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i can only fake a smile...nothing cant really make me smile...when i am near the ones i love...i cant cry when i am near anyone.... i can hardly do anything when i am near people..... i feel ill inside knowing that the fact that i have to face life with unsuspected Twist.....but i can hardly breath when i am near things that frighten me... i get so scared so easily.... heh i hate the fact that i may act like a bad a**....but.....thats not the real me..... the Real me is Kind,Gentle,soft,caring. Some times i wish i was never born....but most of my friends know the reasons why....if you dont ill list them....

but at times i come to realize how important life is to me....i have some of the most greatest friends....few we may have had our past screwed up.... and i wish at times i can go back in time to change what ever we did wrong....but no matter what i am always living for my friends happiness. thats all i really care for....if people i love are happy. Then i am as well. But if my friends are in pain i can not bare the fact that they are....when they are in pain i feel it as well.