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I REALLY MEAN IT! I don't want anyone to read this- I wanna vent a little, but I really don't want anyone to see. I'm not trying for attention, the antithesis is true. I just want... To write. I can tell if u do read it. If u dare to read this, at least have the backbone to admit it. Tell me if u did...







.....so I can take off me shoe and beat u with it!















Mom is in one of her moods. I'm not allowed to eat anything (I can handle it) not eating isn't that big a deal, I've gone easily without food for three days straight. I can handle it easily. Maybe I should have been more careful. It's probably my fault, but I just don't understand these people. Truthfully, I wonder why... This place doesn't feel like me, like I should be here. It's an ache I've had for a long time... Even since I was little. It's hard to explain, but it feels like my name isn't my own, like it's not my real name- doesn't really belong to me. If people don't listen to eachother, how are they supposed to understand. They say shut up even though they also say you shouldn't say that. They tend to be hypocrits, doing what they say not to do and expecting you to do what they say and not abide by what they do. They don't want to hear your side, your valid side. You don't understand why they're angry, but obviously it's your fault so they take it out on you. Like teachers-- They believe something is true, so they stick to it, and when you know it's not and try to explain it, they never give you the chance to. They think that since they're teachers, lived longer, experienced more things, that our opinion is unvalid, unwanted, and unnecessary. Since they're older, they think we should listen and nod and not bother adding in our own ideas since the concept is way over our heads. I'm in trouble and I have no idea why... And because I'm not who I am to be... I don't understand this world... Technically this is my home, but often I think: "I want to go home", and realize that the only home I have is the one I want out of, and the home I want is utopia... But the problem is that Utopia is nowhere....