When did waking up become such a chore?
When did breathing become an obligation, something I did for the sake of others, but not for myself?
Why does talking to my family cause me to hurt so?
I’ve been holding back so much, not even aware of the harm I was doing to myself as I did so.
Why, when I am challenged in my life and ideals by them do I have no words?
Is it because if I started speaking what I truly felt and thought to them I would be unable to stop?
These ties to those around me cause me pain nearly every day, yet for some reason I cannot let them go.
Do I enjoy this pain that living causes me?
Maybe I cannot speak back because a part of me believes what they imply when they speak to me.
They have not said I am worthless, yet it is how I feel.
They have not said I am wasting my life, but I can hear the words when they remain unspoken.
My eyes leak out as my heart wishes I had the courage to stop it from beating.
When did living my life, my life, the one thing no one should be able to take away from me…
When did it start to become an obligation given to me by others?
Why is my reason for living only one person?
Shouldn’t I have more reasons not to die?
And why do these things I have known for so long only now cause me so much pain?
Neutiquam_Erro · Sun May 03, 2009 @ 08:40pm · 1 Comments |