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Fresh Start
Hello, subscribers and viewers. How is your day going? Tell me in the comments. Keep reading to see what's going on with me these days.

Winter is over and second semester started today. I already miss sleeping in. My instructors seemed unhappy today, off. I don't think they enjoyed winter break, or are begrudged about it being over. Honestly, I think they are fed up with their students and the immature behavior they've been ramping up over the past few days.

In my science instructor's words (whose name is one of Santa's reindeers), "Grow up. Seriously, grow up. You know how old you are, right?"

It's about time they were called on their bullshit. He lets these kids push him over, it's gone on for far too long. I was proud of him when he said this.

Anyhow, I've decided to attempt to stop slacking in class. My grades first semester weren't the hottest they could be, because I'm not performing in class to my full potential.. I'm a serious person (concerning specific things), but I think I may need to take certain things more seriously.

Need to stop giving full focus to dating. Despite the current situation with friends and S.O.s, my female best friend is still top priority. Sandbox love. I am being fully supportive of her and that guy she's going out with (who's a jackass). Mostly because you cannot control anyone. You can just be there for them through anything and whatever. If I'm good at absolutely nothing else, the one thing I am is being a friend. You can't tell me otherwise. I'm very honest with everyone.

Switching gears entirely, I'm not particularly favorable of my history instructor (her name is a color). She gives off this aura of self righteousness, or a holier-than-thou attitude. My disdain here is so real. She was there in one of my dreams, comparing me to my bio father (whom I don't have a bond with & am also not a fan of). Even my dream self got riled, throwing desks. My point in sharing this is to let you know not to let others bother you in this way. You may realize how nasty it makes you.

On to the next topic. Once upon a time, there was a girl and I, whom have never been real friends/associates, or even really anything. I'm not sure why we even communicated. Probably because she always wanted to keep recon on this guy she liked and I was friends with. Wanted an in to all the female friends he had. I had feelings for him. I think I'll always have this special place spot reserved for him. In the past, when her and I communicated, it was very immature. I was very easily peeved with her because she was extremely problematic. She never came off as genuine to me, and was very obviously loca with all things concerning this guy we had in common.

One thing I will say about it is this: I could have shown more care when she told me she had feelings for him and that she would like to explore them. I didn't for one second trust her to treat him the way one should be. I'm protective about the ones I care for. He was living a tough life as it had been while still, somehow, being this bright, dorky guy. I didn't want him left even more wrecked.

Anyway, really. I think it was too late. I am a brilliant person to have on your side, and she would have cherished that, had she been a different kind of person herself (maybe something opposite of manipulative). I'm just thinking, maybe I could have supported her more when she told me this.. Me today probably would have tried helping them. I would have also been warning him about her, but he already knew what she was (and still maintained her in his life). I wasn't really trying to be the good girl though. Still not. I'm more neutral about things these days. Honestly wasn't for him giving her another chance (he had before). I just want her to know, we don't have to harbor hate for one another. I don't hate anyone. I hope she has grown.

It's a new year. Time to move on.






User Comments: [2]
Evergreen Night
Community Member





Sat Jan 08, 2011 @ 10:05pm


getting even MORE serious on me?
that's too much serious, STAHP IT crying
you get any more serious I'm going starr sprouting grey hairs
starting anew is a good way to begin off the year
proud of you, Saph
buut. lemme give my 2 cent. you don't realllly owe that girl & we both know it, just sayin' *shrug*
your loyalty is to real friends, not people u know just want something u can give to em. Let that be the end of that.
But yea, you already know what's up smile


AmaranthineDemise
Community Member





Mon Jan 10, 2011 @ 10:59pm


YES, I must now, mustn't I? Thank you, Scott. heart you. I'm proud of you too.


User Comments: [2]
 
 
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