Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."
The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Grace'."
The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal.. When he enters a room everyone says 'Your Eminence'."
The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"
She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breast, 24" waist and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God."
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A student failed in law and decided to make a deal with professor.
Sir, do you know everything about law?
Professor: Yes.
Student: If you can answer this question, I will accept my final marks, if you can't, you have to give me "A".
The Professor agreed.
Boy asked, "What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal & neither legal nor logical?"
The Professor thought about it for hours & pondered but no answer. He finally had to give up as he really did not know and he gave the boy an "A".
The following day, professor asked same question to his students.
He was shocked when all of them raised their hands. He asked one student.
The student answered "Sir, you are 65, married to 28 years old woman, this is legal but not logical. Your wife, is having an affair with a 23 year old boy, this is logical but not legal. Your wife's boyfriend has failed in his exam and yet you have given him an "A", this is neither logical nor legal."
The professor collapsed...
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A family is at the dinner table.The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many Kinds of boobs are there?' The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, a woman goes through three Phases. In her 20s, a woman's boobs are like melons, round and firm. In Her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.. After 50, they are like onions'. 'Onions?' Yes, you see them and they make you cry. This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said, 'Mom, how Many kinds of 'willies' are there?' The mother, surprised, smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through Three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and Hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree. 'A Christmas tree?' 'Yes --- dead from the roots up and the balls are just for decoration'!
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Boy: Hey, baby, did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Me: Are you implying I'm Satan?
Boy: What? No, I-
Me: Because you're right, I am.
insane chocolatelover Community Member 
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