I went to the doctor earlier this evening, I found out that as hard as Adam tried to give me a fertile womb, I cannot carry children. I want to be able to give him the child he wants, but I cannot carry. I talked with my ex-husband Hanyou today about it.
It feels as if I am losing Adam. Just once, I wish he'd come home, bring me into his arms and hold me close to his body. I know it sounds so silly, but I crave his touch all the time. He is always so distant and it worries me.
He comes home in the evenings and almost falls onto the couch exhausted. Then in the early morning hours, he leaves for work. I see him for a total of about five minutes before he is passed out on the couch.
I just wish there was more I could do. I feel so lost and helpless. It's as if I am not even here anymore. Things changed when I passed away. When I died, Adam seemed to slip into an unreachable void and nothing I do can rouse him out of it. No matter the amount of affection I show him.
Signing Off,
~Ebony~
Lily-Anne-Marie · Tue Dec 06, 2005 @ 02:56am · 0 Comments |