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Dezi's Notebook
My awesome random crap.
s**t, I don't know
I honestly didn't know what to call this one. Lies? Friendship is a delicate thing? Don't be a friggen' bum-hole?

So, I lost a friend last week. A good friend. In fact, my best friend.

I don't even remember exactly what day it was, or even when it really started going downhill. But two weeks ago, after we filmed our scenes for our Multimedia video, well... that was sort of the end. It was so fun, though. We went to her house (my first time) and saw her pets, and her sister, and she was so different at home. And it was fun.

Next day, though, that was sort of it. Pretty much ignored me, 'cept in MM when we worked on the video, and art, the class with just me and her, no other friends. But then it was finalized last week, Friday. I talked to her, and her tone said it all. She sounded really annoyed and whiney. Then she left.

We haven't spoken since, not even when I become a part of a group conversation she's in. Well, someone asked me to give her her pencil crayons back for them when the bell for lunch rang, as they had something else going on right away at lunch. But same annoyed "What?". She's looked at me a few times in class - not with any negative emotion - and we've had eye contact for a few moments, but that's it.

I'm so confused, and even a little pissed off. And though I don't let it show, I'm really hurting inside. My eyes are a little wet right now. It really sucks, though, remembering stupid things we did, or watching the videos on my iPod of our times together. Right here in my pocket is the video of the day she got her labret piercing.

But the worst part is that I don't know why she doesn't wan't to be friends anymore.

I'm a loner now in Math, except now the daily seating plan is more strict. In English I'm sitting with my old friends; there's no negativity between us, but we just drifted apart. Gym, I'm forced to hang out with my brother and his friends. My favourite part of school now is lunch. 50 minutes of stupid time with my real friends. I almost want to get out of French immersion, to be with them. Though we're moving in 4 months.

I hope I can last until then.





 
 
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