of flirting, and out of really liking her. We still were able to play with each other's fingers.

The biggest draw back is the fact that yeah we were seriously showing a lot more feelings and emotions then we expected, but well once the car ride is over, so is our one and only chance to be that close, to feel the way we did freely, and to do it without anybody ever knowing. We had been flirting a little before all of this, through our talks on the week, but it was just little stuff, like she would love to kiss me, and she would seriously be able to consider maybe their is a chance that she would one day get married to me. But well its nice to say things, but its better when you have the action to back it up.

Blake did get back to the mall, and well he speeded right into it, with a sharp turn, to show off his driving skills. Kat got really scared, and I was pissed beyond belief that he would do that to her, and I was scared for her, because she was on my lap, all he needed to do, was slam on his brakes, and she would be flying through the windshield. So I once again didn't care about how Blake felt, I put both my arms around Kat, and held her completely and totally close to me. It was really nice, and of course once again, Blake hadn't said a thing to object, although what I did was totally sane for any "friend" to do for another "friend".

We got into the mall again, and well Blake once again, pulled out his stupid cell phone, and at that point I had enough of it, I made a sarcastic comment to him about it. Saying "you can't seriously be checking that thing again, you just did 30 e-mails only awhile ago", he ignored me and laughed it off. He understood that I held the "alpha dog" position. So well we tried to sneak off to one of the clothing stores and hide from Blake, and I was planning on grabbing her hand and smiling, actually letting her see me smile. But well he spotted us too quickly for that to happen.

They both eventually became hungry, so we headed over to the food court, and well went outside, there was a scafold outside, and well somehow me and Blake got into talking about doing pull ups on it. And well he tried to be tough by saying, "Well you go first", lol I loved it, I wasn't scared, I was ready to prove that he needs to watch messing with me. So well I did 13 pull ups, and then he claimed that I need to do it all the way up and all the way down. I did exactly that, I did about 4 before Kat, told me to stop and I proved my point.

Next was his turn, and sadly he couldn't even do one, he just hung there. So we told him to get down. We got Kat to give it a try, and well she needed help to do one, which isn't bad, so we both lifted her feet, by then I didn't care anymore what his opinion of me touching her was.

So we got back inside and waited for their food to be ready, and well I did one last act to prove myself to him, that he better not ever do anything bad to Kat, or I will make it a beating he will never forget. So well she got up and he tried to act as if he was strong, she punched him in the arm, and he kept asking for more. But his macho act didn't last very long, because it was only a few seconds before he grabbed his arm in pain. But well I made a comment that he looks strong, so we did a "friendly" game of arm wrestling.

He was extremely weak it was pathetic. I even gave him an advantage over me. He still couldn't do it, lol then he tried using both hands, and Kat joined both their hands as well, and I put all my effort and still beat him, at this point Kat was impressed with my strength, and Blake got the idea that he will never have any power over me, and he should seriously be scared of me. lol and for the fun of it, I told Kat to punch my arm, just to prove to him, what a real "man" does, and well sadly her punches, were actually the best she could do, and I couldn't feel them, but I feel really bad, because she hurt her hand.

so well to wrap up the whole mall event, they ate, and then my dad came to pick me up, I gave her a quick hug, wishing so badly, I could have given her a better one. And basically my dad drove me home, and Kat told me she'd be on later. And she was.
It was nice to talk to her again, even though I just had the best time of my life with her.

We basically talked about everything that happened in the car, and I was reassured that she wanted me to flirt with her, as badly as I was wanted to flirt with her. And that nothing that happened in the car was a mistake. Rather more of a misunderstanding the first car trip from the mall, since we both thought that her and I would feel weird about the car situation. But as you know, on the trip back to the Mall, things were a lot more easy for us.

Well at this point, she admitted to actually feeling like she "loves me", but she is sure of it, and the fact that it happened so quickly, is the only thing that puzzles her. But she is happy, and that is what is most important. I admitted to falling in love with her as well, and didn't want to say anything, unless we had been together, because I didn't want to put her in a position where she loves me and she loves Blake, and eventually ends up having to choose which one of us does she love more. But she once again reassured me that she loves Blake, but the kind of love she has for me is pure and special. So not to worry about it, and just accept it.

We stayed up all night just talking on the phone, and talking about life, and all that happened over the course of that wonderful day. And her trying so hard to get me to show her what my "sexual" side of my personality is like, since well I thought it would make her happy to know that I locked away that part of my personality, so that she wouldn't have to worry about me being perverted. But to my surprise she was upset that I did that, and wanted so badly for me to finally open up completely to her, and allow her to see that last part of my personality so she can honestly say she knows everything about my personality and loves it.

lol I told her she wins and she can have it open, since she is so determined about it. She tried to pursuade me with saying she'll give me pictures in exchange for me to let her know what goes on in my head. And I explained to her that I would be doing it, because I want to, because I love her, and because she will know that side of me eventually.Not because I get something in return.

so yeah that's basically all that happened, and how I experienced the best day of my life. Basically she told me that if Blake wasn't around she would have loved for us to go out, and if Blake and her end anytime soon, since their relationship is on a downward spiral, that she would want to be with me if that happened, but well she hopes that they end after July, because she doesn't want to go out with me, until she has her license, and can come to see me from time to time, and well I'll have mine as well, so it will work out perfectly. She doesn't want to be in an online relationship, and I wouldn't want to make her do it either, I mean it would be no different than her having Blake around, since there would be no affection and all. So well for now we are just going to have to be "friends" that want so much more. I will get to see her two fridays from now. So well at least I get another chance to be with her, and hopefully Blake, takes the porche again, so that we can just jump right into holding hands and her knowing how I feel about her, and me knowing how she feels about me.

lol we are trying to find the perfect moment somehow, to sneak off and just get one kiss. She had promised me a while back, that if I ever saw her, she would prove to me that girls would have no problem kissing me, and she would like to be the one that I get my first kiss from.

So yeah that's everything recent with me and my love life. Well I'll let you all know what happens in two weeks, maybe I'll update again sometime before then