Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

My heart feels like a hole has been punched in it. I just spent twenty plus minutes crying for Sabbie. Gawd, I miss him so ******** much. They say that time is suppose to heal all wounds, but that is total bullshit. It hurts now just as much if not more than when it happened. It is not ******** fair. Sabbie loved life and loved the other ferrets and loved Ambie and I. He was such a joyous spirit. It is not ******** fair at all. This is how I know there is no Gawd. He's gone or was never there.

I try to distract myself and not think too much about it all, but no distraction last forever and thoughts of Sabbie linger in my mind. It hurts so ******** much. I've had losses before and nothing has hurt this much, nothing. This is one of the worst, if not the worst, feeling I have ever felt. I can't shake it. It is going to be a taint on my soul for all of eternity. I know Sabbie and I will meet again, but losing him has caused such heartache.