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choco rockz


alicecutte
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A Cinderella story
Hello. My name is Alice. My mother died when i was young. A purple necklace was all i have left of her. My father was heart broken. He thought in order to save his broken heart he needed another. He found her. But not the right one. Her name was Melony. Melony Crux. Soon to be Melony Halen. Thats right. My dad asked to marry her. I wasnt so keen on her. She had two daughters. Mallory and Katie. My new stepsisters. They were brats who thought they could have everything and anything whenever they want wherever they want. It was really annoying. By the time I was in highschool i had lived with them for about nine years. The first day of highschool my father died. We dont know how he just died. I think he was poisoned. Melony was...well normal. She and her daughters didnt cry at my fathers funural.
The police never found his will, or mothers. So i was stuck with Melony until i was of age to get the heck out of the house. I didnt know if i could wait that long. Highschool was okay. I found three friends whom i had come to love. Jake, i had a secret crush on him, Star, myy best friend, and Allie, Stars twin sister. My grades were average. My plans for the future were unknown. Everyday I came home Melony would make me clean the already spotless house. SOmetimes she would make messes just for me.It was the beging of May when the school was going to have a dance. THe theme was a masked ball. I was so exited and i couldntt wait.Star and Allie invided me to go shopping with them at the mall on a saturday night. Mallory and her kids were at a beach somewhere in Florida. I had the house to myself...And my Birthday. Star, Allie, and me had a great time. We got some good dresses. Star would be a bird and Allie to. But they wanted me to be a snow white peacock. I thought they were crazy and they were.
The night of the ball was a day after my birthday and a day before my step mother and step sisters would arive. It was monday my birthday when i got a call from my step mother. She told me she would be ariving a day early because Katie got poison oke.She threatened that if the hole house wasnt spotless then i wouldnt be able to go to the stupid ball. So I decided to clean for a hole 6 hours. I got a call from Satar asking me if i coul go over to her house and that it was an emergancy. I rush over there by bus. SHe asks me if a pair of shoes matches her outfit. I role my eyes and tell her they dont. She asked me to stay for about another thirty minutes. She roled questions at me like crazy. keeping me occupied. FInally when i demanded that i was going to go home, she lookeed at her whatch and said she would be right back and that she needed to make a quick phone call. She was out in about five minutes and she carried a blind fold in one hand and a bag in the other.
Whats going on I asked her. You'll see she replied. When we came to my house she skip to my side and foled the blind fold behind me. What are you doing i asked her. Its a surprise she replie. Okay. just make sure i dont bump into anything okay? I told her. Yeah yeah. now come on! she led me into my house. She removed the blind fold and all of my friends jumped out of hiding yelling Surprise! at me.





User Comments: [1]
Princess Dil
Community Member





Sat Feb 06, 2010 @ 10:41pm


Honestly Alice, it seems you copied the story off, A Cinderella Story, that's plagiarism and illegal.
When you write a story, it has to be original, you can't just change the names and make some other minor changes.
Also you had many spelling mistakes and grammatical errors, I can edit stuff for you if you want and maybe help with grammar, but I go by British English spellings, so I can't help much there.


User Comments: [1]
 
 
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