My beloved Oso Perezoso,
You and I are just two gooey people trying to make it in this ice cold world. I know we're not perfect-- I've certainly been guilty of removing mattress tags in the past, and I know you've dabbled in clipping nails in public, but let's put that all in the past and focus on what really matters: our misshapen love. Without you, I'm nothing but a convex bearded tit.
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