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Whatever I want


Kill it dead
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January 25, 2010 9:17 PM
Date: Monday, January 25, 2010
Mood: Depressed
Anything Special: Going to midnight release of Mass Effect 2 with father


Today, I decided to start a journal of what I am going through. I am not doing this for pity points or anything like that, I am just doing this, because I want to. Again, another warning pertaining to the content of this journal that I am creating: This is what happens to me and what I think from day to day, and it involves things like alcohol, cutting, suicide, depression, and other similar topics. And now that is out of the way, this is my real post:

Today went better than expected, which was a plus... That was until about an hour ago. An hour ago, I texted a close friend of mine (who I haven't talked to in some time) and asked him how he was, and also why he seemed not to want to talk to me. His response was that he "didn't know why." And i know that isn't too big, but it seems that he doesn't like me. Anyways, I went through a very complicated series of events today at school (things like being insulted... while in the locker room stressed and having a black teen rap against me), and I have been having suicidal thoughts that seem better than real life. Luckily, I have Eminem to listen too, and I feel better now, but now I will be depressed for about a week when I get these thoughts (which happen too often for me). I am sorry that I am writing so little, but I need to get ready for a midnight release for the video game Mass Effect 2. And I know that it is dorky, but video games help me with dealing with stupid things (although not as much as music does).




 
 
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