Just got home a few minutes ago...there really isn't much to say. It seems that I have fallen back into my hole, hopefully I'll get out of it sometime.
I want to make friends, I really, really do. But I'm scared. Its hard to explain. I stand with a bunch of people, they say hi, I say hi, everything stops and the group breaks off and then reforms without me. I feel bad when this happens, since I know its me.
Am I really a good person to be around? Or just a bummer? 'Cause I seem to feel that I only bring people down, and I know I annoyed a few people tonight because I was scared. I also keep smiling when I hurt so badly...I need to stop it and let them know how I really feel. But the only way I can do so is by typing it online. Only telling someone how I feel in person makes me paranoid and it comes out all wrong, making me look like a moron.
I tend to do that a lot, when I don't mean to.
Eh...and I don't like being lied to when I damn well know the truth. If you don't want me to know, say it.
Well, that was a mouthful of confusing chatter. I guess I'm off to bed now.
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