BROKEN
i looked at you and you smiled
i saw you with her and i broke
you said it wasent true and i believed
i told you if you loved me and you shoke your head
i ran away and cried
i saw you with her again
and i broke
you kissed her
and i knew it would never come true for me
you saw me looking and i ran
you didint fallow you stayed with her
my heart broke
i wear a necklase
its dark and it shaped like a heart
but you didint notice
the lightbolt mark
you thought it was from bolt
but it wasent
i knew what happened about you and the girl was a dream
but i saw you with her
i know you dont love me
and i know you think of me as a friend
but you cant feal the pain i have
i wear the necklase every day saying its lucky
it actually represents my broken heart
i try not to show im sad
but if you look close enough you can see the sadness in my soul
you stare at me for a while smiling then you turn
i play with my necklase and trying to hold the pain back
i dont want to tell you i like you
becouse you wouldnt want to see me
you dont notice i smile and blush when im with you
you dont see why i give you hugs
you dont see that i love you
you dont see what ive done for you
you dont see me looking at you when your with a girl
you see nothing
now i stand staring at your brown sparkling eyes
me still wearing the necklase
hopefully youll notice how much i want you heart
View User's Journal
my journal about love life and more
well i write mostly about my life
Community Member
you've got an amazing knack for poetry, possibly even song writing.
i know it sounds kinda messed up, but i adore how you give your real, raw emotions--being hopelessly in love with someone even when you feel it's of absolutely no gain to you.
keep writing, work a little on your spelling and grammar, and continue with the raw emotion, but reel in the reader with talent and finesse by using a little more imagery.
as for the problem you face as you write, we ALL feel like that sometimes. and sometimes your love will be returned, and sometimes it won't be and you'll feel like this again. it'll be okay, honey.