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The theater stood high, that theater of Herot
Standing so high above the rest, it is the finest in the lands
Run by Hrothgar and his Day Manager Beowulf.
Now Herot was like no other movie theater
No for in this one, not a single day is boring
All movies are shown, but none that make any since
For here they only show Cult Classics and movies of the unknown.
Next to that the staff is a little off one could say.
Hrothgar likes to hire the odd-balls of the group,
He likes the cheap labor
And love the parties who love to get drunk.
For these are the ones who he can pay the less.
But the one who stands out the most is
Beowulf, the man with biggest head
(literally and figuratively)
He stands more proud than that of a God
And shows more power than that of most men,
But he's not one for brains or even people skills.
No this man is a simple minded ape.

“Beowulf be displeased with today's reviews”
he barked as he pased around the employees,
“No, Beowulf was looking at paper, and it say
our workers are rude n' noisy”
He picked up the paper and held it up to them
“See right there” pointing at the review
“Ummm, that's not about us” the goth girl at the register replied
“Yeah that's about the our other theater” the boy who looks like he
Never sleeps added
Beowulf blinked and looked over the paper again
“Oh...well carry on” he turned and walked out
“I wonder when the day will come when he realizes we are
lien to him?” the girl asked the rest of the workers.
“I doubt he ever will, he's a bit slow like that” another girl answered.
“True.” the goth girl went back to her job, as did the rest of the workers.

“Dumb paper always misleading Beowulf” he mumbled to himself as he went into his
Office to check the news
“Beowulf wasn't even aware there was another Herot”
He turned on the TV and started watching Sponge Bob
As he watched his boss walked in
“Beowulf, you in?”
Beowulf quickly got up out of respect and bowed
“My lord, what brings this intrusion into Beowulf's office?”
Hrothgar sighed but jester for him to stand
“I am not your lord, just your boss.”
“Yes my king,” he stood back up.
“I'm not your kin...oh never mind, have you seen the reviews?”
He held up the same paper
“What do you make of them?” he questioned a bit annoyed.
“Beowulf thinks we should do something with the other
Theater, they are a sour apple.”
“Beowulf,” Hrothgar sighed “There isn't another theater,
This is the 4th time you fell for that”
Beowulf's face grew a bit red “Damn that girl,”
With that he ran into the hall with a yell
“Damn you girl! You get yours!”
Beowulf went back and sat back down
“So what should we do?”
“We need a meeting to straighten these kids out”
“Beowulf would proudly do it”
“Well I don't think your...”
“And Beowulf will do it for free!”
he proclaimed.
“You got the job” with that he left the office.

On that note Beowulf walked into the cash register,
“Beowulf is going to be training you slackers”
he said with a proud look on his face
“Yup, Beowulf make yous less rude
And smartest like Beowulf.”
He picked up some swords and gave them to the staff
“What are we to do with these?” one asked
Beowulf shrugged “Beowulf saw it in ninja movie once”
“Now to start” he hit a button on the will with a small ninja on it
Just as then ninjas fell down...stuffed ninjas fell
“Beowulf says, gets them” He pointed in the
Direction of the staff.
For about a minute nothing happened
But then in the next minute, even more of nothing happened.
“Beowulf has failed you” he turned and started to walk
When the theaters doors open and walked in a fine
Dressed tall, handsome man
“Ba mhaith liom a buille faoi thuairim ón shouting Chuala mé
Fiú síos an tsráid, a bhfuil tú ag Beowulf?”
(“I would have to guess from the shouting I heard
Even down the street, that you are Beowulf?”)
He held out his hand to Beowulf and smiled
Beowulf screamed and smacked his hand
“This be a terrorist!” he yelled
“Uimh ní mé sceimhlitheoireachta, táim Gaeilge,
Agus is ainm dom Grendle”
(“No I am not a terrorist, I am Irish
And my name is Grendle”)
Beowulf stared at him “Speak English?”
“I only know a little” he said
“Good, why you here?”
“I want to make an alliance with you,
I am new here and opened up a new theater”
Beowulf smacked his hand away”
“No, get lost terrorist”
With those final words he picked Grendle up and throw him out
“Beidh ort brón seo!” he yelled before hitting the ground
(“You will regret this!”)
“Freaky French terrorist weirdo” Beowulf said as he walked into
Back into the Heroit.

A few months pasted when Beowulf noticed a drop
In people going to see movies.
“Pirates!” He yelled “They be taking Beowulf's money!”
“Nope, Grendle is.” The casher said
“He worse than pirate” Beowulf ran and got onto his computer
He made a post on a forum.
“Beowulf not happy, there be bad guy taking money from Beowulf.
Beowulf need stronger guy, strongest man in world to help
Him get money back.”
The post went unnoticed for a week when...BOOM!!
The side wall of the theater exploded and walked in
From the dust and rubble came, Chuck Norris.
Not a spot on him
BOOM!! Beowulf's office door was thrown across the hall
“Who is breaking Beowulf's building?!?” he yelled
And before Chuck Norris could answer, another crash
Through another wall
“OH YEAH! OH YEAH!” Stood the Kool-Aid Man
As quickly as he broke the wall
He stepped back out.
“I Chuck Norris, had read your post, Beowulf.
And I am here to help you.” a beam of light
shined down from the Heaven's as he stood there
Beowulf stood not even shocked,
“Beowulf need business help,
Bad French terrorist taking all my money and people”
Chuck stood still, still staring through everything
“Shall I kill him?”
“No..ummm Beowulf doesn't need him dead”
Chuck's eye twitched “Then why'd ya call me?”
He almost shouted.
“Beowulf didn't call you”
Chuck turned and kicked the ground making a
Small earthquake as he shot up in the air
“Stupid cow boy weirdo”
Beowulf said as he turned back to his office.

Beowulf stomped out that night wearing
What looked like armor and a sword.
He stormed down the street muddling to himself
“Beowulf going to handle this hisself”
As he approached the even larger theater, his walk turned
Into a sprint, as he started runing to it.
“Beowulf kills you!”
He ran up to it and began slashing
At the brick building.
Sparks bouncing off the sword with each strike.
But not a mark to be seen.
The silly man quickly became tired and his strikes
Slowed after only five minutes.
He yawned and fell, falling asleep where he stood.

The next day there was a crowd around him
Trying to figure out what he was doing
Or planing to do.
Grendle walked over and poked him till he woke,
“Feicim na marcanna a rinne tú,
Bhfuil ar intinn agat ar a íoc leo??
(“I see the marks you made,
Do you plan on paying for them?”)
Beowulf sighed “Beowulf admit defeat”
He handed Grendle his sword “You win”
But before either of them could say a word
Chuck came back down and kicked both of
Them out of the planet
“Take that you crazy weirdos!”

Since that day on, no one has seen or heard from
Grendle or Beowulf, but some say
That that kick was so hard, it sent them back in time
And some say it was them and their word that might
Have inspired the book Beowulf, but that's
Crazy thought if anyone think there was a connection,
Grendle was way too ugly to be the same Grendle
And Beowulf was at least 3% smarter in that book.



By Nolan (Kitty or Neko)