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The Story
So it all started with my co-hort Blackie Chan. He set me up gig, at the grand canyon. The job was juuming on a moped. I found the junkiest thing I could, and rode that thing to the other side. Physics was there, he wasn't happy. He told it was impossilbe. I told, nothing's impossibe if you don't have logic. He scowled at me, and walked. So travelled to middle America, and tracked me a sasquatch. I found him, curled up in some cave in the middle of summer somewhere in the mountains in Michigan. He piled drived me 6 feet under. I went to Hell thanks to physics. I stayed there for a while and took a vacation. The spas there are very nice. Later that week, I had a fiddle battle with the Devil. I cheated though, and whipped out a guitar. I rocked in the Devil's house and he let me go. I came back to life and dug myself out of my grave. I shaved Sas like a poodle. That's why he hasn't been seen in a while. I tracked Waldo down to France. He was trafficking drugs. He thought he disappeared, but little did he know, I see in Infrared. I tackled him, beat the tar out of him, then left him for the French Police. I got depressed, and started chasing aAnimals on Animal Planet. Randomly, I'd appear while people were filming, and tackle the animals, then eat them. After a while, I went to Japan on spring break. It was there I met God-Zilla. I fought him with only a sledge hammer. I won too. Later that day, we went out for tea. Afterwards, I took a trip to Australia to visit a friend. While I was there, I hunted the Bunyip with my bare fists in the middle of the swamps. I wore it's skin around Australia, parading around. Afterwards, I donated it to Melvin Museum and left for America again. Upon reaching America, I fought Bruce Lee and won, easily. A week later, Jet Li challenged me as well. I beat him too. A minute later, Chuck Norris found me, and Round House kicked me to Heaven. It was in Heaven, I boxed Muhamid Al Lee. I won that too with my signature Wind Up.
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