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In Your Pants with Anna David

My girlfriend of about 5 months has apparently been arranging situations in which other women have accidentally walked in or witnessed us while she is performing oral sex on me. This has happened 4 times now since we have been dating. I am a little wary of confronting her with these accusations. What do you feel is best approach to dealing with something like this?

I have to say, it's hard to tell from what you explain here your girlfriend's exact motives. Do you think she wants to have a ménage a trois and believes the only way to get you to go along with it is to have a female friend surprise you guys in the act? Or does she have an exhibitionistic streak and simply get off on the idea of other people see her turn you on? Either way, it sounds like you've got a kinky girl on your hands, to which I'm sure Kevin would say congratulations. If that isn't your kind of thing, however - if you're more interested in having loving, intimate sex that strengthens the bond between two people and not more radical bedroom adventures - then she may not be the girl for you. I think you definitely need to talk to her and ask her what's going on - not in the moment that it's happening but when you're out of bed and talking about the state of your relationship. If what she's doing makes you uncomfortable - and it sounds like it does - then you should tell her that and try to get to the bottom of why she seems to want the two of you on display.

My girlfriend and me have been together for 6 months, going into our seventh. Well, we have had a lot of sex but recently we have been having less and less. Is there something I'm not doing right, or is it just her not wanting to?

If you're initiating sex and she's not responding, keep in mind that it can be quite common for the woman in the relationship to want to have sex far less often than the man. I say it's time for a heart-to-heart with her where you tell her that you've noticed her interest in sex seems to have subsided. Listen to what she has to say. There's probably a part of her sexuality that you have the ability to tap into so long as you know about it -- and the way to get that kind of information is to ask her. Maybe she has fantasies or wants to experiment with different things in bed - or maybe she wants to have sex in the morning because she's too tired at night and you're always trying to do it when she's exhausted after a long day. Keep in mind, too, that it's perfectly normal for the amount of sexual activity to diminish after the first few months of a relationship. During the 'honeymoon phase,' couples can go it all day, every day, but that's not realistic for a long-term, day-in, day-out relationship