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Wait! What's your rush? What's your hurry?
You gave me such a fright
I thought you was a ghost!
Half a minute can't you sit? Sit you down,
Sit!
All i meant is that I haven't seen a customer for weeks

Did you come here for a pie sir?
Do forgive me if me heads a little vague

But you'd think
We had the plague
From the way that
People keep avoiding

Heaven knows I try sir!
But there's no one comes in
Even to inhale
Right you are,
Sir would you like a drop of ale?

Mind you I can hardly blame them
These are probably the worst pies in London!
I know why nobody cares to take them
I should know
I make them
But good?
No!
The worst pies in London
Even that's polite
The worst pies in London

If you doubt it take a bite
Is that just disgusting?
You have to concede it
Its nothing but crusting
Here drink this you'll need it
The worst pies in London

And no wonder with the price of meat
What it is
When you get it,
Never thought I'd live to see the day

Men'd think it a treat
Finding poor animals
What are dying in the street

Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop
Does her business, but I noticed something weird
Lately all her neighbors cats have disappeared
Have to hand it to her
What I calls enterprise
Popping pussies into pies


Wouldn't do in my shop
Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick
And I'm telling you them p***y cats is quick

No denying times is hard
Even harder that the worst pies in London
Only lard and nothing more
Is that just revolting
All greasy and gritty
And tastes like

Well pity a woman alone
With limited wind!
And the worst pies in London
Ah, sir
Times is hard
Times is hard!