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heart This is just a rant...Or a complaint area...Thing. It's because I could. I wanted to see it and I wanted to see if I could. Since it's here. I did do it. So ha. Looks awesome, doesn't it? Ok. Onto the warning. Mild language and a lot of bitchiness. Why? Because that's just me. You no like? You no go further. Ok. Onto the iffiness. Ps: I can and prolly will still be adding to this. I have most of everything dated. So, it's more like a very public and angry journal. It's been going on for over a year now....
Started 4/8/10- God it's awesome to be ignored, isn't it, Mr. Wall? Mr. Wall? Mr. Wall? Oh come on! Not you too. Damn you Mr. Wall. Why do you have to be like everyone else, ignoring me like I don't exist. So what if my art sucks. So what if I don't really know you. It's the point of gaia. You know, making friends. But no, you go and continue ignoring me like you are now. Yeah, be that way b***h. I can talk to myself if I have to. I don't even need Mr. Wall. I don't need anybody! Well, I need some MythicalYokos every now and again, but she doesn't ignore me like you jerks do. Meet new people, jerks! What am I? A new person! Talk to me! I'm trying to talk to you so you should at least give a nod. Humph! I have been improving, though. In my art, I mean. I draw better on larger paper and what not. Hand still shake to hell. I have trouble with proportions, but who doesn't? Really? No one? Yeah, didn't think so. Ok. This is just the start of this soon to be epic rant...Just have to go find something else to rant about. Yay! Not really a rant, but still. A chat sort of thing with myself. Or with Mr.Wall.-glares- Bad, Mr.Wall, bad! Anyways, I hopefully will be getting a job tomorrow! April 9th, 2010. My very first job interview with a guy named Floyd. For a McDonald's job, but still. It's a job and it'll get me off my a**. It takes about 20 minutes for me to walk to where I will be working. It's even shorter if I ride my bike, but it be Washington. It'll rain at some point. I think I would be getting about minimum wage, but eh. Money be money, right? Oooh, song rant now!~Still Counting, Volbeat~Soldier Side, System of a down~Corner of your heart, Ingrid Michaelson.~ Don't forget, Demi Lovato.~Impossible, Shontelle.~ What do you want from me, Adam Lambert. Added 9/26/10- ooooh, I forgot I added songs to make some more length in this thing. Hopefully as time goes by I'll end up taking them out because I won't need them. I have ideas and I ramble them. I like doing things like this just for fun. It gives me something to do and if no one ever reads it, ok. If someone does, well, good luck to you, dude. So, I don't have much to ramble about right now, I have for the last couple of days wanted to add to this. And now I am. Yay. I wish to post this in the actual forums one day just to see how many people actually read it. Right now it's in my journal, soo. Yeah. I also just decided that I should add what dates I update this thing one. Smart, no? Want to know what I did today? A little bit? No? None? Well, I'm telling you anyway. I finally went through all of my writing papers and have a semi-system with them now. I can actually look at a pill and go, "Oh! That's this story idea and that one's just a bunch of papers. That's another story idea and that one too." Ek. Ok. I could make this my Na month thingy. It's been so long since I thought about writing in a while. It's nice. I wish I could formulate my ideas better. I think I could write some pretty nice things, then. But no, I have to be a word coward. Or a word lover, I should say. I use too big words with out truly knowing what they are sometimes. I also love detail...A lot. of detail. ~sigh~ Ah, well, who cares? No one is really ever going to read anything. Just small a** print in red in the Chatterbox or something. Bah-hum-bug. I'm 19 now. Still have to lose weight to join the navy. Though, I really am losing now, finally. That number just wouldn't go down for like, two months. Thank you weight watchers. I hate you McDonald's. I hate working there. s**t hours, s**t pay, s**t costumers, s**t managers...Not so shitty fellow employees. They aren't so bad. Too bad most of the good ones are quiting. There is one, though, that I would just LOVE to shove her head into the fry vat. I've actually imaged myself doing it too. Know it all b***h that she is. She had been there only two weeks, me four months and she had the nerve to say to me, "I know how to do my job." in that whorey way when I just mentioned to her that she shouldn't be doing something that obviously she shouldn't. She'd of known that if she ACTUALLY knew her job like she said. Stupid, stupid little girl. It's a mcdonald's job for christ's sake! How damn stupid do you have to be?(apparently this stupid) Man...Pumpkins. I love them. It's almost october...YAY! Pumpkins, pumpkins, pumpy-pumpy-pumkins! I have a thing for them if you couldn't tell already. I like to eat them, see them and smell them. They is so good to me. They're making me like the color orange to a whole new level. It's really weird, but it's cool. I am adding the pumpkin fetish to my Joker(the one from Batman and only that one. I hate "clowns" LOVE JOKER) fetish. They mix so well. Hmmm~~~Oh! I'm an aunty now, too. She's five weeks and one day today. She is so pretty and inherited the family gas trait. The burps and farts that come out of that little child...Good lord, you wouldn't of thunk it. Her name's Naomi. Ok. I'm running out of things to say and I have to get up early tomorrow for work. Ok. Laters! Added 6/26/11- I know, it's been nearly a year, but I still remember you. A lot of s**t has gone down since I began this. I've lost weight. Gained it back. And I'm finally going down again. I do have to warn you now that I am going to be adding songs after this rant...I don't feel like a rant. I feel more like a chat or like an informative paragraph. So, yeah...Songs! I love them. I'm currently working getting better at writing while I'm working on my weight. I'm finally getting closer to the Navy at least. Been keeping my room clean...er. Reading. Rping. Whatever, really. La. I think I should do that music... Yes. I am. Aah. I have to go pee first. BERAHBE......BACK! Ok. I wanna make my own rp, too. Like one where I'm the only one posting and what not. I got it pretty much started. Just looks weird and sounds really bad. I can fix it. I have to remember that. I think that's why I have issues writing. I hate what I write, but I don't just go back and fix it. I feel like it's permanent(thank you dictionary.com!) as so as the words leave my finger tips. But it isn't. It can't ever be permanent. Everything can change at any given moment. For good. Or for bad. ~sigh~ Music lyrics now. ARGH! Smells like alcohol up in here.XD Nah. Just bleach. Switch topics a lot. Aaha...I don't think I could ever post this in an actual forum anymore. I have no idea what I've said or anything. I just don't want to sort through it to make sure it goes with the TOS...Of which I need to reread. I will someday. When everything gets better. Music helps. Always does. Hate being sick. Cough so much and sneeze. Ack. Ps: You really freaking reading this? You MUST be bored as hell. Anyways, seriously, now music(if I do go back and take music out, it'll just be the lyrics part. I gotta set up a system for thats.). ~ Drop the world - LIL' WAYNE~ Till I Collapse - Eminem.~Once in a life time - Wolfsheim.~like a knife - Secondhand Serenade.~ Fall for you - Secondhand Serenade~The truth beneath the Rose - Within Temptation.~All the things she said - TaTu.~ Masterpiece 3 - Marianas Trench.~ Mine again - Black Lab.~ Dangerous and Moving - TaTu. Added 7/08/11....Yes. So, I will be able to post this in the chatterbox...AFTER I take out the lyrics. Mainly because of the song lyrics(Eminem and Lil' Wayne namely). But I will leave up the original rant in my journal and link it. I'll try to remember to publicize it. Using a new monitor right now. It be awesome. I can actually see everything. I also figured out that system for the songs. Yay, me. Anyways. I play wow. Yep. I mean, I go now to play wow. Very short rant update, no? WALL OF TEXT!XD. Added 7/25/11...I read something that made me cry today. I know it's not hard to do and all, but really...It made me realize I haven't been living at all, that I'm not...I don't know. Am I heartless? Is that why I don't really feel anything? Or am I just too dependent on other people's feelings? All my best friends, were never really my best friends. To them I was always just a friend. They always had someone they treasured more. Always. I'm just so sick of this. I've spent so much time trying to be someone else and help others that I don't know who I could be anymore. I'm not going anywhere because of it. I need to be alone. Like out in the woods or something. Away from my family, society. In a log cabin like famous writers sometimes do. Kinda like a hermit. Everyone is just so demanding. Needy is more like it. One thing after another with them. It will get better. I'll make it happen. Because I can. Because I will. I will find myself one day, all by myself. Because I don't need anyone else if I can just find me. Added 8/02/11... In a lot better of a mood today. Feel like doing math lately, too. I'm trying this egg facial mask thing right now. Can't speak with it on. Makes my skin feel tight has hell. I find myself listening to music non-stop. Mainly Nicki Minaj and Eminem. Great combo, they make. Almost time to peal the mask. After I peal it, I'm going to use the egg yolk as a moisturizer. At least, see how well it does it. Been watching Yu-Gi-Oh the abridged series too. Awesome. DBZ abridged...Nearly s**t myself with laughter. Made me fall in love with Vegeta all over again. Ghost Nappa! Going to pause in a moment or two to peal this thing off. Look almost like a ghost. Makes my face twitch. Been wanting to clear out my inventory, too. Not sure how I want to do it either. I want to get down to 500 items. That would be nice. Thing is that I love switching up my outfit too often to give up everything like that. Want to try, though.Ok. Going to go peal this thing and then start...Just babbling on here. I want at least half a page soon. Added 8/04/11... OK. I didn't get to babble after that couple a days ago. I get to do so now, though. Because I can. Because I'm my own b***h. Not yours. Or more specifically, my mother's and sister's. I'm even figuring out that I can work out in the morning and evening. It just got to do it. Mainly my problem with it before was that someone else always has planned things with me with out ever talking to me about it. They just assume. I'm fully confident now to tell them no. No, I don't feel like babysitting your baby because you want to go out an drink. No, I don't want to go to the store with you, I have to go to bed in three hours and god forbid you make the trip in just two hours, even. Guh. I love this confidence. I don't have to do what they say anymore. I freaking twenty for gods sake! I may still live with my mother because financially I can't get my a** out of here, but personally, and legally I might add, I am an adult. I got my times to work out and I'mma stick with them, because it be my schedule, ya know? It's not like I'm not working. Tish. And it's not like I'm going out and partying and need controlled to stop it. I would just like my time to work out and relax on here. More of my time that I get to myself, the more weight I can lose. More weight I can lose, quicker I can get out of here, and just join the Navy. Yeah, beeeach. Do this. Anyways, babble time!( ps, also selling stuffs will I'm typing this.) Tacos. What is up with Army males, ages 20-freaking 40, going through McDonalds drive through, asking for tacos? It's not funny. Just plain annoying. And a sandwhich is not plain if it's ketchup only, Seriously. Oh, yeah. I get paid tomorrow. Have to pay the rest of my rent, then, too. 120 dollars. Sister owes me 20 bucks, too. The loan came out of my rent money. Eh. Store full. Darn. It's nice to know that I haven't posted any song lyrics in a while. I think I'll just type what I'm listening to at the moment, though. I like the idea. Massive Attack - Nicki Minaj. Really love the beat on it. And the flow. Goes really nicely. Want to go play Halo or Dead Space....I'm thinking Dead Space. I'm liking out creepy it is. It fantastic. Buy my stuff so I can finish selling the rest of it! It's cheap as hell...Harhar...Screw the rules, I have money! I wish. Should try the lotto again. Just because. Song switch. Roman's Revenge - Nicki Minaj Ft. Eminem. It's beautiful. The combo of those two is just awesome. Both are just so weird and their own person that it's perfect. I wish they would make more songs together. Truly. I think I have about twenty bucks in the bank. I'm so broke. Ah. What I get for loaning money. I get no more sweets any more. I'm cut off, damn it. Need to be at least. Need to drink green tea a lot more. Yes. Another song change. Did it on 'em - Nicki Minaj. When I first heard it, I was actively wondering whether or not I liked it. Then, I listened just one more time and figured out that yes, I did like it. The beat and just Nicki worked with it. So catchy. You're probably bored with me now. Probably. If you are, go away, I ain't forcing you to read this. Neeh. If you're still here...Thanks. No, thank you very much. Two song changes while I was adding the introduction...Opening? Whatever. Save me - Nicki Minaj. Love it so much. Swear. Moment 4 life - Nicki Minaj. Really like this one, too. At some point in this rant, I'm going to look up that word in a moment to make sure I'm using it right, I'll just be typing whatever pops into my head. Sooo...Be extra warned. Never know what's going on in there. song change. Knockout - Lil Wayne Ft. Nicki Minaj. Listened to just this song for a week straight, got sick of it, another week later, listened again and it was great all over again. Adding a lot to this today. Nice! Should go work out soon. Hmm. Feel like I'm forgetting something. Ah, well. YES! I'm going to read a little bit. I read the translation of 1/2 Prince and The legend of the Sun Knight. By what's her name. It's awesome. I post link in a moment. Insert shameless advertisement of their site. Please support the author and translators! I will as soon as I have money...Which will prolly be in about a year. Oh, snap. I wonder with the economy will be like then. Seems like it's going to chit now. I'll be reading this when I'm like...Twenty-six and find it either stupid or weird or both or something. I wonder how I will change. I'd like to know...Song change. Sexy back - Justin Timberlake. You can thank Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series for this one. And Duke Devlin. So sexy. Another one. 2012 - Jay Sean Ft. Nicki Minaj. Love it. Can't wait for next year either. Or 2013. It'll be so funny. Anyways, linkage! Prince Revolution So shameless. No reason to be either. I don't get anything out of it other then more people to talk about it with. Ah! I remember. Dictionary.com....Ok. Here we are. Rant- verb (used without object) 1. To speak or declaim extravagantly or violently; talk in a wild or vehement way; rave: The demagogue ranted for hours. verb (used with object) 2. To utter or declaim in a ranting manner. noun 3. Ranting, extravagant, or violent declamation. 4.a ranting utterance. Hmm. I think I am using it right. Mainly the "Talk in a wild or vehement way" sort of right...And some people would say my way of talking...typing/writing is a bit violent. At least, the way I mean it....Ok. It's what I say, so frick off. I'm actually on my best behavior on here right now. On this thing. I am a bit more colorful with my words than I put on. The f-bomb every other word, mostly. Shoot, two song changes from when I looked that up. Skyscraper - Demi Lovato. Beautiful. And now, finally, Lighters - Bruno Mars, Eminem, and Royce '59. All of them as the artists because I can't tell who's it mainly is. And I don't care. Just love the song. Ok, Time to save this thing and check my shop. Ok. I be done for now. Added 8/05/11... Work was actually the best part of my day. Never happened before. It seems to be too much to ask for the simple things to work. Like a 360 actually reading a disk that has no damage whatsoever. Or connecting to the internet on it. Nooo. Someone has to password it and ******** leave. I understand someone was probably stealing the interwebs from us, but of all the s**t you do. I am so sick of them. They break everything they touch that is not theirs. And if they don't break it, they take it over, completely. I mean, really. This may be your home, but it is NOT your house. Not your stuff. Not your ******** money. Want to know why? Cause you don't even have a damn job. You have been here for ten ******** months. Nothing. You went and got nada. You want to lord your "l33t" skillz over mine? Go get a job. Now. Or move the ******** out and leave my s**t. Tish. Your dad's so rich, eh? Why the hell are you living with off of your step-mother and father? Go to that fantastic father of yours, you lazy, sleazy, punk-a** b***h.Breathe in, breathe out....OK. I feel a little better now. I need the sun back. It made everything better. Would like my stuff organized, too. And put away. In my room. Where people can't steal it. I don't even remember what else I'm missing. This is driving me insane. Doesn't help I just spent 80 bucks on nothing today.Candy isn't even helping. Also a first. Music will, though. It soothes the soul. And please pardon my French. I meant it yesterday when I said I was on my best behavior on here before. I even refrained from adding a few more f-bombs. Hmmm. Ok, going to do that "whatever pops into my head thing" I wanted to do. Added 8/09/11... Go figure, it did not happen again. I will for sure do so today. Yesterday, work sucked. Bad. I'm done. I'll leave it soon enough. Any whos, what to rant about today... I don't actually feel like ranting, just babbling. So, got my items down near 800. Yay! Lower, but still not that low. Just bored. Hmm. I'll try selling off most of my zOMG crap items for really cheap. Should knock down my items number by 50. Lala. Added 8/18/11... So much drama going on. My mom has to quit her work or she'll kill herself off quicker than ever. Then she has to take the time and the money to go to physical rehab to lose some weight or, again, kill she'll herself off quicker. I need to save to get a car, so I can start working where my mom it at right now. If I can do that, I could start clearing about 2K monies a month after tax. Hellova lot better than the maybe $800 a month I make now at McD's. Brother in law is also trying to get a job there. He should have gone in today, but I haven't heard anything from them. Don't quite care as long as they GTFO. My dad is now(has been) over working himself. He's starting to get bitcher everyday, for obvious reasons. Now, our bathroom floor is rotting, so now we have to spend about $2,500 and a week of our time(mainly my dad's, but I'll be attempting to help) to fix it. Along with that, we also might(pretty sure) we're losing the house come January. But that is something my parents need to work out. Le sigh. At least we got new phones this week. And I don't have to pay rent next month, either, so, the just about $1,000 dollars(for 3 paychecks) I'm partly sure I'll be making can so straight to savings for that car. As soon as I got $3,000 I'm going to go buy a $1,000-2,000 car. The rest will be for insurance. Not going to really buy food anymore, because I need the savings. I have plenty to eat and whatnot. When I get the job at my mom's I'll go into training for 6 weeks and I think two weeks after that you get your very first paycheck from them. Long a** time. But, still. If you're good at your work there, you can make up to $14 an hour. And they allow overtime. In fact, there is mandatory overtime. Awesome. I'm not giving up on the Navy, but I worry it might not happen anyways. I don't think I have the full drive for it. It might just be that I need to not focus on the weightloss and just let it happen....I feel that if I do that, though, that I'll run out of time. Aa. Life. You are so...so...so challenging...Added 8/21/11... Indeed, you are challenging, but I'm still pretty mean. I'll get you done. Been wanting to update this more and more. I want that page! Also just remembered that I have a lotto going on. I'll re-look over everything tomorrow to see how much I have to fix so I can start it up again. Also feel that I can post this in the chatterbox soon. I honestly don't care if anyone reads this. Heh, if I truly meant that, I would not be thinking about posting it up, would I? I guess it's just my way of trying to get attention. I don't mind. I'll just do it anyways and think about it later. Seems to be how I do things anyways. I have a...story? Not really sure what to call it, thing going on with the list of rules for an evil overlord. Like, I have the character and some of the plot down(so I guess it would be a story, but kinda like a just freak it story) but not the way I want to write it. I think I need to just write it how I feel like. Then go back later and fix anything that's a bit off. Or add stuff, or subtract...Ah. I'll be adding it to here because I can. Feel like doing that "whatever pops into my head" rant too. Hmmm. Alright. I'll start with the poster I coincidentally bought. The "how to survive a zombie attack!" one. Rule #1: Home is where the hatchet is. Uh, yeah. Wasn't there a movie called "hatchet"? Create a home base with plenty of weapons - The sharper, the better. Umm, yeah. Didn't everyone know that? I mean, even my parents got that down. We have at least ten Jess (a really good sword-maker here in Washington) blades around the house. They may be a little dusty, but Jess rarely makes duller than the sharpest of sharp. Rules #2: Watch the expiration dates. Dude. Didn't everyone also know about this one? Really? Stockpile food and water for long periods of time. Canned food is good. Junk food is even better. Hmm. Yes, yes. I do get it now. The worse it is for you, the longer it can last. Rule #3: Knock knock. Who's there? Hehehe. Who's there?(guh, lame. ;P) A zombie! Be sure to create a strong entry and exit door. Barricade all doors and windows. Go figure... Rule #4: Your mom. No seriously, your mom. Trust no one - not even your mom.(Even if your friends think she is hot.) Hmm. Ok. I'll try to follow that one.(not. I'll be the first to die) Rule #5: Have a burning desire. Ooh. Pyro! Zombies hate fire. Learn to make fire with everyday objects. Ah...What about with a toothbrush? Rule #6: Wear protection. Remember your rubber! Avoid all zombie body fluids. Yuck! Ooh. THAT'S what you meant. Rule #7: Wear sunglasses. At night. A nice pair of shades always looks cool and will protect your eyes. Yep. Gotta keep them suckers protected. Zombies love eyes second best. Rule #8: Run for your life. Because more than not, it will be. Stay fit and fast. Most zombies run like the chubby kind in your third grade class. Uhh, what about the ones from 28 days later? Rule # 9: Batter up. For baseball? Zombie down. Keep a large, blunt object nearby and ready to swing at all times. A bat, crowbar or sturdy tree limb usually works nicely. Aaah. So you don't have to use all of your ammo. Rule #10: No brain, no pain. No, nothing either. Decapitating a zombie is best but kind of gross. Key is to destroy the brain stem. Aah. Yes. Like with an ice pick. Rule #11: Beware of Bush. Bush? Aah, but, he's only a C student... Stay clear of bushes and shrubbery in general. Because of the Knights of Nii. Rule # 12: Stagger and drool. OK. I already do that. Am I good? Learn to stagger, lumber, and drool. Many zombies think you're one of them. Just pretend you're a gym teacher. Heey. I think I just found my callling. Rule #13: Cliche is okay. I think at that point it doesn't matter. Always check closets and under beds before relaxing in front if the tv. Don't want your time with southpark cut in by some zombie p***k. Rule #14: Boobies are good. Why, yes. Yes they are. Set up booby traps as warnings and alerts. Trip wires and ratting cans are a good idea. Totally. And don't just ignore them, either. I know people out there that would. Rule #15: Slipper knobs. Ah...No comment.... Try putting Vaseline on doorknobs. Zombies get frustrated. I bet they would. Rule #16: Nice to meat you. Oooh. Clever... Always leave raw meat out in the open to distract zombies. Better they eat it than you. I'm sure I wouldn't taste good anyways. Rule #17: Always wash your hands. You've been killing zombies with those things... Hey. Maybe your mom was right! Of course she was. See the rules of the house. Rule #18: Objects in mirrors. Are closer than they seem. Check backseats before buckling in. Wouldn't want nothing to happen, right? Rule #19: Don't get mauled. Oh, l. o. l. Avoid populated areas like shopping malls and movie theaters. To a zombie, those are an all-you-can-eat buffet. Avoid those, too. Though, I'm sure most of the zombies there would be fat. Rule # 20: Go all the way. After all, re-population has to happen sometime. A wounded zombie is not a dead zombie. Double tap. Very important. Ok, that was the rules, but I'm tired now, so, I'm off to sleep. NIGHT! PS: the red burns the eyes...Added 8/22/11...This is my outlet. This is my pen. My savior. I do this so I don't break. It is my s.o.s... Added 07/23/12...I am amazed. I haven't updated this is like...Almost a year. So much happened. Eldest sister had a baby boy. Gabe, so cute with his cheese face. He's almost a year now. Naomi is almost two years now. Quit McDonald's. Wanting to quit the job I have now. Just can't take the stupid crap. Worst part is that not everything is so bad. Just so pessimistic with everything that it just makes me want to shoot my own brain to make it stop. Not that I ever would, coward that I am. Problem is life. What would be more cowardly? Killing yourself or not? Everything can be twisted and twisted until you have no idea what the hell is going on anymore. Like you are stuck in a plugged up toilet with no way out. Not even a plunger to suck you out. Such a nasty analogy. No way around it. When you get in a slump, it's...Who knows? Death in the family is oddly hard. Never had it before. Do you cling to the people around you for help or do you just deal? Neither sounds like a great option. Nothing does. If you cling too much, you are too needy. You don't cling at all and you just a heartless b***h. Don't cry at a funeral for a family member, or hell, at all, you're still heartless. How to heck do you deal? Barely knew him. How should I feel? Weep like a p***y or shrug it off like I don't give a crap? Worst part is that I really don't feel anything. Absolutely nothing. My own flesh and blood, but I just want to walk away...Man, I'm a real piece of crap...Someone should just flush the toilet...I know it sounds suicidal, too. "Oh, don't do it!" or "Let's talk it out." Just stupid. IT's not suicidal. I'm writing it down to get it out. If I didn't, I'd be homicidal, not suicidal. I hate people. That's why. When I'm alone, I don't have to care about anything. Not even me. With other people, they just demand so much attention...Hmm. Question is, is it that I just don't care or that I care too much?## I just read over what I've already said before. I was so into this job before it started. Then...Yeah. I really do hate people. Why the ******** am I in customer service? And it was a bad idea not to focus on weight. I gained ten pounds working at this call center. I would feel so much better if I just leave....I wanna say that's true, but it's not. Stress will just be replaced with a different kind of stress. And if you are still reading this, I am amazed. Even after all those misspellings and confusing statements that I could have totally just corrected and made easier to read? Damn. I'm not sure who is more bored/crazy... Me or you? Why the hell are you still reading this? This glorified b***h page in tiny a** print? Do you hate yourself? Probably not more than me...I am the one writing this....Ah. I'll leave this for now. I have links to remind me. I'll be trying it more to make this longer and make myself feel better. I feel like a weak little b***h that complains too much. And this is proof, isn't it? Yes, yes it is. Sorry for the negativity, but I do have a warning....Added 10/12/12... So, yesh. I tried fixing up my lotto only to find out, multiple times, I can't seem to log into the mule account. Suckage. I can't tell if it's the password or not. I'll try fixing it the hard way. Through email. Ewww. My avatar now is a dude. Kinda funny. I guess. I like making it look as gay as possible. Now, I'm going to try what I have wanted to do on here for the longest time. Just type whatever pops into my head. Yay. I've been obsessing over one piece lately. Re-read the death of Ace and on wards. Went to the eye doctor yesterday. I how have to use this tear drop stuff, "Refresh optive sensitive", stuff. Apparently have some erosion going on on my eye. Get new glasses in a week, too. Broke my old pair over a year ago. Searching hard for jobs. Just found a listing that would be for a book store. Sounds fantastic for me. Also applied for unemployment. Need to pay car insurance. Sucks. Still working on the weight loss. Still wanting to join the Navy. Prolly never going to happen because I seem to just be so ingrained into being lazy. It's cold in this house. All the time. Like 65 degrees cold. Mom says it's always hot. What the hell? Really? 65? In a house? That's a cold. Luckily, I have gloves and a winter jacket. Then I just go for a walk to warm up even more. Man, if I just exercise and eat less, I could drop this weight. If only I could stay motivated. Almost like this rant thing. Just complete a little and have it still be progress and not recesses. I wanna type something...Like a book, but eh. What ones?! Should just grab the books around me and type the 3rd paragraph from the 75th page....I wonder if I could do that with manga too...Ok! Books it is then. The first one be, Smoke and Shadows, By Tanya Huff. Good book. Even have a fanficiton planned from it. Pretty much a "what if" fiction. Will work on it after a few others I got. Eh. The first sentence is " 'Please.' ". Eh. Weird. Next one! "This time the shrug was pure disdain." I don't really remember this part. Should reread the whole book. " 'From her angle I'm just another guy, and there's no shortage of guys around this neighborhood." Tons of men it is. "The gym on the second floor of the hotel is one of the best cruising spots in the city." Speaking from experience? "She's not going to expect us;she thinks I'm still completely ******** clueless.' " Pardon the language. But you should understand it by now. Added 04/29/13... Still here? Damn. And I have yet to get a full page going. Should type more random stuff. Why am I still doing this? Oh, because I want to see the look of it. And it's like a diary. A really, really dumb one.Added ??/??/??... Have you ever had someone who would not shut the ******** up and let you work? Like, I want to work on writing right now, but my roommate won't stop ******** talking to me. I get that what she is saying is important. I really do. I normally talk to her a lot and it is really normal for us. It's just, since we became roommates, we have talked nonstop everyday for almost a year. Especially since covid became a dumbass thing. However, I work for the post office now. I literally get home after nine to thirteen hours away from home. Then she doesn't stop talking unless she isn't there. So, taking that into account, if I try to go to bed at 9pm, after I get home at 5 to 7, that is 4 to 2 hours of her just talking at me that takes my mental consideration. Extra problem, is that I don't try to go to bed at 9 because she won't shut up enough for me to even say that I need to get to bed. I typically get to bed at midnight. That makes it 7 to 5 hours a ******** day, 7 days a week of her talking. It's a literal job in of itself. I need to move out on my own man. She is one of my best friends. I think I am just more of a loner than she is. That and she works from home. She has the freedom to do everything she wants to do. She chooses to have a job outside the house. I got no option. So when most of that time is spent having to listen/talk to her as well....When the ******** can I do anything on my own? I barely do. I am just complaining right now. Haven't thought of this thing in so long, but I do want to keep it going. I am going to be 30 next week. I moved states. I am now in Arizona. I feel alone when I know I am not, but....I just want things to change for the better...added 05/26/2021...
Started 4/8/10- God it's awesome to be ignored, isn't it, Mr. Wall? Mr. Wall? Mr. Wall? Oh come on! Not you too. Damn you Mr. Wall. Why do you have to be like everyone else, ignoring me like I don't exist. So what if my art sucks. So what if I don't really know you. It's the point of gaia. You know, making friends. But no, you go and continue ignoring me like you are now. Yeah, be that way b***h. I can talk to myself if I have to. I don't even need Mr. Wall. I don't need anybody! Well, I need some MythicalYokos every now and again, but she doesn't ignore me like you jerks do. Meet new people, jerks! What am I? A new person! Talk to me! I'm trying to talk to you so you should at least give a nod. Humph! I have been improving, though. In my art, I mean. I draw better on larger paper and what not. Hand still shake to hell. I have trouble with proportions, but who doesn't? Really? No one? Yeah, didn't think so. Ok. This is just the start of this soon to be epic rant...Just have to go find something else to rant about. Yay! Not really a rant, but still. A chat sort of thing with myself. Or with Mr.Wall.-glares- Bad, Mr.Wall, bad! Anyways, I hopefully will be getting a job tomorrow! April 9th, 2010. My very first job interview with a guy named Floyd. For a McDonald's job, but still. It's a job and it'll get me off my a**. It takes about 20 minutes for me to walk to where I will be working. It's even shorter if I ride my bike, but it be Washington. It'll rain at some point. I think I would be getting about minimum wage, but eh. Money be money, right? Oooh, song rant now!~Still Counting, Volbeat~Soldier Side, System of a down~Corner of your heart, Ingrid Michaelson.~ Don't forget, Demi Lovato.~Impossible, Shontelle.~ What do you want from me, Adam Lambert. Added 9/26/10- ooooh, I forgot I added songs to make some more length in this thing. Hopefully as time goes by I'll end up taking them out because I won't need them. I have ideas and I ramble them. I like doing things like this just for fun. It gives me something to do and if no one ever reads it, ok. If someone does, well, good luck to you, dude. So, I don't have much to ramble about right now, I have for the last couple of days wanted to add to this. And now I am. Yay. I wish to post this in the actual forums one day just to see how many people actually read it. Right now it's in my journal, soo. Yeah. I also just decided that I should add what dates I update this thing one. Smart, no? Want to know what I did today? A little bit? No? None? Well, I'm telling you anyway. I finally went through all of my writing papers and have a semi-system with them now. I can actually look at a pill and go, "Oh! That's this story idea and that one's just a bunch of papers. That's another story idea and that one too." Ek. Ok. I could make this my Na month thingy. It's been so long since I thought about writing in a while. It's nice. I wish I could formulate my ideas better. I think I could write some pretty nice things, then. But no, I have to be a word coward. Or a word lover, I should say. I use too big words with out truly knowing what they are sometimes. I also love detail...A lot. of detail. ~sigh~ Ah, well, who cares? No one is really ever going to read anything. Just small a** print in red in the Chatterbox or something. Bah-hum-bug. I'm 19 now. Still have to lose weight to join the navy. Though, I really am losing now, finally. That number just wouldn't go down for like, two months. Thank you weight watchers. I hate you McDonald's. I hate working there. s**t hours, s**t pay, s**t costumers, s**t managers...Not so shitty fellow employees. They aren't so bad. Too bad most of the good ones are quiting. There is one, though, that I would just LOVE to shove her head into the fry vat. I've actually imaged myself doing it too. Know it all b***h that she is. She had been there only two weeks, me four months and she had the nerve to say to me, "I know how to do my job." in that whorey way when I just mentioned to her that she shouldn't be doing something that obviously she shouldn't. She'd of known that if she ACTUALLY knew her job like she said. Stupid, stupid little girl. It's a mcdonald's job for christ's sake! How damn stupid do you have to be?(apparently this stupid) Man...Pumpkins. I love them. It's almost october...YAY! Pumpkins, pumpkins, pumpy-pumpy-pumkins! I have a thing for them if you couldn't tell already. I like to eat them, see them and smell them. They is so good to me. They're making me like the color orange to a whole new level. It's really weird, but it's cool. I am adding the pumpkin fetish to my Joker(the one from Batman and only that one. I hate "clowns" LOVE JOKER) fetish. They mix so well. Hmmm~~~Oh! I'm an aunty now, too. She's five weeks and one day today. She is so pretty and inherited the family gas trait. The burps and farts that come out of that little child...Good lord, you wouldn't of thunk it. Her name's Naomi. Ok. I'm running out of things to say and I have to get up early tomorrow for work. Ok. Laters! Added 6/26/11- I know, it's been nearly a year, but I still remember you. A lot of s**t has gone down since I began this. I've lost weight. Gained it back. And I'm finally going down again. I do have to warn you now that I am going to be adding songs after this rant...I don't feel like a rant. I feel more like a chat or like an informative paragraph. So, yeah...Songs! I love them. I'm currently working getting better at writing while I'm working on my weight. I'm finally getting closer to the Navy at least. Been keeping my room clean...er. Reading. Rping. Whatever, really. La. I think I should do that music... Yes. I am. Aah. I have to go pee first. BERAHBE......BACK! Ok. I wanna make my own rp, too. Like one where I'm the only one posting and what not. I got it pretty much started. Just looks weird and sounds really bad. I can fix it. I have to remember that. I think that's why I have issues writing. I hate what I write, but I don't just go back and fix it. I feel like it's permanent(thank you dictionary.com!) as so as the words leave my finger tips. But it isn't. It can't ever be permanent. Everything can change at any given moment. For good. Or for bad. ~sigh~ Music lyrics now. ARGH! Smells like alcohol up in here.XD Nah. Just bleach. Switch topics a lot. Aaha...I don't think I could ever post this in an actual forum anymore. I have no idea what I've said or anything. I just don't want to sort through it to make sure it goes with the TOS...Of which I need to reread. I will someday. When everything gets better. Music helps. Always does. Hate being sick. Cough so much and sneeze. Ack. Ps: You really freaking reading this? You MUST be bored as hell. Anyways, seriously, now music(if I do go back and take music out, it'll just be the lyrics part. I gotta set up a system for thats.). ~ Drop the world - LIL' WAYNE~ Till I Collapse - Eminem.~Once in a life time - Wolfsheim.~like a knife - Secondhand Serenade.~ Fall for you - Secondhand Serenade~The truth beneath the Rose - Within Temptation.~All the things she said - TaTu.~ Masterpiece 3 - Marianas Trench.~ Mine again - Black Lab.~ Dangerous and Moving - TaTu. Added 7/08/11....Yes. So, I will be able to post this in the chatterbox...AFTER I take out the lyrics. Mainly because of the song lyrics(Eminem and Lil' Wayne namely). But I will leave up the original rant in my journal and link it. I'll try to remember to publicize it. Using a new monitor right now. It be awesome. I can actually see everything. I also figured out that system for the songs. Yay, me. Anyways. I play wow. Yep. I mean, I go now to play wow. Very short rant update, no? WALL OF TEXT!XD. Added 7/25/11...I read something that made me cry today. I know it's not hard to do and all, but really...It made me realize I haven't been living at all, that I'm not...I don't know. Am I heartless? Is that why I don't really feel anything? Or am I just too dependent on other people's feelings? All my best friends, were never really my best friends. To them I was always just a friend. They always had someone they treasured more. Always. I'm just so sick of this. I've spent so much time trying to be someone else and help others that I don't know who I could be anymore. I'm not going anywhere because of it. I need to be alone. Like out in the woods or something. Away from my family, society. In a log cabin like famous writers sometimes do. Kinda like a hermit. Everyone is just so demanding. Needy is more like it. One thing after another with them. It will get better. I'll make it happen. Because I can. Because I will. I will find myself one day, all by myself. Because I don't need anyone else if I can just find me. Added 8/02/11... In a lot better of a mood today. Feel like doing math lately, too. I'm trying this egg facial mask thing right now. Can't speak with it on. Makes my skin feel tight has hell. I find myself listening to music non-stop. Mainly Nicki Minaj and Eminem. Great combo, they make. Almost time to peal the mask. After I peal it, I'm going to use the egg yolk as a moisturizer. At least, see how well it does it. Been watching Yu-Gi-Oh the abridged series too. Awesome. DBZ abridged...Nearly s**t myself with laughter. Made me fall in love with Vegeta all over again. Ghost Nappa! Going to pause in a moment or two to peal this thing off. Look almost like a ghost. Makes my face twitch. Been wanting to clear out my inventory, too. Not sure how I want to do it either. I want to get down to 500 items. That would be nice. Thing is that I love switching up my outfit too often to give up everything like that. Want to try, though.Ok. Going to go peal this thing and then start...Just babbling on here. I want at least half a page soon. Added 8/04/11... OK. I didn't get to babble after that couple a days ago. I get to do so now, though. Because I can. Because I'm my own b***h. Not yours. Or more specifically, my mother's and sister's. I'm even figuring out that I can work out in the morning and evening. It just got to do it. Mainly my problem with it before was that someone else always has planned things with me with out ever talking to me about it. They just assume. I'm fully confident now to tell them no. No, I don't feel like babysitting your baby because you want to go out an drink. No, I don't want to go to the store with you, I have to go to bed in three hours and god forbid you make the trip in just two hours, even. Guh. I love this confidence. I don't have to do what they say anymore. I freaking twenty for gods sake! I may still live with my mother because financially I can't get my a** out of here, but personally, and legally I might add, I am an adult. I got my times to work out and I'mma stick with them, because it be my schedule, ya know? It's not like I'm not working. Tish. And it's not like I'm going out and partying and need controlled to stop it. I would just like my time to work out and relax on here. More of my time that I get to myself, the more weight I can lose. More weight I can lose, quicker I can get out of here, and just join the Navy. Yeah, beeeach. Do this. Anyways, babble time!( ps, also selling stuffs will I'm typing this.) Tacos. What is up with Army males, ages 20-freaking 40, going through McDonalds drive through, asking for tacos? It's not funny. Just plain annoying. And a sandwhich is not plain if it's ketchup only, Seriously. Oh, yeah. I get paid tomorrow. Have to pay the rest of my rent, then, too. 120 dollars. Sister owes me 20 bucks, too. The loan came out of my rent money. Eh. Store full. Darn. It's nice to know that I haven't posted any song lyrics in a while. I think I'll just type what I'm listening to at the moment, though. I like the idea. Massive Attack - Nicki Minaj. Really love the beat on it. And the flow. Goes really nicely. Want to go play Halo or Dead Space....I'm thinking Dead Space. I'm liking out creepy it is. It fantastic. Buy my stuff so I can finish selling the rest of it! It's cheap as hell...Harhar...Screw the rules, I have money! I wish. Should try the lotto again. Just because. Song switch. Roman's Revenge - Nicki Minaj Ft. Eminem. It's beautiful. The combo of those two is just awesome. Both are just so weird and their own person that it's perfect. I wish they would make more songs together. Truly. I think I have about twenty bucks in the bank. I'm so broke. Ah. What I get for loaning money. I get no more sweets any more. I'm cut off, damn it. Need to be at least. Need to drink green tea a lot more. Yes. Another song change. Did it on 'em - Nicki Minaj. When I first heard it, I was actively wondering whether or not I liked it. Then, I listened just one more time and figured out that yes, I did like it. The beat and just Nicki worked with it. So catchy. You're probably bored with me now. Probably. If you are, go away, I ain't forcing you to read this. Neeh. If you're still here...Thanks. No, thank you very much. Two song changes while I was adding the introduction...Opening? Whatever. Save me - Nicki Minaj. Love it so much. Swear. Moment 4 life - Nicki Minaj. Really like this one, too. At some point in this rant, I'm going to look up that word in a moment to make sure I'm using it right, I'll just be typing whatever pops into my head. Sooo...Be extra warned. Never know what's going on in there. song change. Knockout - Lil Wayne Ft. Nicki Minaj. Listened to just this song for a week straight, got sick of it, another week later, listened again and it was great all over again. Adding a lot to this today. Nice! Should go work out soon. Hmm. Feel like I'm forgetting something. Ah, well. YES! I'm going to read a little bit. I read the translation of 1/2 Prince and The legend of the Sun Knight. By what's her name. It's awesome. I post link in a moment. Insert shameless advertisement of their site. Please support the author and translators! I will as soon as I have money...Which will prolly be in about a year. Oh, snap. I wonder with the economy will be like then. Seems like it's going to chit now. I'll be reading this when I'm like...Twenty-six and find it either stupid or weird or both or something. I wonder how I will change. I'd like to know...Song change. Sexy back - Justin Timberlake. You can thank Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series for this one. And Duke Devlin. So sexy. Another one. 2012 - Jay Sean Ft. Nicki Minaj. Love it. Can't wait for next year either. Or 2013. It'll be so funny. Anyways, linkage! Prince Revolution So shameless. No reason to be either. I don't get anything out of it other then more people to talk about it with. Ah! I remember. Dictionary.com....Ok. Here we are. Rant- verb (used without object) 1. To speak or declaim extravagantly or violently; talk in a wild or vehement way; rave: The demagogue ranted for hours. verb (used with object) 2. To utter or declaim in a ranting manner. noun 3. Ranting, extravagant, or violent declamation. 4.a ranting utterance. Hmm. I think I am using it right. Mainly the "Talk in a wild or vehement way" sort of right...And some people would say my way of talking...typing/writing is a bit violent. At least, the way I mean it....Ok. It's what I say, so frick off. I'm actually on my best behavior on here right now. On this thing. I am a bit more colorful with my words than I put on. The f-bomb every other word, mostly. Shoot, two song changes from when I looked that up. Skyscraper - Demi Lovato. Beautiful. And now, finally, Lighters - Bruno Mars, Eminem, and Royce '59. All of them as the artists because I can't tell who's it mainly is. And I don't care. Just love the song. Ok, Time to save this thing and check my shop. Ok. I be done for now. Added 8/05/11... Work was actually the best part of my day. Never happened before. It seems to be too much to ask for the simple things to work. Like a 360 actually reading a disk that has no damage whatsoever. Or connecting to the internet on it. Nooo. Someone has to password it and ******** leave. I understand someone was probably stealing the interwebs from us, but of all the s**t you do. I am so sick of them. They break everything they touch that is not theirs. And if they don't break it, they take it over, completely. I mean, really. This may be your home, but it is NOT your house. Not your stuff. Not your ******** money. Want to know why? Cause you don't even have a damn job. You have been here for ten ******** months. Nothing. You went and got nada. You want to lord your "l33t" skillz over mine? Go get a job. Now. Or move the ******** out and leave my s**t. Tish. Your dad's so rich, eh? Why the hell are you living with off of your step-mother and father? Go to that fantastic father of yours, you lazy, sleazy, punk-a** b***h.Breathe in, breathe out....OK. I feel a little better now. I need the sun back. It made everything better. Would like my stuff organized, too. And put away. In my room. Where people can't steal it. I don't even remember what else I'm missing. This is driving me insane. Doesn't help I just spent 80 bucks on nothing today.Candy isn't even helping. Also a first. Music will, though. It soothes the soul. And please pardon my French. I meant it yesterday when I said I was on my best behavior on here before. I even refrained from adding a few more f-bombs. Hmmm. Ok, going to do that "whatever pops into my head thing" I wanted to do. Added 8/09/11... Go figure, it did not happen again. I will for sure do so today. Yesterday, work sucked. Bad. I'm done. I'll leave it soon enough. Any whos, what to rant about today... I don't actually feel like ranting, just babbling. So, got my items down near 800. Yay! Lower, but still not that low. Just bored. Hmm. I'll try selling off most of my zOMG crap items for really cheap. Should knock down my items number by 50. Lala. Added 8/18/11... So much drama going on. My mom has to quit her work or she'll kill herself off quicker than ever. Then she has to take the time and the money to go to physical rehab to lose some weight or, again, kill she'll herself off quicker. I need to save to get a car, so I can start working where my mom it at right now. If I can do that, I could start clearing about 2K monies a month after tax. Hellova lot better than the maybe $800 a month I make now at McD's. Brother in law is also trying to get a job there. He should have gone in today, but I haven't heard anything from them. Don't quite care as long as they GTFO. My dad is now(has been) over working himself. He's starting to get bitcher everyday, for obvious reasons. Now, our bathroom floor is rotting, so now we have to spend about $2,500 and a week of our time(mainly my dad's, but I'll be attempting to help) to fix it. Along with that, we also might(pretty sure) we're losing the house come January. But that is something my parents need to work out. Le sigh. At least we got new phones this week. And I don't have to pay rent next month, either, so, the just about $1,000 dollars(for 3 paychecks) I'm partly sure I'll be making can so straight to savings for that car. As soon as I got $3,000 I'm going to go buy a $1,000-2,000 car. The rest will be for insurance. Not going to really buy food anymore, because I need the savings. I have plenty to eat and whatnot. When I get the job at my mom's I'll go into training for 6 weeks and I think two weeks after that you get your very first paycheck from them. Long a** time. But, still. If you're good at your work there, you can make up to $14 an hour. And they allow overtime. In fact, there is mandatory overtime. Awesome. I'm not giving up on the Navy, but I worry it might not happen anyways. I don't think I have the full drive for it. It might just be that I need to not focus on the weightloss and just let it happen....I feel that if I do that, though, that I'll run out of time. Aa. Life. You are so...so...so challenging...Added 8/21/11... Indeed, you are challenging, but I'm still pretty mean. I'll get you done. Been wanting to update this more and more. I want that page! Also just remembered that I have a lotto going on. I'll re-look over everything tomorrow to see how much I have to fix so I can start it up again. Also feel that I can post this in the chatterbox soon. I honestly don't care if anyone reads this. Heh, if I truly meant that, I would not be thinking about posting it up, would I? I guess it's just my way of trying to get attention. I don't mind. I'll just do it anyways and think about it later. Seems to be how I do things anyways. I have a...story? Not really sure what to call it, thing going on with the list of rules for an evil overlord. Like, I have the character and some of the plot down(so I guess it would be a story, but kinda like a just freak it story) but not the way I want to write it. I think I need to just write it how I feel like. Then go back later and fix anything that's a bit off. Or add stuff, or subtract...Ah. I'll be adding it to here because I can. Feel like doing that "whatever pops into my head" rant too. Hmmm. Alright. I'll start with the poster I coincidentally bought. The "how to survive a zombie attack!" one. Rule #1: Home is where the hatchet is. Uh, yeah. Wasn't there a movie called "hatchet"? Create a home base with plenty of weapons - The sharper, the better. Umm, yeah. Didn't everyone know that? I mean, even my parents got that down. We have at least ten Jess (a really good sword-maker here in Washington) blades around the house. They may be a little dusty, but Jess rarely makes duller than the sharpest of sharp. Rules #2: Watch the expiration dates. Dude. Didn't everyone also know about this one? Really? Stockpile food and water for long periods of time. Canned food is good. Junk food is even better. Hmm. Yes, yes. I do get it now. The worse it is for you, the longer it can last. Rule #3: Knock knock. Who's there? Hehehe. Who's there?(guh, lame. ;P) A zombie! Be sure to create a strong entry and exit door. Barricade all doors and windows. Go figure... Rule #4: Your mom. No seriously, your mom. Trust no one - not even your mom.(Even if your friends think she is hot.) Hmm. Ok. I'll try to follow that one.(not. I'll be the first to die) Rule #5: Have a burning desire. Ooh. Pyro! Zombies hate fire. Learn to make fire with everyday objects. Ah...What about with a toothbrush? Rule #6: Wear protection. Remember your rubber! Avoid all zombie body fluids. Yuck! Ooh. THAT'S what you meant. Rule #7: Wear sunglasses. At night. A nice pair of shades always looks cool and will protect your eyes. Yep. Gotta keep them suckers protected. Zombies love eyes second best. Rule #8: Run for your life. Because more than not, it will be. Stay fit and fast. Most zombies run like the chubby kind in your third grade class. Uhh, what about the ones from 28 days later? Rule # 9: Batter up. For baseball? Zombie down. Keep a large, blunt object nearby and ready to swing at all times. A bat, crowbar or sturdy tree limb usually works nicely. Aaah. So you don't have to use all of your ammo. Rule #10: No brain, no pain. No, nothing either. Decapitating a zombie is best but kind of gross. Key is to destroy the brain stem. Aah. Yes. Like with an ice pick. Rule #11: Beware of Bush. Bush? Aah, but, he's only a C student... Stay clear of bushes and shrubbery in general. Because of the Knights of Nii. Rule # 12: Stagger and drool. OK. I already do that. Am I good? Learn to stagger, lumber, and drool. Many zombies think you're one of them. Just pretend you're a gym teacher. Heey. I think I just found my callling. Rule #13: Cliche is okay. I think at that point it doesn't matter. Always check closets and under beds before relaxing in front if the tv. Don't want your time with southpark cut in by some zombie p***k. Rule #14: Boobies are good. Why, yes. Yes they are. Set up booby traps as warnings and alerts. Trip wires and ratting cans are a good idea. Totally. And don't just ignore them, either. I know people out there that would. Rule #15: Slipper knobs. Ah...No comment.... Try putting Vaseline on doorknobs. Zombies get frustrated. I bet they would. Rule #16: Nice to meat you. Oooh. Clever... Always leave raw meat out in the open to distract zombies. Better they eat it than you. I'm sure I wouldn't taste good anyways. Rule #17: Always wash your hands. You've been killing zombies with those things... Hey. Maybe your mom was right! Of course she was. See the rules of the house. Rule #18: Objects in mirrors. Are closer than they seem. Check backseats before buckling in. Wouldn't want nothing to happen, right? Rule #19: Don't get mauled. Oh, l. o. l. Avoid populated areas like shopping malls and movie theaters. To a zombie, those are an all-you-can-eat buffet. Avoid those, too. Though, I'm sure most of the zombies there would be fat. Rule # 20: Go all the way. After all, re-population has to happen sometime. A wounded zombie is not a dead zombie. Double tap. Very important. Ok, that was the rules, but I'm tired now, so, I'm off to sleep. NIGHT! PS: the red burns the eyes...Added 8/22/11...This is my outlet. This is my pen. My savior. I do this so I don't break. It is my s.o.s... Added 07/23/12...I am amazed. I haven't updated this is like...Almost a year. So much happened. Eldest sister had a baby boy. Gabe, so cute with his cheese face. He's almost a year now. Naomi is almost two years now. Quit McDonald's. Wanting to quit the job I have now. Just can't take the stupid crap. Worst part is that not everything is so bad. Just so pessimistic with everything that it just makes me want to shoot my own brain to make it stop. Not that I ever would, coward that I am. Problem is life. What would be more cowardly? Killing yourself or not? Everything can be twisted and twisted until you have no idea what the hell is going on anymore. Like you are stuck in a plugged up toilet with no way out. Not even a plunger to suck you out. Such a nasty analogy. No way around it. When you get in a slump, it's...Who knows? Death in the family is oddly hard. Never had it before. Do you cling to the people around you for help or do you just deal? Neither sounds like a great option. Nothing does. If you cling too much, you are too needy. You don't cling at all and you just a heartless b***h. Don't cry at a funeral for a family member, or hell, at all, you're still heartless. How to heck do you deal? Barely knew him. How should I feel? Weep like a p***y or shrug it off like I don't give a crap? Worst part is that I really don't feel anything. Absolutely nothing. My own flesh and blood, but I just want to walk away...Man, I'm a real piece of crap...Someone should just flush the toilet...I know it sounds suicidal, too. "Oh, don't do it!" or "Let's talk it out." Just stupid. IT's not suicidal. I'm writing it down to get it out. If I didn't, I'd be homicidal, not suicidal. I hate people. That's why. When I'm alone, I don't have to care about anything. Not even me. With other people, they just demand so much attention...Hmm. Question is, is it that I just don't care or that I care too much?## I just read over what I've already said before. I was so into this job before it started. Then...Yeah. I really do hate people. Why the ******** am I in customer service? And it was a bad idea not to focus on weight. I gained ten pounds working at this call center. I would feel so much better if I just leave....I wanna say that's true, but it's not. Stress will just be replaced with a different kind of stress. And if you are still reading this, I am amazed. Even after all those misspellings and confusing statements that I could have totally just corrected and made easier to read? Damn. I'm not sure who is more bored/crazy... Me or you? Why the hell are you still reading this? This glorified b***h page in tiny a** print? Do you hate yourself? Probably not more than me...I am the one writing this....Ah. I'll leave this for now. I have links to remind me. I'll be trying it more to make this longer and make myself feel better. I feel like a weak little b***h that complains too much. And this is proof, isn't it? Yes, yes it is. Sorry for the negativity, but I do have a warning....Added 10/12/12... So, yesh. I tried fixing up my lotto only to find out, multiple times, I can't seem to log into the mule account. Suckage. I can't tell if it's the password or not. I'll try fixing it the hard way. Through email. Ewww. My avatar now is a dude. Kinda funny. I guess. I like making it look as gay as possible. Now, I'm going to try what I have wanted to do on here for the longest time. Just type whatever pops into my head. Yay. I've been obsessing over one piece lately. Re-read the death of Ace and on wards. Went to the eye doctor yesterday. I how have to use this tear drop stuff, "Refresh optive sensitive", stuff. Apparently have some erosion going on on my eye. Get new glasses in a week, too. Broke my old pair over a year ago. Searching hard for jobs. Just found a listing that would be for a book store. Sounds fantastic for me. Also applied for unemployment. Need to pay car insurance. Sucks. Still working on the weight loss. Still wanting to join the Navy. Prolly never going to happen because I seem to just be so ingrained into being lazy. It's cold in this house. All the time. Like 65 degrees cold. Mom says it's always hot. What the hell? Really? 65? In a house? That's a cold. Luckily, I have gloves and a winter jacket. Then I just go for a walk to warm up even more. Man, if I just exercise and eat less, I could drop this weight. If only I could stay motivated. Almost like this rant thing. Just complete a little and have it still be progress and not recesses. I wanna type something...Like a book, but eh. What ones?! Should just grab the books around me and type the 3rd paragraph from the 75th page....I wonder if I could do that with manga too...Ok! Books it is then. The first one be, Smoke and Shadows, By Tanya Huff. Good book. Even have a fanficiton planned from it. Pretty much a "what if" fiction. Will work on it after a few others I got. Eh. The first sentence is " 'Please.' ". Eh. Weird. Next one! "This time the shrug was pure disdain." I don't really remember this part. Should reread the whole book. " 'From her angle I'm just another guy, and there's no shortage of guys around this neighborhood." Tons of men it is. "The gym on the second floor of the hotel is one of the best cruising spots in the city." Speaking from experience? "She's not going to expect us;she thinks I'm still completely ******** clueless.' " Pardon the language. But you should understand it by now. Added 04/29/13... Still here? Damn. And I have yet to get a full page going. Should type more random stuff. Why am I still doing this? Oh, because I want to see the look of it. And it's like a diary. A really, really dumb one.Added ??/??/??... Have you ever had someone who would not shut the ******** up and let you work? Like, I want to work on writing right now, but my roommate won't stop ******** talking to me. I get that what she is saying is important. I really do. I normally talk to her a lot and it is really normal for us. It's just, since we became roommates, we have talked nonstop everyday for almost a year. Especially since covid became a dumbass thing. However, I work for the post office now. I literally get home after nine to thirteen hours away from home. Then she doesn't stop talking unless she isn't there. So, taking that into account, if I try to go to bed at 9pm, after I get home at 5 to 7, that is 4 to 2 hours of her just talking at me that takes my mental consideration. Extra problem, is that I don't try to go to bed at 9 because she won't shut up enough for me to even say that I need to get to bed. I typically get to bed at midnight. That makes it 7 to 5 hours a ******** day, 7 days a week of her talking. It's a literal job in of itself. I need to move out on my own man. She is one of my best friends. I think I am just more of a loner than she is. That and she works from home. She has the freedom to do everything she wants to do. She chooses to have a job outside the house. I got no option. So when most of that time is spent having to listen/talk to her as well....When the ******** can I do anything on my own? I barely do. I am just complaining right now. Haven't thought of this thing in so long, but I do want to keep it going. I am going to be 30 next week. I moved states. I am now in Arizona. I feel alone when I know I am not, but....I just want things to change for the better...added 05/26/2021...
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