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not doing to well again...im not feeling good i feel like im going to puke and my throt hurst. on top of that me and my bf are arguing again. i think he is cheating on me. even tho he says he istn but i may never know if he is lying to me... but whats the point in dating me if he is cheating on me with someone who is probably way better then me? i hope he isnt tho!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love him alot!!!!!!!!!!! heart but our relationship isnt looking to good </3 i wish thar everything was back to noraml again... when cedric didnt go to jail. if it didnt happen i would be with him right now hanging out and having fun. talking. and i would possibly be carrying his baby right now if he didnt go to jail. we wanted kids so we were working on that but... it didnt work... and now since everything got ******** up im not with him. he probably would have had a job by now. possibly have a cell phone and maybe a car by now if everything didnt ******** up in the first place... i was meant to be with cedric. but i dont have the guts and curouge to tell my bf that... i dont want to hurt his feelings more then what i have been doing.... even tho he is hurting mine to. this is y i think he is cheating on me but almost everyday on the week he ignores me. i didnt talk to him for 2 days cause he was ignoring me. and i talked to alittle on one day. but at times he will talk to me on the weekends. i have been finding it very weird. and its just getting worse. the feeling of him cheating on me is getting worse everyday. he told me that he would never cheat on and try to show that he loves me by telling me some things. like he loves me with all his heart he would never cheat on me or use me or any of that... but i have been thinking that 1 he will probably do that or 2 he is probably doing 1 of those right now. i wouldnt be surprised if he was tho. he is one of those type of guys who would do that to their gfs. and plus he is that type who has had several gfs and has had sex with so many that he probably lost count of how many he has had sex with. im so glad that i have only had sex with one guy... and that guy i thought that we were meant to be and i still do think that. i thought that i would never find anyone else. i thought that he was the 1 so i thought that i didnt have to worry about finding any 1 else or worry about getting a new bf. cuase i thought that he was the last bf that i would have cause i thought that we were going to get married. acctually we were suppose to this year on july 22 i think but that was ruined now since he is in jail... and i feel so rude cause i hurt him... i hurt his feelings... he is sitting behind bars probably crying cause he is depressed cause i left him and he found out that im with someone else and he thought the same thing that i did. that we were meant to be. he said that he would never go out with any 1 else cause he is loyal to me and no 1 else. but i dont beleive that. he will find someone else that he will fall in love with and he will love her more then what he has had with me and have a better life with her then what he has had with me. i mean a way better life then what he has had with me. i put him thri hell. acctually i put everyone thro hell and i hate it... </3