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I feel like I'm drowning. I am so stressed or overwhelmed or i dunno. I just want to cry. a lot.
I'm only good at one thing, and now that seems to be going downhill. In reality it's not, at least it's not by other peoples' standards, but considering it is the only thing I am good at... I get to use my high standards to judge. And when your are at the top of something, the only way to go is down. Getting to the top is the easy part. It is satisfying. There is no satisfaction to stay on top, just fear. I always fear I will fall, so every little bit I drop, is like an earthquake to me. Other people would think "I wish I had her problems," but to me it is the only thing I have. Every little time I fail is terrifying and horrible. I feel sick. I feel so ******** alone.