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my old boyfreind from a year and a half ago once told me , that life is like an old jelopie, youre always riding on the brink of breaking down, and you never know what youre gonna see, or hear or what obsticles you will face, but you keep on riding. i never really realized how much this advice helped me at the time and right now is probably the hardsest obstacle ive faced so far, people tht ive known forever are changing so much, its almost unbearable, their becoming people i dont like, to affraid to be themselves. and i keep telling myslef tht i wont see them because im going to a diffrent school than everyone but it dosent help, and then i remeber zach, who i will never see again unless by miracle, i saw him about three months ago on the street, we looked at eachoter from across the street, but he turned and kept walking, not so much as a hi! or wats up? or even a nod or smile, tottal iggnorence for years and years of good memories and love and trsut, it left me feeling invisible, but thts ususally what i am, the second glance, but when people take the time to take tht second glance, they get to know the real me, and im realizing as i watched all these old home movies tht my mom dug up of me when i was little, tht i to have lost myself, i was so free, i didnt have a care, i was beutifull i had a glimer in my eyes that made everyone i met love me. i had long curly golden hair and i love life and everything in it i loved to dance, i loved to sing i loved to lugh............i was free and its sad to think tht i to have changed, afraid to be myself, but it seemed though that at the end of this school year i was myself, and people loved me and i was happy and after i came home from the graduation dance threw off my heels and collapsed on my bed, still in my black dress and slowley drifted towards sleep, i felt as though people were still dancing around me and i went up to them and i said to my freind kirsten, but we already went home, and she sadi ya i know and ran away into the dancing crowd of people, i stood still as twirling figures of the people i knew and loved dancedf around me, the intro and ending of the violin part of the song played in my head as i stood feeling happy and myself, not knowing what was coming, and everyone was happy. if only in my dreams........