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_You come ta love not by finding tha perfect person; but by seeing an imperfect person... P E R F E C T L Y♥
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═══════════════════════════════════╗_You come ta love not by finding tha perfect person; but by seeing an imperfect person... P E R F E C T L Y♥╚══
═══════════════════════════════════╝August 1, 2010 11:52 PM
So, the writing begins again. My current situation is pretty bad, and I'm having a difficult time surviving it. I guess you could say I'm drowning, and there's nobody here to help. Tonight I slit my wrist, you made me come to this again. The scars where finally beginning to fade, but now they will be reopened. You've lied to me, you've hurt me, you've done everything in your power to demolish me, and you've accomplished it. I'm now broken, abused, and alone. You are gone, run back off to her- like always, and I'm stuck here alone, with no lover to wipe my tears, or to hold me and tell me that everything will be alright. I've lost a friend over this, boy was he something special. "I am alpha and omega." He lives in a fantasy world where he thinks he truly knows me, but man, he is way off. But back to you, I can't believe how quickly you replaced me. It only took you a week to run back to her. I wish i knew what I ever did wrong to you, what did I do to deserve this? Sure, you can blame this on me, I told Chris I loved him while i was in a relationship with you. But look at all you've done, you hurt me repeatedly by flirting with her. And you know what? You never truly apologized for it. Sure, you said you were sorry, but have you ever meant it? Have you ever truly apologized to me? I went through a lot for you, and man, it was hell. I stayed by your side, you slapped me, you pushed me around; but I never left you. That is what I can't understand- why would you want to leave me? Why can't I keep you happy? I was your little toy, you pulled the strings and I would move. But when I tried to free myself, you just hurt me even more, you changed the strings to chains. Look at all the people I gave up just to keep you happy. I had basically given up Chris for you, but it was never good enough. All i wanted was to keep you happy, 'cuz when you were happy, you didn't try to hurt me. But now look at me, I devoted my life to you, and now I am here with nothing but your tainted memories. I don't even have Chris anymore because of you, I guess he finally got tired of all this drama. I know I'm tired of it, but s**t, its like an infection, it slowly comes back, and it just keeps getting stronger and more vicious each time. I want to start a new chapter in my life. I want you to be out of it. But its awfully scary, without you I have nobody, you took 'em all away from me. You wanna know what the best part of this is? I still love you to death. I'd do anything you asked of me, if you asked me back out and just said "I'm sorry debb debb," I'd take you back. And then we'd go through this again, you'd dump me for her, like always, and I'd be stuck here crying over you, with nobody to help me through this rough patch.
