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since no one reads these i feel that i am safe to come on here and rant bout my feelings without anyone telling me what i can or what i cant say.
yeah..... senior year..... its suppose to be the highlight of everyones life.... right? we are suppose to be happy.... then why am i not happy? when will my happiness come in?
i mean i have had good things that have been happening for me. and i have been smiling again. thats a good thing. but.... alot of the time that smile is a fake. and im wearing a mask, that no one seems to notices. i guess its better that way. i wouldnt want to have everyone coming up to me and pestering asking me whats wrong. i mean im an attention freak, jealous, selfish, stubborn person. yes i know. i admit all that.
better than what others can do.
i want to change that. its hard. i know if you wanna change then change. why cant i let go? what the hell is wrong with me?
gosh i hate myself sometimes. well.... this was helping ranting and venting on here.
im done for now.... maybe i will cry later.... if not, its fine. i dont cry anymore. it just wont fall. the tears that is.
it sucks too. i wish sometimes that i could cry. it would feel like im releasing some of the tension im feeling. pft as if. since i cant cry, its kinda hard. but oh well.
imma stop now.