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Here's a link I found on the original Light Novel for Welcome to the NHK! biggrin

It's a dramatic comedy story about a reclusive shut-in called a hikikomori whose also unemployed and uneducated which is also called a NEET and he believes that everything that makes him the way he is comes from a conspiracy called the NHK.

It's pretty Mature though. :p I like the drama in Mature stuff though, because it's usually at it's most intense. ^_^ This series is also really funny, so I like that. XD It's even heartwarming with all the stuff with Misaki. ^_^

Anyways, it's something I can relate to a lot. sad Even though I'm not THAT socially reclusive or believe in crazy conspiracies. :p I am 22 though, almost 23, just like the main character Satou. ^^;

Anyways, the anime soundtrack is SO good! biggrin I also like how Misaki is a Counselor and on tvtropes she's even considered an INFJ which means she's an Idealist Counselor in the whole Myers-Briggs thing. ^^;

I can even relate to Yamazaki a lot when it comes to his ambitions, and even how he's a lolicon. ^^; He seems a little TOO much of an obsessive otaku though with a short temper and a huge pervert. :p

I love this series so much that I might even post some of the script on here in this note. smile

With that said, enjoy! ^_^

https://7chan.org/lit/src/Tatsuhiko_Takimoto_-_Welcome_to_the_NHK_novel.pdf

Length: 250 Pages

Preface (6-10)

The author has multiple, terrible complexes and feelings, such as, "Why am I poor?"; "Why is my life not more comfortable?"; "Why can I not find a girlfriend?" His mind and body constantly are pressured, from both within and without.

Those pent-up grudges become endless feelings of hatred toward society. They become rage.

However, the largest source of rage is his own personal cowardice.

He is poor because he lacks the skill with which to earn money. He has no girlfriend because he lacks charisma. But the process of seeing this truth and acknowledging his own incompetence requires quite a bit of courage. No human beings, regardless of who they might be, want to look directly at their own shortcomings.

Chapter 1: Birth of a Soldier (10-20)

Part One

On a cold, cold January night, I learned about the existence of a conspiracy.

For an unemployed, twenty-two-year-old, male college dropout, the winter chill was piercing. In the middle of my filthy room, where thrown-off clothing littered the floor and the smell of cigarette smoke had soaked into the walls, I sighed over and over.

How could things have come to this?

It was all I could think about.

If I didn't break out of my present condition soon, I would fall behind completely and disappear from normal society. Even worse, I was a college dropout already. I needed to find work fast and return to society.

I just... couldn't do it.

Why? What was the reason?

The answer is simple: Because I am a hikikomori.

Currently, the hottest, most popular new social phenomenon - hikikomori. That's me. A recluse.

They say that there are now approximately two million hikikomori living in Japan. Two million is a tremendous number. If someone threw a rock on the street, they would hit a hikikomori... Of course, that wouldn't really happen. Hikikomori don't go outside, after all.

Anyway, I was one of the hikikomori currently so popular here in Japan. Not to mention I was somewhat of a veteran hikikomori. I left my apartment only once a week, and then I'd just go to the convenience store for food and cigarettes. My friends numbered zero, and I slept sixteen hours a day.

This last year would mark four full years of living as a hikikomori. My lifestyle had caused me to drop out of college.

To escape my gloomy situation, I had no choice but to rely on pharmaceutical power. I'd been pushed to the extreme of of trying to simulate my own worn-out brain with violently strong hallucinogens.

Part Two

I actually experienced a trip!

The walls wobble and squirm while the air conditioner breathes deeply. Mr. Stereo Speaker is talking.

Oh! Everything is alive. We are all one world.

Mr. Refrigerator, good evening.

Mr. Kotatsu, thank you for warming me.

Mr. Bed, you're the most comfortable bed ever.

Mr. TV, Mr. Computer, and everyone else I've met up to this point, thank you all.

"Mr. Satou, break out of your hikikomori life soon!"

Oh, everyone, you're all supporting me? Thank you, thank you. Nothing could make me happier. Now, I'll be fine. With everyone's warm support, I can escape my life as a hikikomori.

Please watch. Look, right now, I am about to go outside. It's three o'clock in the morning, but that does not concern me. I'm about to escape this room into the vast world.

For some reason, the door to my apartment didn't open. Why? Why wouldn't the door open?

Anxiety consumed me. Someone was trying to interfere with my escape.

Now that they mentioned it, I was reminded of the time when I first started my life as a hikikomori.

It had been a painfully hot summer day.

I stomped along, trudging up the slope to my school. Sweat dripped constantly and uncomfortably down the nape of my neck.

They were very few people on the road - maybe a couple of housewives heading home from shopping and some young people heading for the same school as I was. I passed very few, though.

However, my journey to school that day was decidedly different than it had been every other day. Everyone I passed looked at me. And I was absolutely positive that though it was very, very quiet - almost so quiet as to escape my hearing - each one of them let out something akin to a giggle. Of this, I was certain.

It's true.

I'm positive.

They each saw me and began to ridicule me! The housewives and then the students, they all noticed me and laughed.

I was astonished. Why? Why would they laugh at me?

"Hey, look at that guy. There's something wrong with him, huh?"

"Ew, how awful. I wish he wouldn't leave his house."

"Ha ha ha. He looks like such an idiot."

It couldn't be... probably wasn't... might not have been... just a persecution complex on my part.

Listening carefully, I was sure I had heard them, their voices mocking me.

Ever since then...

Ever since then, I had been afraid of going outside...

The speakers crackled. "That's right. Those people who laughed at you were interference operatives. It's definitely not just a persecution complex, Mr. Satou. They used your easily hurt, naive soul against you, setting you up to become a hikikomori."

Ah! That's what happened! At that moment, the deep darkness that had covered my spirit for such a long time finally was driven away.

Mentioning anime brings up ideas of otaku. When it comes to otaku, they tend to be poor at human contact. People who are poor at human contact tend to become hikikomori.

I see! At this point, the direct connection between N.H.K. and hikikomori should be obvious to everyone. In short, by broadcasting such interesting anime, N.H.K. mass-produced anime otaku, thereby essentially creating hikikomori on a large scale! Dammit! What a dirty thing to do!

In other words, N.H.K. represented "Nippon Hikikomori Kyoukai!"

While I was tripping on hallucinogens, I failed to realize that the reason my apartment door wouldn't open was due to nothing more than the fact that I had locked it. That was just the tiniest issues at hand, though.

No matter what, I have to fight it out. Until the day I have defeated the N.H.K., I must fight it out bravely. I absolutely will not lose.

Though sometimes, I do want to die...

Chapter 2: Jihad (20-34)

Part One

Several months after the night I'd decided to fight the N.H.K., I looked out the apartment window at the neighborhood park across the street. The cherry blossoms were in full bloom - a cheerful, endlessly beautiful scene.

(Note: It's April.)

I hadn't had proper contact with another human being for almost a year.

I felt like I might forget how to speak Japanese if I kept going at this rate. I sensed that I was constantly getting farther and farther from my return to society. That would not be good; it would be very bad. If I didn't escape from my life as a hikikomori soon, I would be socially laid to rest by the world forever.

First, I needed to consider my independence. I knew I had to find work. Thus, I recently bought a job information magazine from the convenience store. After reading through it, however, everything seemed impossible.

Oh, it's impossible. Absolutely impossible. I'm a dropout from a third-rate college, with zero qualifications. That's me. If I were the personnel manager at some company, I'd definitely never hire a hikikomori like myself. In this day and age - when it's hard enough to get work - there's no way any company willingly would hire a useless person like me.

Eventually, though, at some point in time, every human being, no matter who, must work. That's the fact of the matter.

Before my parents stopped sending my allowance, I needed to reform my leechlike personality and escape this rotten hikikomori lifestyle.

I had to take down the N.H.K.

Could I do it? Could I do something that reckless?

The world outside my apartment was full of danger. Cars drove at fearsome speeds, cedar pollen floated on the wind, and random killers sometimes haunted the streets. Could I really launch myself into that dangerous world? Would I really be okay?

Quite honestly, I was very anxious about it.

Actually, it was impossible.

A loser like me could never lead a regular life within society. A normal social life would be impossible for someone who, just yesterday, woke at the decent hour of seven o'clock in the morning for first time in a long while, only to lie in bed, lost in thought, until afternoon. Yes, a decent life in conventional society would be impossible for someone who, after that, decided to take a quick nap, closing his eyes only to sleep soundly through the day and night until five o'clock this morning.

A normal life would be impossible for someone like me, who cried so unsuccessfully to apply Freudian analysis to last night's dream. My dream featured indulging in an impure heterosexual relationship in a small room with the female upperclassmen from high school.

Impossible for me, who went to eat breakfast, and upon opening the refrigerator, realized that there was not a single item of food inside. Impossible for me who then decided to ignore my empty stomach and take a bath, only to discover that I was entirely out of both soap and shampoo.

And impossible for me, who responded to the horoscope read on the TV morning show - Virgo's luck in love is up today. An unexpected person may profess their love to you - with the pathetic comment, "How are they going to profess it to me if I don't leave my room all day? Huh? Let's see them try it."

Part Two

This young girl, no older than seventeen or eighteen by my estimate, was being taken advantage of by some idiotic cult. Just thinking about it, I couldn't help but feel compassion. I mean, come on, what is this?!

I was sure she was at that age when she would much rather be having fun. The age at which she'd rather put on some nice clothes, walk around Shibuya, and try to have impure, heterosexual relations, instead. But religions have strict commandments, such as "Thou shall not commit adultery." She had to be suffering. It must be painful, painful, painful.

I imagined her not knowing how to deal with her feverish body each night. "God is watching, so we can't do something like this. But... but I... I can't suppress my excited emotions. Ooh, why am I such a naughty girl? And even though God is watching... I confess. Heavenly Father!"

Those sorts of things, where commandments and sexual desire merged into one, constantly had to agonize her. Because the erotic book about nunneries I had read recently mentioned such issues, my reasoning had to be correct.

An idea suddenly hit me. If everything I had surmised was accurate, then in that way, the existence of religion might not be such a bad thing after all. In fact, surprisingly, it might not even be an exaggeration to call it quite wonderful indeed.

At that second, my line of sight casually passed over the word "Awaken!" decorating the cover of the pamphlet I held in my right hand.

On the same cover, in black, gothic letters, was printed: "The hikikomori life is attacking our youth. Are you safe?"

The woman, noticing my gaze, further brightened her pious smile. "This is our special report for the month. We're investigating the hikikomori issue from a Biblical standpoint. Are you interested?"

It would be downright impossible to fully express the fear that ravaged me then.

Could they see through me? Was it possible this woman already knew that I was, in actuality, a hikikomori, myself? Was that why she'd gone out of her way to give me this pamphlet? It was an extremely frightening idea.

Chapter 3: The Meeting (34-54)

Part One

For the first time in months, I ventured outside in broad daylight and headed to the lively city. It was such a brave and heroic act, it truly deserved a shower of applause from the whole world. I want to praise myself.

But everything was in vain.

All that remained was hopelessness. I can't go on like this!

Returning to my apartment, I holed up in my room and started drinking to erase the painful thoughts.

If I couldn't begin a career, I could start with a part-time job. If I did that, my tide would shift from "hikikomori" to "freeter". Both terms implied being useless, but freeter sounder far healthier than hikikomori. So I decided to search for a part-time job right away.

Which one? Which part-time job would suit me best?

I dismissed the idea of heavy labor. After all, I wouldn't want anything that would make me tired. Furthermore, the idea of working at a convenience store made me recoil, too. No way could I qualify for that sort of customer-service job.

Then... oh!

"Manga cafe, 700 yen per hour."

(Note: I'm pretty sure 100 yen is about 1 dollar, so every yen is worth about a cent.7 dollar an hour sounds pretty accurate, doesn't it? smile )

There was no mistake: This job suited me perfectly! There shouldn't be too many customers coming to a small-town manga cafe, after all - and when I was bored, I could read manga at the register. It seemed like a really simple job. This would be the best thing for me.

With that in mind, I wrote up a resume and triumphantly left my apartment.

The manga cafe was in front of the subway station, behind a McDonald's. Heading there, I plodded and stomped through a residential area in the cool April air. And as I walked through the city by day for the first time in several months, I again was interfered with by "them." The N.H.K. interference operatives mocked me cruelly as I walked, my shoulders slumped, trudging along the sidewalk's edge.

These were fierce interference measures.

"Hey, look at that. It's so gross."

"It's an unemployed hikikomori. The worst kind."

"You should go back to your apartment. This town is no place for people like you."

The passing housewives, high school girls, and older woman all murmured these things each time I passed. I turned completely pale.

Oh, I want to go home.

I wanted to go back to my dim, comfortable, six-mat, one-room apartment, to sink into my warm bed, dose my eyes, and not have to think of anything. But I couldn't. That would be no good. After all, if I did that, it would just go to their heads even more. I must bear it. This is a battle in which I must do my best.

In reality, I had some idea that this would happen. I knew from the start that there was no way they would leave me alone once I began my return to society. That's why I couldn't lose. Forcing myself to suppress the anxiety that grew with every step, I approached my destination at a brisk pace.

I felt my body stiffen.

It was the young religious solicitor, Misaki.

Why would a religious person work at a manga cafe? Wouldn't that violate some religious precept?

The anime songs echoed from the room next door. In the lyrics, words like "love", "dreams", "romance", and "hope", recurred continuously - ironically. For someone like me, having lost my optimism, it all sounded very much like mean-spirited sarcasm. The words racked me with rage and self-pity.

For one thing, this was the first night my neighbor had played anime songs at such a loud volume. Usually, he played them only during the day, but it was already the middle of the night.

Then, it occurred to me: Might this not be some new harassment meant for me? Harassment toward me! Someone so pathetic and stupid he couldn't even become a freeter!

If so, I couldn't allow it. I tried punching the wall. There was no signs that the songs would stop. I kicked at the wall. No reaction.

I tottered to room 202 and repeatedly attacked the doorbell.

Unbelievably, I knew exactly who this was.

There was no mistake. It was Yamazaki.

After four years, this was an incredibly unexpected reunion.

Part Two

In high school, I had been in the literature club.

Even so, that didn't mean I liked novels or anything of that sort.

Rather, during the new-member recruitment fair, an awfully cute upperclassmen had invited me. "You there, join the literature club."

Without thinking, I nodded.

Anyway, it happened after school on one of those club days.

Several students had surrounded a boy wearing a middle school uniform. They were punching him in the stomach.

"That's terrible." The cute girl broke the silence. A very empathetic person, she made a face as though she honestly felt sorry for him - at which point, an amazing idea flashed through my mind: I could show her how cool I was.

I figured that middle school brats shouldn't be any problem at all. Of course, that ended up being a huge miscalculation.

It was fine when I yelled the slogan "Bullying isn't cool!" and waded into the fray. Not only did I get beat up, the group of bullies also got away. The girl looked at me in disgust, and the victim continued to be bullied for the entire year, so my actions were completely fruitless.

Nevertheless, Yamazaki, the boy who had been bullied, seemed to respect me - though I didn't know what kind of mistaken impression he was under. He even joined the literary club as soon as he moved up to the high school division.

By that time, I was already a three-year student. Since the older girl had graduated, I had absolutely no desire to do anything. Thus, I set him up as the president so I could focus on my entrance exam studies. Then, just like that, I simply graduated.

One posted affixed to his wall showed a naked girl who couldn't be older than elementary school age, drawn, predictably, in anime style.

(Note: Lolicon! ^_^ LOL. XD Sorry. ^^; I just think their so cute and sweet. :3 Sometimes, I kind of like them erotically. ^///^ I can't help it. sad I want to be proud of my lolicon status, not ashamed of it. ^^; On tvtropes, they said there's two types of people on how they view token mini moes, one being people who feel protective toward them and one who sees them erotically. I'm both. ^^; My emotions are so strong and deep and I see people for how they are in the inside, I'm usually not physically attracted to people but yet I'm really curious about sex. 0///0 I really like games like Phantom Brave and Ib where there's one main character whose out to protect the little girl. smile So sweet. ^_^ A lot of the time though, it seems perverts don't really have their heart in the right place like I do. sad It makes me feel so lonely. crying There's all sorts of disturbing labels Yamazaki has for his stuff too. o.O I'm not sure whether or not I want to put it down. XD Anyways, yeah, I love lolis. ^_^)

Chapter 4: Road to the Creator (54-74)

Part One

While making her religious rounds, Misaki had gone out of her way to bring me the resume.

I headed toward the trash can to throw away the paper. As I did, the back of the resume caught my eye. A message was written in black ballpoint ink. "You have been selected to join my project. Please come to the Mita Fourth District Park tonight at nine o'clock."

The park was only a two-minute walk from my apartment.

I decided to think of her as an ASIMO, the bipedal robot developed by Honda. If I did that, it would keep me on an even keel.

Misaki: "Why did you run away earlier? We're short staffed right now and could really use the help. We would have decided to hire you right away."

Misaki: "Seeing as you're a hikikomori, did you get scared of working in the outside world and reconsider halfway through your application?"

(Note: Satou likes to come here on Sunday nights in the middle of the one night he goes to buy stuff for his apartment. Misaki can also see him from her house. Also, Satou is worried about her and points to a sign that girls are sometimes targeted at the park at night. In the anime, he even goes out of his way to go to the park just to save her instead out of his promise to meet her. ^^; Misaki is wondering if Satou is the rapist or whatever for those girls though and he gets mad and says he isn't. XD Yeah, this story is crazy like that. ^^ wink

I decided to go back to my apartment. Standing, I turned my back on her. From behind me, she tried to stop me. "Wait!" she called, "You'll regret this."

Satou: "What are you talking about? For starters, who are you anyway?"

Misaki: "I'm a kind girl who helps worthless hikikomori."

"When I see you next time, I'll tell you about my work."

I had to change my huge, incredibly stupid lie into reality. I needed to become a true creator. What was a creator, anyway? What was it?

Part Two

Yamazaki: "Listen to me Satou. Women... they aren't people. No, they're not normal humans. In fact, it might not be an exaggeration to say that they're unbelievably close to being inhuman monsters. Therefor, there's no need for you to go out of your way like this. What does it matter if you're scorned by some female?"

(Note: There's actually a pretty good reason he feels this way. ^^; He's not as bad as Satou, but he's not exactly good with people either, and has girl problems. :p Also, Satou said that he's always an insolent person who would get mad and call people idiots, so getting bullied is entirely his fault. Finally, Satou gets really excited about the idea of being a video game creator who could make tons of money. Guess what type of game Yamazaki wants him to make though? Erotic games, which is basically hentai. XD Well, pornography is a job too, right? ^///^ No matter what job it is, you just got to do your best, even if the includes going out to make the best porn ever! XD Oh yeah, sexy fun time! ^///^ LOL. XD I have no idea why I wanted to say that. 0///0 But it's funny. XD Anyways, Satou's job is pretty much to just write the scenarios for the games from being in the literature club while Yamazaki does all the programming. :p I think in the anime at least, he actually comes up with a sweet, romantic scenario involving a woodcutter and a nature spirit. smile If the hentai was sweet, it could actually pretty nice actually. ^^ wink

These were the packages slathered with words like "torture", "wet", "abuse", "lewd", "tie", "academy", "confinement", "rape", "savage", "pure love", "training", and "adventure".

I wanted to cry. But Yamazaki was grinning.

Yamazaki: "These games aren't for sale for minors because they're erotic games. Well, these are really, really erotic games - but they're the only path open to us, so let's become erotic game creators. Let's get back at the people at all the people in my class with our erotic games! Let's become billionaires with our erotic games! Let's become famous around the world around the world for our erotic games! We'll go on to Hollywood with our erotic games! Let's get accepted into the Order of Culture with our erotic games. Let's get a Nobel Prize for our erotic..."

Chapter 5: A Humbert Humbert for The Twenty-First Century (74-96)

Part One

Yamazaki: "The heroines of erotic games are no more than fictional characters, drawn with two-dimensional computer graphics. In order to express innocence, purity, and femininity, there's no personification more appropriate than a little girl, is there? We're relaxed by the symbol of the little girl. And when they're 2D characters, they have no chance of dealing any blows to our fragile emotional state. On top of that, the motif becomes that of the weakest character possible in social, physical, and emotional sense - the little girl. Because of that double safety lock, we are protected from being hurt, and we can escape the fear of being rejected. That is to say, this is the true meaning of moe: ideal, young, innocence femininity."

Part Two

Part Three

(Note: Satou looks up hentai for a whole week because of Yamazaki, which Yamazaki is surprisingly not even that big of a pervert, and it's currently May. XD)

Chapter 6: Fond Memories, Followed by an Oath (96-120)

Part One

The second Golden Week had arrived, I recognized that the rainy season had ended in a flash. The days passed and passed at an amazing speed.

Yamazaki: "That's right. Escapism is the very essence of the erotic game. As creators, we have to offer the player an enjoyable escape from reality. The real world is overflowing with painful things: girls who make asses out of guys like us, girls who make fun of guys like us, that b***h who cheated on me with the manager of the convenience store, the community college student who toyed with my adolescence... all those painful things make the world a difficult place."

Yamazaki: "In short, real women are worthless. They are incredibly close to a monster. And so... as erotic game creators, we have to create perfectly convenient female characters, the kind that don't exist in reality. I mean, characters who start liking the protagonist out of pure good will, those kinds of characters. Characters without any hidden motives whatsoever, who would absolutely never betray the protagonist. The kinds of characters who would never exist in the real world."

Yamazaki: "There are still techniques you should use to create characters. For example, one technique is to make her a childhood friend. If you make the main character's childhood friend into a heroine, you can develop a believable bond, because they've been close to each other from youth. From this fantasy, you get a convincing argument for her as a perfectly convenient, ideal heroine. The second technique is to make her a maid. If you make a maid your heroine, then, due to the nature of her job, a master-servant relationship develops. From this fantasy, you again get a convincing argument for her as a perfectly convenient, ideal heroine. Finally, the third technique is to make her a robot. You make a robot into the heroine. Because robots cannot oppose humans, the sense that she cannot have ulterior motives or that she cannot betray the owner, makes a convincing argument for a perfectly convenient, ideal heroine."

Satou: "She's the protagonist's childhood friend as well as a robot maid. She's blind, deaf, and sickly; on top of that, she's an alien with Alzheimer's and multiple personality disorder. However, she's actually a ghost with a connection to the main character from their past lives. And her true form is really a fox spirit."

Part Two

(Note: At some point in the light novel, Yamazaki says his family owns a wine factory so he's been getting drunk since middle school. D: Though he says he's lying a lot and he's drunk... kind of hard to tell if he's joking or not. sad Also, in the light novel at least in their late teens, Satou actually had sex at least once with Hitomi. 0///0 Ugh... sometimes I get so confused, even though I'm sometimes attracted to young girls... thinking about all of the health issues, how mutual and consensual it is, the motives behind it and whether their noble or impure, and thinking about being all naked and involving all sorts of bodily fluids... T///T Sometimes I'll get all jealous too instead. :'( What's happening to me? crying I'm starting to worry so much about stuff lately. sad Anyways, once Satou finally starts going to the meetings with Misaki, she says in all incarnations of the story that if he breaks the agreement with her, he has to pay a million yen fine. :O I can't tell if that's a joke or not... and because of the hikikomori status and how he didn't get employed at the manga cafe that she was at, she knows he doesn't have a job, so how does she expect him to pay all of that? :O How else would he get money? What would she even do with all of it? I guess she's just trying to scare him into going along with it so she can genuinely help him. :p Hmm...)

Chapter 7: The Revolving Rock (120-144)

Part One

(Note: It's July.)

My allowance from home finally stopped. Even so, for some reason, the will to work did not bubble up. Even though I had been worn down, I still couldn't go outside. My title as a "high-level hikikomori" wasn't just for show. However, I had to manage my living expenses at the least, or else I might be chased out of my apartment as early as tomorrow. I had to do something.

With my student credit card, I brashly borrowed money. Following that, I sold my furniture. I took my washing machine, refrigerator, TV, computer, kotatsu, and bed to a secondhand shop near my house. I also tried selling my entire library to a used bookstore. In this way, having managed to raise enough money to live on, I'd bought myself a little more time.

Slightly more secure, boredom became the main problem. Both Yamazaki and I were really bored. Alleviating it occupied most of our attention.

Part Two

(Note: The first counsel meeting with Misaki starts in this chapter. smile Misaki is such a complex character... she seems so genuinely cute and helpful, but sometimes her methods seem a bit questionable... and she's even a yandere in the manga at least. o.O Going from the anime to the manga and seeing that scared me! XD Also, she secretly has problems of her own that makes her want to help Satou so she does sort of have ulterior motives. sad But it still works out in the end, right? Also, Satou is kind of torn between picking Hitomi or Misaki, and she surprisingly develops romantic feelings for him. :O Anyways, her first set of advice for Satou is to have conversations better by thinking badly of someone else like you're better than them but not saying what's on your mind so you don't hurt them, which makes Satou think Misaki is secretly thinking that way about him. XD Yeah... Misaki... :p I have no idea what to feel about her sometimes. XD See, most characters are so concrete that you either love them or hate them, but some characters are so complex that I don't know how to feel. XD)

Part Three

(Note: LOL. Satou and Yamazaki got so bored that they tried to live the rock and roll lifestyle by engaging in sex, drugs, and violence. XD The sex part is their erotic game of course, the drugs are legal hallucinogens that Satou orders online by mail, and by violence... they just go and beat each other up in the park during the evening when no one is around while being completely high. XD Misaki pretends to call the police and gets pissed and keeps hitting Satou saying she was really worried about him. sad She went all Type B Tsundere basically. XD It's actually kind of cute in a way, because her punches were described as girly punches. ^^; Misaki then says that violence is bad, even as a joke and he shouldn't fight his friend. sad Satou wonders why she's taking it so seriously and pretends to do shadow boxing but then Misaki gets really scared. sad I think she got really abused in the past and stuff. crying Poor Misaki-chan. sad )

Chapter 8: Infiltration (144-172)

Part One

Part Two

(Note: In this light novel, there seems to be a scene that only happens in the original version where Satou and Yamazaki disguise themselves to go to a religious meeting so Satou can learn more about Misaki. :O In the anime and manga, I think this meeting is oddly parallel to the one where a third girl Satou knew in high school joined some shady pyramid scheme business and her brother is a hikikomori that plays an MMO, and Satou gets sucked into it and almost ruins his life even more to a cat girl that's actually Yamazaki in disguise, and Misaki tries to be a cat girl to convince Satou to be interested in her to come back to the meetings before that. :p As amusing as that is, I'd much rather have the stuff that's going on in this, I think, even though the disguises and helium thing sounds really weird. XD Anyways, Misaki actually doesn't have much interest in religion and was forced into it from a relative such as her aunt. In the anime at least, she even comes up with a theory that God is evil for allowing so much suffering... and in the end of the anime she tries to kill herself over a cliff at the sea. crying But then Satou saves her. smile He says that nothing she did was her fault... That made me cry. :'( I wanted to hug the crap out of Misaki too. XD Then he says that God is the N.H.K. and has these weird hallucinations where his phone is a grenade and attacks some random invisible enemy by a kamikaze attack. XD Yeah, it doesn't make much sense. ^^; But then he doesn't end up dying, and he kind of wanted to and to look like a hero. sad But then they solve everything out and it's a happy ending. smile The manga in comparison was kind of weird... I think their home was getting destroyed for some reason. o.O And in the manga at least, Satou and Misaki definitely got together. smile Now I'm wondering how the original ending is...)

Part Three

Satou: "Misaki, you don't really believe in God, do you?"

Misaki: "I do think it would be nice if God existed. If I could, I'd like to believe, but it's rather difficult. To start with, if God really existed, He would have to be a terrible villain. Thinking about it comprehensively, I've come to that conclusion. Well, for human beings, the ratio of painful things to enjoyable things has to be about nine to one. One time, I wrote it all down in my notebook and calculated it. See, there's the pie chart. If you look, you can see as clear as day that the happy times - the times when you think "How fun! I'm glad I'm alive!" - don't make up even one tenth of life. I worked this out properly with a calculator, so there's no mistake. That's why. Any God who would purposely create such a painful world must be a really terrible guy, don't you think? It's a logical conclusion, isn't it?"

Chapter 9: Days of the End (172-19 cool

Part One

(Note: This is the chapter where Misaki makes a pop quiz to Satou about famous people's last words. smile In the anime, I thought it was actually pretty cute. XD At first he was saying and wondering out loud who it could be instead of giving a direct answer and Misaki would say it's incorrect and then Satou would get kind of mad and then finally get one right and she'd get all happy and praise him. XD I love too many things with adult characters playing with teenaged or kid-like characters. ^_^ It's just too cute. smile I can even relate to it with some of the friends I have. ^_^ Their my little assistants. smile Anyways, Misaki wants to go on a date with Satou on a Sunday before she moves into a city even if it rains to see if all of her lectures really are affecting him. ^_^ I want to go on a date with a cute high school girl! ^_^ I think. XD Heh heh. ^_^)

Part Two

In general, drugs can be classified into one of three large categories: uppers, downers, and psychedelics. Uppers are drugs that make you energetic. Cocaine and stimulants are famous uppers. Downers are drugs like heroin, which make you sluggish. I'd never tried them, so I didn't know firsthand, but it seemed like taking them would feel really, really good. And psychedelics are hallucinogens. LSD and magic mushrooms represent that category.

For the most part, I really preferred legal hallucinogens. They had few side effects - unlike uppers and downers - and more than that, they were easy to get because they were legal.

By effectively combining four types of drugs into a single cocktail, I was promised the ultimate trip, one that even illegal drugs couldn't touch.

Satou: "I'm greedier than anyone. I don't want some half-assed happiness, I don't need some partial warmth. I want a happiness that goes on forever. That's impossible though! I don't know why it is, but in this world, some interference is sure to come. Important things break right away. I've been alive for twenty-two years, and I know at least this much. It doesn't matter what the thing is, but it will break. That's why, from the beginning, it's better not to need anything."

That's right! You should learn this truth, too, Misaki. If you do, you won't come up with more ridiculous plans. You'll stop looking to people like me for help.

She was terribly stupid. She was clinging to a horrifyingly enormous despair. I was appalled by the loneliness that caused her to seek help from a piece of human trash like me. I cursed the misfortune that had fallen upon her. I cursed the unreasonable fact that children couldn't choose their parents. I wanted a cheerful girl like her to live a strong, healthy life.

Chapter 10: Dive (198-226)

Part One

Summer ended. I'd depleted my living expenses. I had no money left for food, so I decided to try sleeping to conserve energy.

(Note: This is the chapter where Satou finally gets a job because he's about to starve to death. sad He barely has enough food to eat and by the fifth day he finally gets enough motivation to get out of his apartment and find a part-time job as a night-time traffic guard. He seems to get paid 10,000 yen each night, which seems to be 100 dollars. o.O That's a good deal! :O It's winter again too and it's his fifth year as a hikikomori, so he basically spent one whole year of finally getting help and got a job as he's 23. Hmm... Also, Yamazaki's RPG hentai game finally comes out and Satou isn't sure if the game is terrible or beautiful. XD The only way to defeat the final boss is to sacrifice yourself too. They also both to the conclusion of something like there aren't any real enemies in the world, just a lot of complicated issues... Time goes on and it goes past Christmas to almost being New Year's Eve. An ambulance comes to Misaki's house of all things too. sad Poor Misaki-chan. crying )

Part Two

(Note: It seems in the original ending, Misaki took enough sleeping pills to the point where she was trying to commit suicide, and Satou believes she's a lot of it to go that far so she must have been planning her death for a long time. sad For all this time, her family doesn't even know anything about how Satou knows Misaki, and it seems Yamazaki doesn't even know anything about her like he does in the anime or manga. :O This original light novel seems much more realistic in comparison. o.O But I like it that way. For an anime like this, it should actually be realistic, that's kind of the point. :p Anyways, Satou wants to tell her encouraging words but isn't sure what to say, thinking of saying things like "Don't die!" and "There's still tomorrow!" It's really heartwarming to see how much he cares about her. smile Anyways, it seems the ending used in the anime is actually the canon ending that was meant to happen. :O But a lot of people said they hated the ending, or maybe some of the other changes. D: I liked the anime a lot. sad Even if one story is better than the other, most of it seems to be the same... It's not like Fruits Basket where the anime stops short of finishing an the manga is a lot longer and therefor better. or Pita-ten and .Hack: Legend of the Twilight Bracelet where it's completely different period. :p Though I guess it is like Death Note and Shugo Chara! where the endings for the manga and anime are completely different. Hmm...)

Part Three

I tried to remember a book I had read long ago called The Psychology of Self-Injury. It had theorized, "Those who try to commit suicide actually want someone to save them. They want want someone to listen to what they have to say, so try and listen to them with a kind demeanor, as gently as possible, without chiming in with any sort of negative comments."

Final Chapter: Welcome to the N.H.K.! (226-236)

(Note: The chapter finally ends with it being Spring and Satou reads postcards that came from Yamazaki and Misaki while remembering how that fateful night ended after he failed to attempt suicide and Satou and Misaki continued on with their lives.)

First Afterword (236-240)
(December, 2001)

Second Afterword (240-244)
(April, 2005)