So it's times like these, where I'm once again stuck in a house full of anger and hate, that I really can NOT wait to move out and be on my own.
DK and I are beyond fed up with her brothers. They're both alpha males who are trying too hard to take over the father figure role that they're own father was too much of an a** hat to fill for Laurie. Which, of course, just causes the two to fight, which in turn breeds more disdain and thus... No one is a happy panda.
I wish sometimes that life were just a bit easier to deal with. If DK and I could just get jobs, then things would be a lot better. We'd have excuses to leave the house, we'd have money for food and other things, and we could finally save up for the move to Portland.
If we could just get jobs... We'd finally be free.
I know that a lot of people in my family don't expect me to be able to succeed at all. They think that I'm not thinking things through and that I'm going to fail miserably and come crawling back to them and expect them to take care of me. Or they expect me to be like my brother who is 22 soon and still living at home, spending his days whacking off to anime porn.
I wish I could get through a day where I DON'T think about how I can get to Portland, what I could do once I get to Portland, how I'm going to survive, what I'm going to do with my life. If I could get through a day without one thought about my future passing through my head, Hell will freeze over and Diablo will rise to try and take California.
The most I can do right now is hope to god things start to fall into place soon. If they don't, I don't know what DK and I are going to do... But I'm not looking forward to it, because it can't be good... Second choices are never really any good.
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Just some late night rambles. Fears, worries, love interest... All that fun stuff. Random thoughts, interesting ideas, sheer boredom... Whatever's on my mind when I'm still on the computer at 3 in the morning... (or later... You never know)