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This is me.
Current mood: okay


I'm not that quiet and shy girl anymore.

All that held me down died...
I don't need all that constant worry and drama.
The Stephanie that was so uptight has died...

I live for today, not tomorrow. I know why now.
I'm loud, crazy, and just looking to have fun.
Yeah, I'm more outgoing... So what?
Being with my friends let me forget about everything that I worry about in my room.
My room is my problem area. Once I walk out that door... My mind instantly clears.

I have to watch my tongue when hanging out with some people.
I'm still cautious with everything that I do... I'm not a full blown wild child.

It sucks when you lose yourself.
The things that you once enjoyed before... You don't anymore.
Change is never fun...
But we do gain a sense for it.

I'm trying to make my change fun and better for me...
Not for others.
So to those who bring up that I've changed...
So what...
I've been the same person from Elementary school up until this year!
Yeah... I know... Late bloomer. Lol.

I'm not looking for your approval or acceptance.
My morals remain the same... Some tight tweaking was needed.
My future... It's a working plan... But fool proof to the MAX!
Dreams are for children...
Wishing is for little girls...
Hopes are for big thinkers...

So, no more hoping, wishing, and dreaming.
If it's something that I want or need... I'm gonna make it happen.
I'm not living in a Fairy Tale anymore where if I wish, dream, and hope for something strong enough... That it'll happen.
If I want it... I will go for it. Even if it takes long.

I'm developing my old habits again... Some good... Some bad.
Like my Tomboy stage... That's starting to spill out. Lol.
Sometimes it's refreshing when all I wanna be is one of the boys.
I mean, rough playing... Getting sweaty and dirty... It's refreshing! =D
I don't belch and fart or whatever... That's just really... Uncalled for. xD LOL!
But for what it's worth... It's good to just have that sense that you're one of the boys.
Especially if like... They're your closest friends. They don't treat you like a piece of meat or differently just because you have boobs (Shut up, Miranda... Lol!) and other female parts!
They don't try to, "Get with you" or "get in your pants." It's all a mutual feeling. It's like when you were younger...
Playing just to enjoy a game and have fun. Not to get in good with the girl... Make your moves... Flirt.
Some guys misjudge my personality as flirty... But I treat my guy friends like I treat my female friends. And I'm sure not playing for both teams. Lol!
Call me a hoe, slut, skank... Whatever...
But I know what I am... I'm Megan's hoe! Lol! =D

I've always aimed high, and never settled for less...
I'm still aiming high. =]
I'm not gonna let the green eye get ahold of me.
It's stupid, uncalled for, and immature.
I'm not gonna take anyone's happiness away, and I expect them not to interfere with mine.
Not all of my happiness is real...
But if I believe in it hard enough that I am happy... I can trick my mind into saying, "I'm happy."
Not all of my smiles are real.
Smiles can always cover up ones true feelings.
I'm actually getting better at that.
=]

It's like I'm mastering the art of pretending...
Pretending to be happy... Pretending that something doesn't bother me... Pretending that some things I can live without...

If it keeps people from stop worrying about me so much... I'll pretend. Lol.
No one should worry SO much about me. I'm okay... Even if I'm not, I'll pretend that I am.

I still have that goofy/mellow personality that people adore, so don't think that's gone anywhere folks!
I've just gained a better sense of myself... What/who I was... What/who I've become.

I'm still that advice stand that yous guy need. Lol.
So, come at me with whatever problems you have.
I'm still that person that will listen to any and everything if anyone needs that ear.

I'm not regretting anything from this point on.
I'm making memories.

This is me...
The new me.