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A few days ago I felt my personal horror move and take over me again. My eyes were double coated with tears and it felt like my legs were covered in barbed wire. When every time I walked it hurt I felt like i was bleeding nonsense in a place full of people that felt so far away. And the only thing connecting me to them was a bloodline so thick, It suffocated me. I can't stand it. I hate laughing when I just want to cry. That moment when I laugh then I look away to the floor where my arms are reaching out to. Like their ready for my fall and the cut that will free the heavy weight inside my heart that drowns my conscious. Like a butterfly tied to a ton of bricks.

I feel like will have no where to go when I'm older then move out. Because heart is where the home is. And I feel no heart will this home is.