Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

dark surrounds me. ...
i see a face in the mirrior.
a stranger of who i was.
what happened to the sparkle in my eyes?
or my flowing brown hair?
i see no joy in my eyes.
they were so happy.
now emotionless.
they broke me...
are they happy now?
if they saw what they did wound they take it back?
no of course not.
im a shell of my former self.
i have no heart.
my heart lays in the dark where it will stay.
i wear a mask to fool everone no one sees.
i look in the mirrior its not me i see.
they forgotten me.
i wish to die death does not come.
insults cracked my heart open.
now my heart lay cracked broken lonely bleeding in the dark.
i cant reach it its gone.
i cry alone in shadow of the corner.
tears never hit the ground.
i feel nothing but pain anymore.
someone just pur a gun to my head and pull the triger.
just end the pain.
no dont try to help me its already to late.
i fallen into the black gates of hell.
i let the demons do as they wish to me.
but they do nothing.
they now that doing nothing hurts me more.
they can see it.
they can feel it.
days after days i wish my pain would end.
days by day more pain forms.
insults every day.
friends who see no pain.
family who never cares.
i wait for the day that this sorrow this pain ends.
will it ever come?
will i ever be free?
i get lost in my own world.
sometimes i want to stay lost.
i want to run from this world.
but i cant.
i let my tears hit the ground.
the tears look black to me.
i look back at the mirrior.
i smash my fist into it.
i let my blood drip from my knuckles and fall to the ground.
i see shattered glass around me white clear.
reflecting a strager with no purpose no meaning.
rain starts to pour down hard.
tapping at the window it turned into thunder.
i looked through the window.
the sky was pitch black.
the moon slightly covered by the black clouds.
stars covered by the thick black clouds.
voices ring in my head.
im not crazy i say to myself.
the voices say i am.
i belive the voices.
they say i shouldnt be born.
they say the world better of without me.
i listen to them.
i agree with them