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Forgive the rant,

Does it matter?

What am I talking about you ask? Its quite ambiguous, for what I am talking about has several different meanings, most of which hardly making sense to the reader.

Its just that, no one cares. I am aware that some do, but certain people could just care less. I say I'm leaving Gaia, and about five minutes later I get PMs asking for gold and items. That makes me feel even worse. No one really says anything about me leaving, all they want is my crap. So all I am is just an item warehouse?

Maybe I will be missed, but what have I done to place an impact on people's lives?

Nothing to be quite honest.

I'm not an avid donator, people really don't talk to me, I'm precieved to be a b***h just because I yell at the simpleton. I have a right to yell as I please, yet people get pissy. I'm not here to make you like me, I'm not here to please anyone. I'm here to be myself, and a lot of people don't appreciate that one bit. Life isn't about being kind of thy neighbor, its about being true to yourself, and in some ways I find that I am lying to myself by being nice to certain people when I should be truthful.

Sometimes I also ponder if it is the best thing for me to keep working at Stater Bros. I work so hard for those people, for simple wages. I stayed an extra 15 minutes yesterday just so I can get a couple extra bucks. I get paid more on Sundays, so I milk everything I can from them. Supposedly I am getting a raise next month, so maybe it might get better.

I really don't like my co-workers, and most of them don't like me back. I'm a social reject, and I can't just dive into someone's conversation - besides, that is rude to just interject. It really annoys me that I get dirty looks for doing my job, and I don't appreciate people whispering behind my back, or via the comline. I'm very tempted to use the intercom to just tell them to knock it off.

I also wonder if it is even worth it to hope that I will find someone new. I'm ready for someone new, but there is no one in this goddamn town that likes me. I'm considered to be a friend amongst guys, and it really pisses me off. Jason thinks of me as a friend, a few other guys think I am cool - and here's the clincher, they're all taken. I don't like that, but I will not ruin a relationship for my personal gain. I know what it feels like, so I will never do it thanks to simpleton.

There's just a lot of unwanted stress right now, and I feel like I can rip something apart. My entire body hurts at the end of a work day, to the point of making me cry. I poke my shoulder and it recoils in a blistering pain which makes me want to throw stuff at it.

I don't like it, and I don't like what I am feeling on here. I've been using my mules more and created a new one to talk to people. Maybe I'll move into that one sometime later, I don't know yet.

I hate all this uncertainty it really makes for bad thinking material.

Clewgurl88
Community Member

Offline

Commented on: Mon Oct 17, 2005 @ 08:21pm


	you're leaving gaia? you can go tell your co-workers to go ****** themselves i think it is that middle-of-semester strees period... everyone's going through it. All my mom told me is 'welcome to the real world' I'm so afraid of what it's going to be like when i'm out on my own eek**

Commented on: Tue Oct 18, 2005 @ 06:00am


	maybe it's a good idea to leave...or...just make that mule of yours and send everything to it. Don't tell anyone and don't visit the old places you go to. You don't need it.

NightSymphony
Community Member

Phe
Community Member

Commented on: Wed Oct 19, 2005 @ 03:03am


	Rants are good, since it's a positive release or your thoughts and emotions. heart

Commented on: Wed Oct 19, 2005 @ 06:09am


	Yeah, I just wish it was easy to leave behind the people that really annoy me on the inside. I'm tired of being lied to. Especially those connected to Raymond, I don't want to tolerate it.

ShaIIow
Community Member

Commented on: Wed Oct 19, 2005 @ 04:19pm


	Well if you ever need to just rant to someone, you can always pm me, I'll be around to check my pms. 3nodding

Commented on: Thu Oct 20, 2005 @ 01:28am


	Yes'm

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