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this week i have re-exams... and if i dont have to do any.. i dont have to go..
its weird to know that school is still.. open..and I'm not there..
it feels like i finished school while i just started,,

i get assignments.. due dates.. so much.. WORK...

i thought this school would be heaven..
it turns out to be hell.. thanks to sinan..
i love him.. but i can't look at him, it hurts, like his eyes burn my soul..

idk why he isn't talking to me anymore.. idk why he has a diffrent look in his eyes now..
idk why him saying 'why are you so beautyfull' suddenly turned into him ignoring me..

i.. feel miserable.. more then ever.. never been in so much pain..


i.. miss.. death.. eventhough i never felt the joy of being dead.




i still keep on crying while thinking back at how mean i am towards my family..
I'm turning into an adult! and i hate it..i hate it so much..
it makes me cry.. i dont wanne grow up..
i want everything to be as the good ol days..