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Is it just me or does facial hair on men...feel like pubic hair

Today, I thought it would be funny to fart in my roommates mouth while he was asleep. I

walked over to him and pulled my pyjamas down and let loose. To my surprise it was a very wet

one and I accidently took a dump on his face, he woke up and beat me until I was bleeding.

FML

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business

partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his

recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm

a young guy. FML

Tommy and his parents were preparing a party for the neighbors. Tommy watched his neighbors

yell at each other, saying the words b***h and basterd to each. Tommy went over to his mommy

and asked, "What is a b***h and a basterd." His mother replied, "A b***h is another name for

woman and a basterd is another name for a man." Later that day tommy was lurking around and

he heard his neighbors say p***s and v****a. He asked him mom what a p***s and a v****a was

and his mom said, "A p***s is another word for umbrella and a v****a is another name for a

coat." Tommy shrugged this off, then started to watch TV. His dad was shaving his face when

he yelled "s**t!" Tommy went up to his father and asked what that had meant. His father had

replied, "s**t is another word for shaving cream." Then later Tommy's mother was cutting the

turky and she said "********!" Tommy asked what that had meant and his mother replied, "******** is

another word for cutting the turky." After that the doorbell rung, and the neighbors were all

ready for their mean. Tommy answered the door and said, "Good evening bitches and basterds.

Please hang your p***s and v****a up on the coat rack. My mom is ******** the turkey, and my

dad is whipping s**t off his face."

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a

while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to

surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't

see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started

masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML

Today, I went to a huge party. My ex boyfriend was there who I still have feelings for, so I

decided to make him jealous by making out with the really drunk guy next to me. While we were

making out, he threw up in my mouth and all over me. Everybody found it hysterical including

my ex. FML

I went over to my boyfriends house after school, and I needed to go number two really bad! Do

I told him I was going to the kitchen but I really went to the bathroom. When I got to the

bathroom I looked at my panties and saw a really large poop stain. I paniked and threw them

out the window so I wouldn't smell. Later when my boyfriend walked me home, he saw them and

said "There are so really nasty people in this world".

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on

my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I

noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the

photograph. FML