Yeah. Well.
I'm kind of getting tired of people and their crap.
I guess I've been dealing with it too long.
Maybe I'm just cranky because I haven't been sleeping.
I dunno. I'm just tired of it. Not that anyone here cares.
I've spent a long time being talked down to.
I've spent a longer time being treated cruelly with no rhyme or reason.
Sometimes I wonder..what drives a person to be needlessly mean.
I guess it kind of rolls off my back now.
Wish it would have back then...
But that just means I'm stronger now?
That I have the strength to face things when the world rears it's disgusting head at me and prepares for another attack.
I guess that makes me a better person.
But some part of me still feels it. Small, though...
Just a little twinge of..I don't even know what.
Just a little something every time I look idiocy in the face.
Just something unknown that makes me want to speak up.
Something that makes me clench my fists and want to stand for something better than the rest of the trash I see around me.
Maybe I'm being analytical. Or over-critical.
I don't know anymore.
I guess I'm a hypocrite then.
Seems whenever I call someone out on their bullshit, suddenly I'm the one being mean and launching attacks.
Part of me wants to think that's the truth...
That part of me wants to go back to being a dog.
Yet, another part, a stronger part, feels the truth.
The truth..that is..people are foolish.
Everyone has their follies.
Everyone makes mistakes.
But I suppose..it's the cowardice to admit to mistakes..that makes me sick like this.
I'm not a perfectionist..I'm far from it.
I'm a little OCD..I like it when things are in the right place... I fidget with my fingers in a certain order and pattern...
I'm prideful on the inside..and it shows sometimes... Trying to be humble...
I guess everyone likes to be told they've done good...
It's a rare occasion for me..that I have to build myself up sometimes...
I guess everyone could use a compliment..maybe some more than others...
But what a world..where compliments don't mean anything...
No one wants to give them..
I know why.
Upon receiving a compliment, no one is grateful anymore.
They always assume you want something from them.
Or that you're being two-faced.
..But I guess I'm a little old-fashioned..
That I still think of a world where women aren't degraded..
Where people don't cause problems for the sake of cruelty...
...Someone might call me "sheltered"..but that isn't the truth.
I guess it..makes me a fool..to expect people to be decent...
But I don't need that.
If a person can't find enough respect for themselves to respect others, what do they have in the world?
It boils down to loving yourself...
To understanding yourself before being critical of others.
When everything is stripped away and the ashes of yesterday are all that remain...
Can you go to sleep with a clear conscience..?
Can you turn the light off and think about the good you did that day?
I'd like to think..most people don't...
But..I know the truth...
The world is heartless today.
Your eyes are soulless.
You aren't seeing anymore.
You can't feel what's being described to you.
Nothing moves you.
Nothing compels you.
Your lungs still draw air and your heart is pumping wildly...
Even so...
You are dead.
...But that isn't what you wanted to hear.
I'm kind of getting tired of people and their crap.
I guess I've been dealing with it too long.
Maybe I'm just cranky because I haven't been sleeping.
I dunno. I'm just tired of it. Not that anyone here cares.
I've spent a long time being talked down to.
I've spent a longer time being treated cruelly with no rhyme or reason.
Sometimes I wonder..what drives a person to be needlessly mean.
I guess it kind of rolls off my back now.
Wish it would have back then...
But that just means I'm stronger now?
That I have the strength to face things when the world rears it's disgusting head at me and prepares for another attack.
I guess that makes me a better person.
But some part of me still feels it. Small, though...
Just a little twinge of..I don't even know what.
Just a little something every time I look idiocy in the face.
Just something unknown that makes me want to speak up.
Something that makes me clench my fists and want to stand for something better than the rest of the trash I see around me.
Maybe I'm being analytical. Or over-critical.
I don't know anymore.
I guess I'm a hypocrite then.
Seems whenever I call someone out on their bullshit, suddenly I'm the one being mean and launching attacks.
Part of me wants to think that's the truth...
That part of me wants to go back to being a dog.
Yet, another part, a stronger part, feels the truth.
The truth..that is..people are foolish.
Everyone has their follies.
Everyone makes mistakes.
But I suppose..it's the cowardice to admit to mistakes..that makes me sick like this.
I'm not a perfectionist..I'm far from it.
I'm a little OCD..I like it when things are in the right place... I fidget with my fingers in a certain order and pattern...
I'm prideful on the inside..and it shows sometimes... Trying to be humble...
I guess everyone likes to be told they've done good...
It's a rare occasion for me..that I have to build myself up sometimes...
I guess everyone could use a compliment..maybe some more than others...
But what a world..where compliments don't mean anything...
No one wants to give them..
I know why.
Upon receiving a compliment, no one is grateful anymore.
They always assume you want something from them.
Or that you're being two-faced.
..But I guess I'm a little old-fashioned..
That I still think of a world where women aren't degraded..
Where people don't cause problems for the sake of cruelty...
...Someone might call me "sheltered"..but that isn't the truth.
I guess it..makes me a fool..to expect people to be decent...
But I don't need that.
If a person can't find enough respect for themselves to respect others, what do they have in the world?
It boils down to loving yourself...
To understanding yourself before being critical of others.
When everything is stripped away and the ashes of yesterday are all that remain...
Can you go to sleep with a clear conscience..?
Can you turn the light off and think about the good you did that day?
I'd like to think..most people don't...
But..I know the truth...
The world is heartless today.
Your eyes are soulless.
You aren't seeing anymore.
You can't feel what's being described to you.
Nothing moves you.
Nothing compels you.
Your lungs still draw air and your heart is pumping wildly...
Even so...
You are dead.
...But that isn't what you wanted to hear.
