Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

Lana's thoughts
...
Oh hi mind,
I'm back again,
It's a split personality that hurts me so,
It's like my pathetic side,
And my hatred, sorrow and pain,
The things I deny,
All over again.

I feel like Gollem?
Or am I Smeagal?
I feel the vile things come into my brain

Again,
I need help,
I can't face that truth,

Blinded,
By pride,
Ignorance
and the weight I've always carried

I wanna just kinda hide,
Sorrowful,
Sad,
Does he actually ever think?

I really wonder me.
Oh? You tell me?
Every doubt I had was true?
I beg to differ.... No, please stop..
Don't tell me....
Don't hurt me again...
Stop telling me about him!
He wasn't true, but this one is...
I swear it!
No... I'm not as good as her,
Nor are we on the same level of understanding,
But..
Please...
Just let me keep trust,
Let me have trust....
Just this once...

Maybe... Maybe I'll just leave everyone..
Maybe then the pain will stop,
The doubts,
The fear,
The memories...
Maybe they'll all fade,
Like paper,
So fragile,
So thin,

Maybe if I'll disappear,
Everyone will be happier...
I know they'll say I;m crazy,
Hell my boyfriend's already said I need help...
But...

My mind....
I guess...
I don't want to...
I can't say it anymore...

Hurt,
Emotionally, pained to the core...
I can't...
I don't...
"Let's see if we can make an emo cry"
I can't cry,
Please,
Stop,
I can't feel it anymore,
I'm numbed to the pain,
The sting of each slap,
I want to cry,
The pain hurts in my head,
throbbing,

Arms,
Red,
Unmoved,
Tingling.

Eyes,
Dry,
Numb,
Spaced,

I can't move...
I can't run...
I don't want to run,
If I make it through this,
Then maybe I'll be brave.
Maybe i won't hate myself as much as I do...
As the scars on my legs,
Remind me I won't....





 
 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum