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I can't begin to understand the complex feelings of those who hide them.


Those who trap themselves in a fear that no one should ever know

the horrors that they deal with, or the pain that they feel.


Perhaps if someone tried to care, but it went too far, would it hurt them?

Trying to step in someone else's shoes... without understanding them...

It hurts just as much.

Do you just give up and leave them alone?

Do you stay because you don't want to abandon them if they need that attention?


Jeez... I can't stop crying, I don't know what to do.

They say that they're lonely, but can I really help someone when I'm just as bad?


It makes me wish that I never existed. That no one ever knew me to begin with...

That I could just wear a mask for the rest of my life and never let anyone see what's underneath....

Anytime that I do, and they don't run away, I'm just some love-starved puppy

following them around, hoping that they'll pick me up and let me share the joy they
fill me with...

but the more I think about it, the more stupid I feel..

I mean, that's just it, right? They helped me, but I'm not doing them any favors.

I'm not the one with the power to help, as hard as I try.


I always push things way too damn far, and it either scares people

or gives them a sense that I just want their attention...

and to some degree, maybe I do... but it's not my reason for pushing for it.


I just want to find a way to work together with someone

to do something for this world, that a creature who absorbs so much emotion

from others, can feel how much it hurts, and needs help.


But just because I can feel so strongly, the emotions of those around me....

it doesn't mean that I can read minds... it doesn't mean that I'm specifically sent for one or two people...


It just means that I can genuinely care for others... and that I want to be able to help

people see the beauty in themselves for what they are capable of being able to do.


I've lost a sense for my own face... failing to do so the correct way in the past.

Copying the inner selves of people, and showing them that the genuine article can do so much better, and more.

I was a fool, but I do not regret helping others realize their true selves, even if I did it the wrong way.


They are much happier and confident... even if they are no longer my friends...

And I would never try to ruin that for them, regardless of the loneliness that I was left with in the end...


Even with my broken childhood, and ruined connections with people... I don't want

to live embittered by my own mistakes in the present, caused by naivety.


I suppose I'm doomed to ride this lonely track forever, in my mortal form.

How can one love someone who can't even connect with themselves?


Living in this conflicted form must be a necessary punishment of sorts.