101 Ways to Cure E.D.D. (Emo Defisit Dissorder)
1 ) Take Hot Topic off your your friends list.
2 ) Kick Hot Topic.
3 ) Laugh at Hot Topic's pain.
4 ) Sell all your Hot Topic clothes on EbAY.
5 ) Realizing all you have left is a pair of socks, take your new money and buy clothes at some sissy girly store.
6 ) Burn all make-up you own. (If you are a guy)
7 ) Smile (take it slowly so you don't kill yourself)
8 ) Knifes are for FOOD.
9 ) Write this 1,000 times each time you see one.
10 ) Sell all of your CDs involving the phrases: 'Die, DIE, DIEEE!!!' , 'I hate you/myself/all' or 'Kill me now'.
11 ) Move to the Magical Land of Fluffy Pink Ponies.
12 ) Or China, whichever is closer.
13 ) Do NOT kill the residents of said place.
14 ) Chainsaws are for lumberjacks.
15 ) Repeat step 9.
16 ) Do not 'Kill a Kitten'.
17 ) Ropes are for...stuff...um, not cutting off blood circulation.
18 ) Meeeeeeeeeh.
19 ) No killing me.
20 ) Hug a random stranger.
21 ) Repeat when nessicary.
22 ) Blow up Hot Topic.
23 ) BWAAAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!
24 ) Bwaahaha shall replace Mwaahaha.
25 ) Because I said so.
26 ) Visit a physcoligist.
27 ) Bore the physcoligist with your life story.
28 ) Break down crying.
29 ) Smile (still, take it SLOWLY, or you might end the world)
30 ) Buy a stress doll.
31 ) Name her Jeffery.
32 ) Repeat step 25.
33 ) Do NOT put tape over Jeffery's eyes.
34 ) Hug Jeffery.
35 ) Give Jeffery a cute little voice.
36 ) Let Jeffery 'talk' whenever possible.
37 ) Freak out whenever someone squeezes precious Jeffery and then comfort her.
38 ) Donate to the E.D.D. Research Society.
39 ) Start taking Happy Pills,
40 ) at the highest doseage,
41 ) every 2 minutes.
42 ) Take Jeffery to your physoligist for a parent-daughter talk.
43 ) Freak out when the physcoligist 'suggests' Jeffery isn't your daughter.
44 ) Leave, refusing to ever return to said physcoligist ever again.
45 ) Get a new physcoligist.
46 ) Repeat steps 42-45 until you find a physcoligist that 'accepts' Jeffery.
47 ) Quit going to physcoligists all together when the 'accepting' physcoligist reccomendends 'special' treatment to make you get rid of Jeffery.
48 ) Take Jeffery to a bridge.
49 ) Slip, and watch horrified as Jeffery slips off the bridge.
50 ) Buy a new stress doll.
51 ) Repeat steps 30-38 then 42-50.
52 ) Get a new life.
53 ) Get a cute fluffy sidekick named Orvil.
54 ) Even though it is already named Pikachu.
55 ) Get Orvil a shock collar.
56 ) That goes off whenever Orvil says 'Pika-pee!!!', 'PIIIKAACHUU!!!' or anything that isn't 'Orvil' in any way, shape or form.
57 ) Repeat step 25.
58 ) Blow up the rebuilt Hot Topic.
59 ) Smile ( or grin, whatever level you are on).
60 ) Fire Orvil, but let him keep the shock collar.
61 ) Realize you aren't cured 0_o
62 ) Donate to the E.D.D. Research Society,
63 ) 1,000,000 million dollars,
64 ) tax free,
65 ) in fancy Swiss bank account,
66 ) every day,
67 ) Step 25 (of course)
68 ) I have writers' block, so... commence with the Step 25.
69 ) Writers' block over.
70 ) Nope....
71 ) Ok, um... rehire Orvil.
72 ) Intruduce Orvil to Cream Puffs.
73 ) Force-feed Orvil a Cream Puff.
74 ) Freak out when Orvil swallows the Cream Puff and demand he gives it back.
75 ) Laugh maniacally (Bwwwaaahahaaaaa) as Orvil gets burned black and crispy from screams of terror.
76 ) Step 25!!!
77 ) Still demand the Cream Puff.
78 ) Take a toilet plunger,
79 ) put it over Orvil's mouth,
80 ) and start plunging.
81 ) Give up when all you get is internal organs.
82 ) Um...
83 ) I think you need a new sidekick.
84 ) Step 25,
85 ) and... Orvil don't gots no LUNGS...
86 ) Or kidneys...
87 ) Or heart...
88 ) Or stomache...
89 ) Or gulbladder...
90 ) Or spleen...
91 ) Or intestins...
92 ) Or... any other organs...
93 ) SWEEET, I'M ALMOST DONE!
94 ) Um....
95 ) Spork?
96 ) Dun-dun du-duu-du-du-duuuuu, BATMAN!
97 ) Donate some more,
98 ) to the best peoplez in the world,
99 ) the E.D.D. Research Society.
100 ) Smile (OHMIGOWD!!!! You did it and the world didn't... *BOOM* Nevermind...)
101 ) *Floating around in space* Get a better guild.
Afterwords:
Ash: OHMYGOD!!!!! PIKACHU!!!! You're BACK!!!!!!? With o_0 a tan?
Pikachu: Orvil, or-or-or-VIILLLL!!!! Oorvillllllllll!!!!!
Ash: 0_o....Pikachu?
Pikachu: *es dieded*
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