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I am the worst person in the entire world. I don't deserve Chi at all. I hurt her in so many ways, yet she still accepts me........i feel so terrible, I kept her from doing her schoolwork, i've made her late to her classes...and worst of all....I've lied to her about one thing about 4 months. I would do anything just for her to call me again. I deserve to die painfully, hurting my precious miracle, I should have appreciated her 24/7, carve a shrine made for her out of ice, painted her a portrait with my own blood, I should have not cared what anyone think, when i wish I could've kissed her in the hallway, but didn't...because of what people think of us......and Kimmy ruining my life, wishing I could die more. I tried to keep Chi's promise so hard, promising I wouldn't cut myself anymore, and I didn't....until....reading that..she was thinking of breaking up with me......My life, gone in an instant...I would cry all the tears out of my soul, and spill all my love out of my heart, and give every drop of blood inside my body just so we we're inseparable....My love tempted me to cut "I love Chi 4ever" into my wrist...and after i finished, i realized such a horrible, terrible mistake i've made, because i broke her promise trying to show how much I love her, I wish kimmy would leave my life, so I wouldn't have the chance of getting terribly depressed from seeing her....I guess...its all my fault in that too....I've been ignoring all my friends, my schoolwork, my family, my everything, only concentrating to my love, Chi, but still, I love her too much to care about all of that, but after Jaime and Zach hating me, I feel guilt inside. I didn't deserve Chi from the start...what did she do to deserve such a terrible, low-life, ugly, selfish, suicidal, depressed, fat nobody like me.....Nothing. I think Chi hates me now, I want to cry now, she doesn't trust me anymore and she's the only one i talk to in this world! the only one i can trust too!.....i guess...i started crying now....Will Chi ever speak to me again...will she ever feel for me like I do so strongly I do, and always will, for her......Will she leave me.....Will my life fade away, and end at 14...
ZangetsuZetsuei09 · Thu Feb 02, 2006 @ 03:29am · 0 Comments |
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