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Destiny is doing well, she's growing well, just like any vampire should. She looks like her dad, but she has my spirit, which is good. No signs of her being anything but vampire. I'm only praying that she doesn't go cyborg on me. She needs to know the ways of the vampire before anything else...
 Lily-Anne-Marie · Sat Oct 14, 2006 @ 05:01pm · 0 Comments |
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Well Destiny was born on September 15, 2006. She is sleeping in her bassinett as I write this. It was not a tough pregnancy by any means, nor was the delivery. I just wish that Adam were here to see his daughter. She looks just like him. I remember when I first met Adam in the Vampire Bar where I never go anymore.
It was a dark day and Trinity still clung to him, but I lured him away from her just like I knew I could. We became friends, then lovers. He got me pregnant, we got a divorce and he's gone. I do miss him terribly, but I still wonder what it is that he's up to nowadays.
Ah, Destiny just woke up, I must attend to her needs. Until next time,
Ebony
Lily-Anne-Marie · Sat Sep 23, 2006 @ 03:14am · 0 Comments |
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The joyous sound of freedom...that's what should be playing for me right now, but it does not ring high and true. Adam and I are divorced and he is gone forever. So I am still stuck carrying this god forsaken child which he and I created out of love, but the baby shall never know his father's name...she is still named Destiny and I am still due in September. Only now do I wish that he could be here to once again say that he loves me to hold me in his arms again. But yet, alas, he is gone and I know nothing of him amore...
Lily-Anne-Marie · Tue Feb 07, 2006 @ 01:53am · 0 Comments |
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Again, I went to the doctors about a week ago. It turns out that I am indeed pregnant. A week into the pregnancy already...Adam is happy and so am I. It is really a miracle that I am able to have a baby. He and I have been trying off and on for a while now. But finally, we were able to.
Our baby will be born just a few months after two years of marriage. It will be a nice addition to the family. The only thing I worry about is his constant absence from the household. One day that baby is going to ask me, "mommy, where's daddy?" and I won't be able to tell her...
Ah well, it will be something we have to work through, just like everything else. I just hope things work out better than they have in the past..
~Ebony~
Lily-Anne-Marie · Sat Dec 17, 2005 @ 08:35pm · 0 Comments |
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Something that plauges my mind |
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I went to the doctor earlier this evening, I found out that as hard as Adam tried to give me a fertile womb, I cannot carry children. I want to be able to give him the child he wants, but I cannot carry. I talked with my ex-husband Hanyou today about it.
It feels as if I am losing Adam. Just once, I wish he'd come home, bring me into his arms and hold me close to his body. I know it sounds so silly, but I crave his touch all the time. He is always so distant and it worries me.
He comes home in the evenings and almost falls onto the couch exhausted. Then in the early morning hours, he leaves for work. I see him for a total of about five minutes before he is passed out on the couch.
I just wish there was more I could do. I feel so lost and helpless. It's as if I am not even here anymore. Things changed when I passed away. When I died, Adam seemed to slip into an unreachable void and nothing I do can rouse him out of it. No matter the amount of affection I show him.
Signing Off,
~Ebony~
Lily-Anne-Marie · Tue Dec 06, 2005 @ 02:56am · 0 Comments |
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Well, I can have children now, but I have a feeling that the birth is going to be complicated. I'm rather nervous as Adam has been out of sorts recently. His mechanical arm acted up after a most intimate time...I believe it was my fault, but who knows nowadays. I just want him to be safe.
Another thing I am worried about is how am I going to support a baby? I don't eat food, I rarely sleep and when I do it is in short spurts. Also, I wonder how the baby is going to survive, will it be human or will it be vampire?
What is life anyway? How do the humans deal with it? I will never understand how they can handle the beating of the heart in their chest. Mine does beat, but it is one of those things, it only does that when I have blood flowing through my system which isn't often.
Lily-Anne-Marie · Mon Nov 14, 2005 @ 12:50am · 0 Comments |
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Another Day, Another Routine |
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I just took a look at my husband's journal not too long ago. It is true that he wants a baby. I know he does...he said he even loves kids, but he's worried that our baby would look at him differently because he is a cyborg.
I personally think he's got nothing to worry about. The only thing we have to worry about is my dead womb. That's the problem here. I can't release any of the eggs so in turn, no period. I envy the living women. Many of them say they envy me though. Why? I don't know don't ask me that!
It is harder to know that when my husband is out at work, kids are always going up to him to say hi and his buddies have bloody children while he can't. I know that if we were able to get my womb active for just ten months, we would be able to have a baby. But no magic in the entire world can do that.
Hell, as it is, I have a hard enough time making sure that my body is kept prim and beautiful. It's not easy you know. All the preparing, the makeup things like that.
I just worry that Adam will be looked upon at work like he's committed heriacy. I've heard it so many times before. Leave the baby making to the living....
Lily-Anne-Marie · Fri Nov 04, 2005 @ 05:41pm · 0 Comments |
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Just another day in the life of a vampire I suppose. Marriage is definately harder than it was back 100 years ago I will say that much. As it is, I married a cyborg. For those of you who don't know, half human half robot. He's a sweet guy, just a bit cold towards me many times.
I love him to death, but it's often hard to explain how hard it can be. I see all these couples running around in the sunshine, whereas I teach at night and he works during the day. Rarely are we ever together as a couple. I guess I just want that extra thing in my life, a baby...but I can't have children.
Even if I were able to, the child wouldn't have a steady father figure in his or her life. I love Adam and I want us to be happy, but I am beginning to wonder if he doesn't want a child. He's been looking at me differently for a long time now.
It's almost as if he is trying to tell me something mentally. If he is, I am sure as hell not getting it. I just want him to be happy, but if that means having a child, we would have to go through the whole process of finding a host for the baby.
It is not as if I can't have the baby. It's the fact I can't carry them. When I died so did the womb, but for some strange reason, my eggs are still fertile. It's one of those weird things in life I suppose.
Lily-Anne-Marie · Tue Oct 11, 2005 @ 02:35am · 0 Comments |
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Well, it is July now, I should be reading these books for school, two of which I have read already and one I just cannot get into. It is set in the 1930's, down south, with southern dialouge.
Granted, I love to read, but when you have to sit and translate the damn text, then it is bad. I am pleased to say this upcoming year is my last year in high school. I'm a senior and I'll be going off to college soon.
I have been waiting all my teenage years for this, plus my 18th birthday. I'll be 18 when I go into college, like many my age. I just hope to graduate with good grades. I plan to work my arse off this year, pulling B's or better.
If I don't, I will work even harder to bring it up. There will be no more of this failing my exams because I didn't study. I have to make myself study damn it. I will study until I fall asleep if I have to.
This means that I will not be online as much. I have a math class this year, a lot of English, art, and a business class. So I will be working rather hard in school. That does not count all my extra curricular activities. That is another thing I will be doing.
I will also be talking to the incoming freshman. I want to share my wisdom to the younger ages. After all, once I am gone, they are the ones who will be leading our world right?
Lily-Anne-Marie · Sun Jul 10, 2005 @ 02:44am · 0 Comments |
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